So please turn away, this is your last time to bail.
If you so happen to hear a terrified yell,
Don't worry, it's just my cranky grandpa locked in his cell.
As for those, those who are brave enough,
I commend you because you really must be tough.
Please be careful, the story's pretty rough,
Bear with me, too, I'm just full of stuff.
So, with further ado, bundle up tight,
Lock the doors and turn on the light,
For the wolves howl from afar and the witches take flight,
Into this deep, dark Halloween night!
It was late one Halloween day before the three went trick or treating,
Newt, Corporal Hicks, and Lieutenant Ellen Ripley.
They had just came from a Halloween party when, alas, it started raining.
Newt didn't mind but Ripley sure did a lot of complaining.
After all, the Halloween party wasn't really much,
It was a waste of time, talk and such.
Eating and eating, hearing crunch after crunch,
And her constantly monitoring Hicks from spiking the punch.
So now they left into a deep dark street,
Taking Newt to places to gather up a treat.
Ripley slapped Hicks' hand from attempting to eat,
The candy in Newt's bag while she went off to a beat.
The three wore costumes with a similar alien theme,
Ripley dressed as a little green alien, ready to beam.
And while little Newt wore an ET costume, face full of gleam,
Handsome Hicks dressed as Michael Jackson, causing many to scream.
The hour passed and the moon was colored white as chalk,
It was then that Ripley grew tired, starting to talk.
Newt pleaded, wanting to go to the haunted house of Falk,
And Hicks didn't listen much, instead doing his moonwalk.
'All right, all right,' Ripley began to reply,
'But that's it, Newt, I'm tired and my feet want to die.'
'Relax, Ripley,' said Hicks, 'This is our last try.'
'Okay,' answered Ripley and gave out a loud sigh.
So they traveled and Hicks held his rifle for safekeeping,
He eyed each house carefully, seeking and seeking.
At first, Ripley thought he was still drinking.
But then, she thought, he must be hallucinating.
Dreaming of monstrous aliens, stressing and stressing,
Stressing over danger that wasn't really there but pressing and pressing.
In reality, however, Hicks was not confessing,
That he was simply watching out for women, women undressing.
Another hour passed and the rain continued to pour down,
Ripley looked up at the sky with a heavy frown.
She then adjusted her large alien crown,
If they don't reach this ******* house soon they're going to drown!
To make matters worse, Ripley's feet grew weak,
The costume itched and she felt like a freak.
Her face became drenched, causing her make-up to streak.
She was greatly relieved when Hicks said, 'Hold up, I've gotta take a leak.'
Yet, as Hicks went behind a bush,
An unsettlingly moment came to her with a push.
A cool breeze brushed against Ellen that went whoosh, whoosh, whoosh,
It startled her so much that she landed on her tush.
'You okay?' came Hicks and his soft-like reply,
He soon blushed, however, when he forgot to zip up his fly.
Newt giggled and then looked up at the sky,
Oh, how she wished this night would not go by!
Suddenly, however, she turned and gave a glance,
Her eyes wide open and stuck in a trance,
Newt's mind began to wonder, wonder and dance,
For a few meters away, the House of Falk stood in a stance.
Newt soon whispered, 'I heard of stories, stories about this place.'
'What stories?' inquired Hicks, brushing jelled hair from his face.
He fumbled with his red leather jacket, which became an annoying case,
Hopefully, no one will know he dressed as Michael Jackson back at the base.
'About an old man named Falk,' Newt answered, 'who lived her long ago.'
'He also had a son named Ridley Joe.'
'He was very ticklish, down to his big, fat toe.'
'Laughing and yelling ho, ho, ho.'
'At worked people complained, including their boss and staff,'
'Mainly because Falk and Ridley Joe loved to laugh,'
'There was no stopping them, even in the aftermath.'
'Many vowed that they would one day feel their wrath.'
'Surprisingly enough, they soon died from falling off a steep,'
'The funeral folks gave their family relatives their belongings for them to keep,'
'And then the funeral people came and went to bury them deep.'
'But on Halloween night the neighbors couldn't sleep.'
'They said they could still hear them laughing in the middle of the night,'
'Laughing and laughing, which gave everyone a fright,'
'They screamed and howled from left to right,'
'To everyone, it was such a scary sight.'
