Reviewer: LilacQueen Signed
12 May 2007 12:31 am
Well you had a good beginning for an excellent story. I was looking forward to reading it. The last two paragraphs should come at the end of the entire story and give us the idea of ATF Chris ending up in OW Chris's world for another story as yet written. Between asking what his name was and waking up sweating should be story of OW Chris in ATF Chris's world. It isn't here.
What is here is well written and fascinating but this is clearly unfinished.
Author's Response: Yeah I know it's not done but when you have a school assignment that the maximum words you can use is 450. It's kind of hard to finish, but I am working on it.