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The Looniest Dream By Dreamer and Stormhawk.

The long meeting with Travis left Chris with a terrible headache. He lay down on the couch and hoped no one would bother him until the headache went away or it killed him.

“Chris, Do you mind if we keep Daffy in here?” JD asked quietly.

“As long as he is silent.”

JD put the box in the corner of Chris’s office. He thought it was cute that both his boss and the duck were both sleeping. JD quietly shut the door behind him.

Chris was in a deep sleep when he heard a odd noise. Chris opened one eye to see a duck sitting on his chest staring at him.

“About time you woke up,” Daffy said with a lisp.

“Duck off,” Chris shoved the bird away from him.

“C’mon, you got to help me they kidnapped Vin and Bugs,” Daffy yelled as he pulled on Chris’s shirt with both hands, making Chris grimace at the noise.

“Vin, who has Vin?” Chris struggled to sit up and listen to what the duck was saying.

“Slow down,” Chris said trying to calm the duck down.

“I’m not sure but Vin was helping Bugs with his stalker when someone grabbed him. I bet it’s either Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam.”

Chris swore then stood up to assemble the team together.

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Crunch crunch crunch.

That was the first sound Vin heard as he slowly started to regain conscious.

Cracking an eye open he cautiously looked around.

“What’s up Doc?” Bugs asked while offering Vin his carrot.

Vin looked at Bugs then the carrot, and shook his head no. He glanced down and saw that his body was wrapped in Acme chains.

Sighing Vin asked, “Where are we?”

Bugs looked at him and sighed ‘Humans’ he answered while pointing at the sign hanging on the wall “Where in the Bad Guys Hideout.”

Vin looked around for any clues as to where they were besides the Bad Guys Hideout.

“What happened to Daffy?” Vin asked while trying to get comfortable in the chains

‘Daf got away, Doc. He said he was going for help against Elmer, Yosemite and Marvin.” Bugs said watching Vin shift around.

“Great Marvin’s here too?” Vin muttered, wishing he had Ezra’s skill at picking locks.

Vin suddenly grinned, “Daffy went for help? Did he go find Chris?”

“Yeah, Doc.” Bugs finished his carrot and took another out of his pocket.

Vin started laughing. “Hell, Larabee will shoot the feathers off of his…”

“Watch your mouth, Doc. Kids are watching,” Bugs warned.

“Bugs can you get me out of these chains?” Vin asked, “You know before the bad guys come back.”

Sighing Bugs again thought ‘humans’, “Doc, those are made by Acme, stand up and take a deep breath.”

Vin struggled to stand up, finally after five minutes and a lot of heavy breathing. “A little help here.”

“Oh sure, Doc. Why didn’t you say so?” Bugs said as he helped Vin up.

“Now deep breath. There you go.”

Vin watched amazed at the chains shattered and fell to the ground.

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“All right I have it!” JD exclaimed with excitement. “Seems Marvin the Martian, Yosemite Sam, and Elmer Fudd have joined together to destroy Bugs Bunny.”

“That’s Despicable!” Daffy jumped up on Ezra’s chest, grabbed his lapels and screamed. “Despicable, I say.”

Ezra reached in his pocket and took out a handkerchief to wipe the spittle from his face before replying, “Be that as it may where do you suppose they took them?”

JD looked back at his screen, “Says where the bad guys hide out is in a dingy little dinner off of Main street.”

“What are we waiting for? Lets go get our friends.” Chris said and they soon piled into his Dodge.

“Wow, I didn’t know I could get five men and a duck in here.” Chris said as pulled out.

“Quite comfortable, too,” Daffy remarked.

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“OK, so what do you suggest we do?” Vin asked the rabbit.

“I think I will call some buddies of mine to help us out.” Bugs reached into his pocket and pulled out a red London style phone booth. He got in and picked up the receiver.

“Never could stand using cell phones,” Bugs said noticing Vin’s look of astonishment.

Vin stared at the phone booth and the rabbit. He wasn’t sure what to focus on first. Bugs taking a phone booth out of his pocket or the fact that the rabbit was naked.

