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Michael Biehn Archive


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Author's Chapter Notes:
One of my personal favorites.
"I don't even know why I'm doin' this with you, Ezra."

"Because, Mr. Jackson, we were the only ones available for this mission."

"You know how to do this?"

"I'm sure it won't be difficult."

"Ever done it before?"

"Have you?"

..........

I believe we have ridden far enough. Why don't we select one of those?"

"Those ain't proper Christmas trees, Ezra. We gotta go way up further into the hills. We'll leave the wagon here, go up on horseback, and drag a tree back here."

"Did you say 'further?' That could take hours."

"You wanna do this right, doncha? Josiah is countin' us. So is them kids."

.............

"Well, Mr. Jackson, at last the scenery seems to be yielding a more promising kind of foliage. I presume we just chop one down."

"Which one?"

"Any one."

"Ezra, you don't just chop any tree. You gotta pick the right one."

"One tree looks similar to any other tree. I'm sure that if we stuff the little moppets with enough candy, they'll scarcely notice."

"Then perhaps you'd like that scrawny one over there. I thought you were 'spozed to be such a great judge of fine things."

"When you put it that way, Mr. Jackson...I accept your challenge."

"How about this one? It's perfect."

"And why, pray, do you think so?"

"It's fat. Nice firm needles. Lotsa branches for ornaments and stuff."

"This one is better. That one has bare spots."

"It does not! Where? It's better than that spindly thing you got."

"This tree is not spindly. Need I remind you that I have impeccable taste. In women, in haberdashery, in liquor, and in Christmas trees. This tree is the one. We take that one and the little tots will be crying for Christmas."

"I helped pick out trees for Christmas on the plantation. Folks used ta come from miles around every year just to look at our tree."

"In shock and horror, no doubt."

"You want that tree, you chop it down!"

"There's no need to get nasty, Mr. Jackson. But I am not bringing back that tree. I'd be ashamed."

"Fine with me. I'm not bringing back that tree, either."

"We could draw for it..."

"Put them cards away! I ain't gamblin' with you over the church's Christmas tree!"

"Then we are at an impasse..."

"I guess so."

..........

Ezra? I think we done forgot somethin'."

"Why we came here in the first place?"

"To help the church have a tree-"

"-And not to see who's a better connoisseur of trees."

"Tell you what, then. Let's take your tree. It's nice enough."

"No, Mr. Jackson. Your first instincts were correct. We'll take yours."

"You're the one with the impeccable taste."

"But I defer to your experience."

"Ezra, we're taking your tree and that's that!"

"No, we are not!"

……………

"Wait! I hear somethin'. Who's that?"

"Vin comin' in! And I got JD with me! Nathan, what are you guys still doing here? You shoulda been back hours ago. Josiah was gettin' worried. Sent us to look for ya."

"Mr. Tanner, perhaps you can be of some assistance. We're trying to select a tree."

"You just pick one and...All right. What about that one over there?"

"Vin, I kinda like that one next to it."

"Who asked ya, JD?"

"I don't care if nobody asked me. What do you guys know about trees anyway? Back east they had some beautiful Christmas trees. That one, Ezra."

"Wait just a moment there. What's wrong with either of these two?"

"Well, for one thing..."

END


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