Ripley looked at Newt awkwardly, thinking what a strange child she is,
Still, the image of the haunted house was not to be miss,
Its sight was visually terrifying with lifeless trees that seem to kiss,
The growing weeds, corroded wood, and howling of the rain provided an evil bliss.
Newt smiled, however, and though it was wrong,
She opened the gate that creaked, oh, so strong.
Hicks followed, humming Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' song.
Ripley, however, became enraged like King Kong.
'Now, hold on!' she yelled. 'Stay here!'
'But Ripley,' began Hicks, 'There's nothing to fear.'
'I won't let anything happen to you, my precious, wonderful dear,'
'But if you're still scared then you might as well steer clear,'
She was still unconvinced so he added, 'It's just a story,'
'I assure you, it's false and there really isn't anything to worry.'
'Trust me, it's not like the inside of the house is anything gory.'
Ripley wasn't having it though and was about to let go of her fury.
But she acted too late and watched helplessly as the two left her side,
Hicks took Newt's hand and acted as her guide.
Meanwhile, the mere thought of being alone made Ripley want to hide,
Fear within her invoked heavy like a huge tide.
She tried to call out to them but there was nothing she could do,
She suddenly gasped, swearing that someone said 'Boo!'
Hurriedly, she went to catch up the two,
Ripley nearly tripped over her own darn shoe!
Inside the abandoned house was dark and cold,
Ripley grimaced slightly, smelling its mold.
She thought that Hicks and Newt must be very bold,
The house was as ugly and scary just as Newt told.
The walls were dirty and full of decay,
This was the perfect place for ghosts to stay,
Oh, why, of all days, did they have to come here today?
And yet Newt and Hicks didn't mind much and started to play.
The two laughed and ran up the wooden carpet staircase,
'Careful,' warned Ripley and made an awful face,
She glanced and thought this definitely isn't a nice, friendly place.
It is old, torn, and full of mace.
Ripley's words made Hicks and Newt drowse,
The two didn't listen and instead, roamed the empty house,
It was so cool that it sparked curiosity and arouse,
Newt was so excited that she nearly stepped over a mouse!
Up and down the two raced each other,
Ignoring Ripley who acted like their mother,
They heard her complain at one time or another,
Which caused Newt and Hicks to mutter, 'Oh, brother!'
In a hallway located on the second floor,
The two ran in wanting to see more.
They really didn't care that the house was dangerous and poor,
Even when Hicks accidentally fell and moaned from a soar.
In a very scary-looking dark lighted hall,
Both Newt and Hicks noticed old portraits lined on a wall,
Hicks glanced around, searching for a restroom stall,
Suddenly, he heard Newt begin to call,
'Look,' said Newt and pointed, 'That's Falk and Joe!'
'Falk and Joe,' murmured Hicks, 'Well, what do you know.'
This all looked like a story taken from Edgar Allan Poe.
Hicks walked further, desiring to go.
He wasn't scared of anything and took on his own dare,
He soon shouted as loud as a bear,
'Hello, Mr. Ghosts, I warn you to beware!'
'Beware of Ripley's skimpy underwear!'
Just then, Ripley came in, staring at him very mean,
She got in front of his face so that she could be clearly seen,
Hicks blushed and apologized to make himself clean,
But to Ripley he appeared as small as a bean.
'Let's get going,' demanded Ripley, 'We're going to get in trouble.'
'Trouble?' laughed Hicks, 'Oh, that's just a bunch of rubble.'
Ripley replied, 'I want to get out of here so let's make it a double.'
Newt just chewed her gum and made a big, huge bubble.
'I want to go to the attic!' Newt said full of glee,
'Let's go, Hicks! I really want to see!'
'Okay, but just for a second,' Hicks agreed happily.
'No! I want to leave!' said a frustrated Ripley.
Regardless of Ripley's warning it once again fell to deaf ears,
Then again, she was an old woman of fifty-seven years.
Maybe she was the only that held these fears?
In reluctance, she followed, trying hard not to break into tears.
They arrived at the attic, which was filled with spider cobwebs and extremely small,
Ripley almost tripped over a very large basketball,
However, Hicks came to assist and broke her fall,
Ripley cursed, wondering why they couldn't spend Halloween at the mall.