He was a rabbit. Rabbits do not have pockets in their fur. Mind you Vin didn’t think they carried objects larger then they were either. Vin’s head began to pound.

“All right, they are on the way,” Bugs said noticing Vin looked a little pale.

“Good, I think I need to sit down a moment.” Vin looked for comfortable place to sit down.

I think I have a chair in here somewhere,” Bugs said rooting through his pockets.

Vin head started to feel lightheaded as he watched Bugs empty his pockets. A pile of discarded items were threatening to topple over. So far there was large side of beef, bins full of carrots, iron safe, lion (which started to eat the side of beef), wading pool, canopy bed, and of course a anvil.

“Sorry must of left it in my other pants,” Bugs apologized.

“That’s OK. I will just lie down on this bed.” Vin plopped down on the bed and tried to ignore the sound of chewing coming from the lion. He didn’t even want to think about Bugs Bunny’s other pants and what was in them.

Vin tried to lie down but he was sitting on a package. Unable to resist opening it Vin jumped when a frog jumped out of it.

The frog looked at Vin intently before grabbing a top hat and cane and started to dance and sing, “Hello my darling! Hello My...”

Vin put the box on top of the frog and it hopped away.

“Will this loonie dream ever end?” Vin complained.

“Bugs!” Yacko Warner called out. “How are you? You old Son of a gun, you.”

“Yacko! Wacco!” Bugs cried happily.

“And their sister dot,” Dot added with a curtsey.

“Hello, Nurse!” Dot yelled and jumped on top of Vin giving him a big kiss on the lips.

“Uh, hello. What are you?” Vin asked just before Elmer Fudd, Marvin the Martian and Yosemite Sam walked in.

“Oh its you! Will you be my Daddy?” Yacco jumped into Elmer Fudd’s arms who just made an odd sound like a record being stuck on one spot.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” Yacko hugged Elmer enthusiastically who just turned pale. “Wacko, come meet my new Daddy!”

“Oh well then. Will you be my Daddy?” Wacko jumped into Marvin’s arms.

“Step away strange earth creature I have business to discuss with Bugs,” Marvin shoved Wacko away rudely causing Wacko to get mad.

“You shouldn’t of done that,” Dot said in a sing song voice.

“Silence!” Marvin aimed his death ray at her but it had no effect.

Leaning in sideways Wacko whispered behind his hand, “In a previous episode we annoyed death to death so now we are immortal!”

“Dang it all, I had enough of you earth creatures! I am going home where I am appreciated.” Marvin stomped off furiously.

“One down two to go,”

“Ain’t gonna get rid of me so easily. I am Yosemite Sam.” To emphasize his point he started to shoot up the air around him.

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At this point Chris pulls up in his pick up and is stunned to find he is now in standard gunslinger apparel. Complete with black duster and gun belt.

“Weren’t you wearing a suit and tie? When did you have time to change?” Josiah asked.

“Where do you think the bad guys hideout is?” JD asked.

“I would say under that neon sigh with an arrow saying ‘bad guys hide out here,” Ezra said smoothly.

“Oh yeah right.” JD muttered.

Chris just shrugged and began walking towards the bad guys hideout. He stopped walking and looked down at his feet. It sounded like he was wearing spurs when he walked. Only he wasn’t wearing any. He lifted his foot and sure enough the sound of spurs jingling could be heard.

“Where is that music coming from?” Nathan asked hearing the ominous music begin to play.

“Watch out for the tumble weed,” Ezra warned as one rolled by.

“Denver has tumble weeds?” Buck inquired.

“It is five thirty. Why does the sun look like it is high noon?” JD asked.

“Hey, it is almost like a show down from a spagetti western,” Buck told them.

“Why do they call them spagetti westerns?” JD asked.

“Well, kid...” Buck answer was lost as they heard the sound of gunfire coming from the hideout.

7777777 They rushed into the building to find that one of Yosemite’s stay bullets had hit Elmer in the head. He was now lying on the ground kicking his feet in the air and making weird noises as smoke came out of his ears.

