Words Unspoken by Gatekeeper
Summary: The day comes when John has ot send Kyle into the past to portect his mother - and become his father.
Categories: Terminator (Movies) Characters: John Connor, Kyle Reese
Genres: Angst and Drama
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: Scenes From a Forgotten Life
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 879 Read: 4445 Published: 04 Sep 2006 Updated: 04 Sep 2006
Words Unspoken by Gatekeeper
Author's Notes:
And finally, the one where John sends Kyle back. If this is a letdown in any way, I'm truly sorry - I tried to do justice to two that have been with me for so long. (Sniff) Damn it, I'm going to miss them so much.
John knew the universe wouldn't believe him, but he honestly hadn't expected it to be this soon. But, as he watched the Terminator step into the purple glow that would take it more than 40 years into the past, he felt the weight of inevitability settle over him. He was out of time.

The fact that he wasn't ready to let go yet was just too damn bad.

Behind him, his men stared wide-eyed. They had been winning, damn it. Slowly but surely turning the tide against the metal monstrosities. But this... "What are we going to do?" whispered Porter.

"Find a way to stop it." Reese. The only one of them that didn't seem afraid. "Jennett ..."

"No." There was no need to get readings on the thing. His mother's stories had already told him everything he needed to know about it, murmured in the dark as they were holed up in some corner.

And John was in no mood to play nice for the timestream. "It will only accept one person at a time - no clothing or weapons. It lands in the right time and place, feels weird as hell, and there's no way back." And it's going to take my father.

Now his men stared at him wide-eyed. "How..." Pym started to ask, but stopped. It was best not to ask questions with Connor. Besides, the commander still scared the hell out of him.

Then something else scared him. "No way back?"

"No. But someone still needs to go back and protect my mother. Make sure that I get born." There. He'd said it. The order that would save the world. He begged whatever god was paying attention that he wouldn't have to say any more.

There was silence behind him. They knew what they had to do, but it was too much to ask for them to be excited about it. This wasn't a great life, but it was the only life they knew.

Please don't make me have to ask, please don't make me have to ask...

There was a moment of silence.

"I'll go."

Thank you, Dad.

It was almost time.

John turned around, and Reese stepped forward. He searched his father's eyes, looking to see if he had somehow failed him again. But there was only determination, and somewhere in the back a glow of wild hope that he would finally see his beloved Sarah.

And, right beside that, regret. Do you, too, wish we didn't have to end this so soon?

There were so many things he wanted to say, but how were you supposed to have a heart to heart conversation with the man who could never know he was your father? The man who had to go back in time to conceive you, then die? They needed family counselors for these sort of situations.

All they had was seconds.

"You know the mission?" Do you know how good it's been having you in my life?

"Yes, sir."I'll keep her safe, sir. I swear it.

"I don't have to ask if you know what she looks like." She needs you now. The world needs you. I've done painful things before.

"No sir." Thank you for trusting me with this. Trusting me with your life and hers, the... the two most important people in my life.

"Good luck, soldier." You win. Please know that you win.

"Thank you, sir." I'll miss you.

There was another moment of silence, and Reese cleared his throat. "Is there anything you want me to tell her, sir?"

John stared. Did he somehow know? No - that was impossible. It was just Reese, saving his commander's hide yet again. "Sarah," His mother had made him memorize it. Didn't want to change the timestream. "Thank you. For your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face, except to tell you that the future is not set."

Ironic as hell, wasn't it? John didn't know what the other him had been thinking - the future seemed to be set in stone. "There is no such thing as fate, but what we make for ourselves, by our own will. You must be stronger than you imagine you can be. You must survive, or I will never exist."

It was too much. John clapped his father's shoulder, desperate for some form of contact. That damn lump was back, this time threatening to choke him. Reese placed a hand on top of his friend's, smiling slightly in return. They were rare things, Reese's smiles, given only during times of greatest emotion.

A gift that would need to last him years.

Dropping his gun (no weapons could move through the portal, and someone here might need it) Sergeant Tech/Comm Kyle Reese moved toward the glowing gateway and his destiny. John's eyes followed him silently the entire way.

At the last moment, he turned. "It's been an honor, sir." To have been your friend.

John nodded, not trusting himself to much else. "Same here, Sergeant." The pleasure was all mine. I'll miss you, Reese.

He vanished through the portal as destiny took another step through the universe.

No such thing as fate - hah.

He turned. "Everyone fall back."

I love you, Dad.

THE END
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