14 Jan 2007 8:40 am
Well this is a well written story. There are some major burps and a couple of minor ones. First obsession was after Serpents so Ella hasn't been in town yet. Second Chris doesn't talk like Vin. Mary would not order Chris out of town regardless of the argument. The Judge hired them. The Judge will fire them.
The premise of the story is good. The plot just needed more thought.
Author's Response: Thank you for your advice. Though, the way I saw season 2, Obsession WAS before Serpents. I heard it was the other way around also, but I went by only what I saw. Thank you for reading and the feedback.
Author's Response: Also, this story was only meant to be about the dialogue. Nothing really else. Thanks.