Suddenly his bald head opens up and two mice stumble out coughing and choking on the smoke.

“Curses Pinky, Another fine plan gone up in smoke,” Brain said as soon as he could breathe again.

“What are we going to do tomorrow, Brain?” Pinky asked as they walked away.

“The same thing we do every night...” Brain said before he was to far away for anyone to hear him.

“That was most peculiar,” Ezra stated.

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Dot seeing Buck for the first time fell for his animal? Toon? magnetism.

Looking at Vin she said, “Sorry handsome, but its time for me to move on. Be brave my love, you will survive.” With that she hurled herself into Bucks arms. Much to Vin’s relief.

“Helllllllllllllooooooooo nurse!!” she said just be for she laid a kiss on him.

Buck confused as to what exactly was kissing him, gently pulled her back gave her a good look, grinned and said “Hello...Uh...darlin” Not really sure what she is.

Dot swooned at Bucks feet, she looked up to JD and said, “Isn’t he dreamy.”

“Sure,” JD said with a odd laugh.

“Come on, Buck. We are here to save Vin and Bugs, not pick up... um girls?” JD said while watching Dot pull out a huge jar of glue and smear it on Buck, she then preceded to jump back into his arms.

Dot looked at JD dreamily and sighed, “I’m stuck on him.”

“JD, some help here.” Buck begged.

“Dang it, Buck, you and your magnetism knew ya would get us into trouble with it one day.” JD said, as he grabbed a hold of Dot and pulled, the glue stretched way out, JD lost his grip on Dot and she went flying back into Buck knocking him into Foghorn Leg Horn.

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“I say now, son now watch where ya going,” Foghorn said, as the drink he was holding flew all over Josiah.

Josiah looked at Foghorn.

“I say there, son I apologize for the mess,” Foghorn paused before adding. “Do you, I say do you have any idea what’s happening here.”

“Well, you see Foghorn, brother Chris there is having a strange dream, and all of us are involved in it.” Josiah answered while pointing at Chris.

“I see.” Foghorn replied. “Is this normal?”

“Nothing is ever normal since we teamed up.” Josiah paused as they watched Buck try to pry Dot off of him.”

Foghorn watched Buck with interest, “I say, that there boy looks awfully familiar.

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Foghorn Leghorn cautiously approached a struggling Buck.

“Let me ask ya something there, son?” Foghorn said.

Buck glanced at him, while trying to pull Dot off of him.

Dot sighed, “Your wonderful.”

“Go ahead and ask, and maybe could ya give me a hand?”

“I say is your mother Betty Boop?” Foghorn tried to pry Dot away but was to distracted to be much help.

Buck looked at Foghorn, he hesitated “Yes she is but no one…” he never finished, as he was caught in a hug from Foghorn Leghorn.

“Boy, I am your daddy.” Foghorn declared.

Buck paled, gulped and preceded to faint.

“Hi, I’m Dot. I’m going to marry this one,” Dot said to the large rooster who was also stuck to Buck.

“Well I say little lady! Its a pleasure to meet you. A pleasure, I say!” Foghorn Leghorn greeted his future daughter in-law warmly.


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Vin was about to get up and join his friends when the lion jumped up on the bed. Vin was even more concerned when it decided to use Vin’s legs as a pillow.

“Hey there! Snagglepuss here and I don’t know why, even,” The lion said in a deep baritone voice with a drawl.

“You were in Bugs bunny’s pocket,” Vin reminded him.

“Yeah, I know but I am not even a WB cartoon. I’m like from Hanna Barbara, even,” The lion looked up at Vin. “Is there even any point to me being in this story at all?”

“Uh, I guess not. Maybe the writers couldn’t remember if WB had a lion cartoon.” Vin believed this was the weirdest conversation he ever had.

“Yeah, there is Pete Puma but no one even remembers who he is,” Snagglepuss said.

“Yeah, I have no idea who that is,” Vin admitted.

