Sarah looked at him as he sat in his room in the boarding house. This time of year was especially hard on him because he would never know the joys of watching his wife and son growing up. His love for her had been so profound for them that their deaths had nearly crippled him. For years he had gone through the motions. Tonight he merely needed to rest and to allow the grief to consume him.
She had known that his love for her and their son was that great. But she knew that what would be but a moment there would be an eternity here. She couldn't let him suffer. She had managed to bring him to Four Corners and to a woman who would understand his loss.
He slept as the snow drifted down from the sky. She crept into his dreams. She found him dreaming of chasing after Adam. His long legs could have easily out run the boy, but the joy on his face was priceless. Adam had just turned the age of five when he and his mother were murdered. Chris had the task of burying their remains.
This was a task he chose to do for himself. He took the utmost care with each body as he wrapped the charred remains in blankets that he had brought with him. All Buck could do was watch and bear witness to the quiet and solitary ceremony.
All she had wanted to do was to ease his pain by showing him the happy moments of their lives together. Here it was being marred by the reality of it all.
She eased herself out of his mind and decided to visit the woman who knew him better than anyone. She slipped into her dream and saw her nightmare that transformed into gratitude. The man in black has erased her son's demons and found the murderer of her husband.
Much as Sarah loved her husband, she knew it was time for him to move on. He knew that the woman who have saved a black man was the one who could save Chris from destroying himself.
She knew that moving on would help him heal and do the things he was meant to do in this life. It would take time, but he needed to transform into the man she had loved.
She slipped back into his dream and before he went to the place where he found his family, she gave him the picture of them the day before he left. He had made love to her. She knew the secret that he was hoping for. In his dream, she smiled and touched her abdomen, hoping that he would get the hint. He was oblivious as his joy for life and things going well led him to the confidence to leave for only a few days. She left him there and let him sleep without the painful memories.
He woke with a sense of calm and looked out the window. It was slowly growing light. Snow was silently falling making a blanket of white against the town buildings.
He had managed to make a knight for Billy and had painstakingly carved a comb with roses for his mother. He decided today that he would wear a different color shirt. He found a red one for the holiday and put on a black tie. He combed his hair and managed to put on his hat giving just the right amount of fear. But the tilt of his hat didn't hide the smile that he had just for the woman who ran the paper. He caught the glimpse of a woman and small boy rushing about to get warm from the cold. He thought of her for an instant and fingered the comb in his pocket.
He knocked on the door. He saw her smile and felt things go right in the world. In this purity of white were the memories of times past and the memories that were yet to come. His smile matched hers as she handed him a cup.
"Merry Christmas Chris." she said as she shut the door behind him and brought him back to the warmth of her hearth and her heart.