The three pondered about in the attic and searched around,
Newt soon showed a dusty doll she just found,
Ripley shrugged and noticed the dust in the room that had mound.
Then, suddenly, came a disturbing sound.
At first, she thought it was Hicks' stomach grumbling.
'Hey, I just ate,' he began mumbling.
'I've got a bad feeling about this,' Ripley inserted, her voice fumbling,
She started to make her way through the dark, stumbling.
And then, from a great distant she heard a laugh from below,
All three froze, now wanting to go.
Hicks swallowed hard, 'No, it can't be the ghosts of Falk and Ridley Joe.'
'You see?' screamed Ripley, 'I knew this would happen, I told you so!'
The three became silent and stood very still,
Trying to figure out, what's the deal?
The laugh came again, this time in a squeal,
'Surely,' Newt muttered, 'this cannot be real.'
But the only way to be sure was to check the source,
'Let's go together,' Ripley had to force,
The laugh came louder, this time like a horse,
Hicks looked nervously at Ripley, 'Ladies first, of course.'
Ripley gave him an ugly face but soon went,
She later added, 'It could be just the man collecting the rent.'
'But no one's been here for years,' mentioned Newt, 'even if they had to be sent.'
'This house is haunted, vacant,' she soon meant.
Nevertheless, they tracked the path they first came from,
They went down a hallway and once more, the laugh had come,
They stopped again; Newt nervously chewed her gum,
Hicks heaved his heavy weapon, ready to kick some.
He inserted, 'Let's get going before it's too late.'
Ripley agreed, not wanting to wait,
She certainly didn't want this to end in her fate.
'Go first,' Hicks said, secretly using her as bait.
And so, the three resumed walking, faces white as a pearl,
Newt felt her stomach begin to twirl,
And then a breeze of movement came with a whirl,
It made Hicks cling closely to Ripley and scream like a girl!
Suddenly, he didn't feel like a man,
Worse, this scare certainly wasn't good for his tan,
Ripley, Newt, and him soon ran,
Fast and fast, coming straight into the fire from the frying pan.
They abruptly stopped when they discovered a figure dressed as a ghost,
'Man!' Hicks yelled nervously, 'We're busted and toast!'
'I tried to warn you,' Ripley panicked, 'but, no, you had to boast!'
'Hey!” Newt told the adults, 'We're still alive so let's make the most!'
The figure pointed behind them, its eyes locked in a stare
The three gasped as they soon found more ghosts there,
Ripley grew white, even her chopped up hair,
Hicks involuntarily peed on his pants but didn't seem to care.
When the ghosts took off their drapes, the three finally screamed,
They were the monstrous drooling aliens, as it all seemed!
'I thought we'd never see them again,' Ripley steamed,
The aliens approached, their teeth gleamed.
One reached over to the motionless Ripley deciding her fate,
Before she could run it moved its hand behind her and it was too late,
But rather than attack, the alien turned on a radio at a very fast rate,
And then the alien said, 'Let's throw our hands in the air and celebrate!'
Ripley, Newt, and Hicks looked half frightened but grateful as well,
Hicks shrugged his shoulders and with a yell, 'What the hell!'
A ring came from behind, which was the house's bell,
Newt answered it and saw Falk and Ridley Joe, looking good and pale.
'I hope you don't mind if we came along,' they said,
'We brought chips, dip, and even bread!'
'Cool!' Newt said delightfully to the dead,
The two laughed and nodded their head.
And so, they all partied all night long!
They did the Monster Mash and even Ripley, went along!
They laughed while Hicks and Newt sang the Boogey Man song,
None of them cared if the words were completely wrong!
As Hicks lifted Ripley up in the air who weighed over a ton,
Ripley exclaimed happily, 'This is the best party I've been to, hon!'
They laughed again, having a lot of fun,
They screamed to the aliens and ghosts, 'Happy Halloween everyone!
'And now I leave you, my dear good friend,
This story is finally at an end.
Be sure to come back next year, for it's another Halloween to defend,
Keep the spirit alive I sincerely recommend.
Remember this spooky, special night,
It's a special event, so please be careful and do it right,
Check the candy before you take a bite,
And finally remember this tale of... the Halloween Fright!