“Odd sort of fellow. Sounds like he is having a asthma attack, even. Well, if I am not needed think I will exit stage left before Bugs puts me back in his pocket.” With that the lion got up to leave.

“Good idea,” Vin said hoping Chris would wake up soon. Chris’s subconscious was very strange.

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Vin got up just in time to hear Yosemite Sam call Chris Larabee out.

“You and I have a score to settle,” Yosemite Sam Bellowed.

“Bring it on,” Chris said as the two walked out in the street.

As the man and Toon stood in the street Yacco and Wacco set up a bleacher and started handing out popcorn and bottles of Vanilla coke.

“This dream is brought to you by your friends at Coca-Cola. Don’t forget to try the flavor vanilla next time,” Yacco said to the camera with a huge fake smile that sparkled in the light.

Chris barely noticed the huge banner that suddenly appeared out of no where with his name on it. He was so focused that neither the cheerleaders or the Marching band caught his attention.

“All right, Varmint. It is time to make your maker,” Yosemite Sam said.

“You got that wrong. It is time to meet yours.” Chris and Yosemite Sam stood back to back and walked ten paces.

Even though Yosemite Sam cheated and turned around first he still wound up with six holes in his chest.

“You shot me!” Yelled Yosemite Sam as he stole a coke from Yacco’s cart. He tipped his head and coke poured out of his holes as he drank.

“Excuse me, Yosemite Sam. I have someone here you would like to meet.” Wacco brought a man foreword who offered his hand to Yosemite.

“Hello, I am your maker,” The Man said offering his hand. “It was a pleasure to draw you.”

“Of course it is I am Yosemite Sam!” Again he takes out his guns and the force of the discharge makes him fly in the air.

Chris moaned as the sound seemed to echo through his head.

“Will someone take Yosemite Sam’s guns away? He’s giving me a damn head ache!” Chris moaned and tried to sit up.

Shocked to find himself lying on the ground with Daffy sitting on his chest looking worried. “Its going to be OK. Don’t you worry.”

“Someone get this man a doctor!” Daffy yelled.

“Nah, What’s up, Doc?” Bugs said wearing a doctors visor and eating a carrot.

“Can’t you see the man is dying! Are you blind, man?”

Bugs looks over to the camera and points his thumb at Daffy. “What a ham.”

Bugs looks at the wound in Chris’s head and steps back. “This is serious! Why didn’t you say so?”

Bugs dug through his bag and various objects piled up behind him. Vin didn’t even want to acknowledge that he pulled out a horse wearing a gun belt and ignored him when he started talking to him.

“Damn, Chris you can wake up now,” Vin muttered under his breath as his headache got worse.

“Well how rude!” Quick Draw McGraw snapped before stomping off.

“Hey you,” Bugs called to Yosemite Sam’s maker. “Can I have that pencil?”

“Why certainly.” He handed over the brand new pencil with an eraser on top.

“Thanks, Doc.” Bugs went to work erasing the blood coming out of Chris’s head and finally erased the wound. “Luckily it was just a cartoon bullet.”

Chris felt his head and found that the wound was gone. “Thanks.”

“You’re OK?” Daffy hugged Chris and started to quack incoherently.

“I can’t understand you. Talk slower,”

“Who are you talking to, Chris?” Vin asked seeing JD’s pet duck had escaped his cage and was sitting on Chris Larabee’s chest. “Are you asking the duck to talk slower?

“Daffy...” Chris looked around the room and realized he had been dreaming.

“If you two would like to...um...chat in private I can leave.”

“Vin if you breathe on word of this,” Chris threatened.

“What,” Vin dared.

“You can go Duck yourself.” Chris warned.

“Such language,” Vin mocked.

“Shut up and help me get this Duck off me,” Chris ordered.

“Bossy isn’t he?” Vin said as he picked the duck up and put him in his cage. “He left you a little present on your shirt.”

“Aw Duck!” Chris swore.

“Must have been some dream. Yosemite Sam?”

“Vin, Get the duck out of here!” Chris said before removing his soiled shirt.