Beware Buck's Temper by Anne Tolar

"What the hell happened to you, Chris. You're beat to a pulp."

Chris pulled up sluggishly on the emergency room table, looking ragged and completely battered. He puked in the basin on the table beside him, then braced the mound of tape holding his ribs together. "Buck...that son-of-a...gun. Ohhhhhhh."

"Exactly what did you do, Pard."

"ME? What did I do? I guess I made him mad. Vin...Don't ever make that man MAD! Ohhhhh."

"You just tell me exactly what you did...so I can avoid doing the same. Here, put this ice bag on your eyes, and here's another one for that shoulder. Is that broke or just out of socket? You even get in one punch?"

"Didn't get a chance. He just walked up and started wailing on me. I think he broke all my ribs and my nose! Damn, my gut hurts. Ohhhhhh."

"Lucky you can still see, Pard. Now, give! What did you do? Buck's your friend...what you did had to be really stupid. Stupid. How stupid were you?"

"I don't exactly know. I was just standing there, talking to Meredith Avery."

"Avery? The blonde Buck was dating last week? The one on his arm at his birthday party? The one dripping off him? The one he's planning to take home?.. The one you sort of told him was a good-for-nothing, low class bitch of a whore that's gonna give him a nasty disease?"

"Did I really say all that?"

"Did. To his face, right after you finished the third double shot of Mescal. You's polluted enough to be stupid."

"Ah, hell. I don't remember."

"That's Mescal for you. Were you talking to her, or dating her last night?"

"I DON'T DATE A WOMAN LIKE THAT! HELL, VIN, I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN! I WAS JUST STANDING THERE, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, WAITING FOR ADAM SO WE COULD GO GET A BITE OF DINNER...SHE CAME UP TO ME...MAKING A BUSINESS PROPOSAL...A PITCH FOR SERVICES..BUCK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COMING TO DINNER, TOO, BUR AFTER HE SAW HER, I SURE DIDN'T GET ANY DINNER!"

A highly contrite Buck had entered the cubicle, all knuckles tightly bandaged.. "Chris, you weren't dating Meredith? Stud, I'm sorry."

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU LUNATIC!".

"After what you said about her, I saw you laughing with her and I thought you were just downing her to me so you could get her for yourself!"

"You didn't think too much if you thought I was standing out in the open air prospecting for a hooker while I's waiting for my son. Wouldn't happen, Buck. Not in a MILLION years. I don't even think that'd happen to you."

"Probably would happen to Buck. It'll be okay, Pard. I done sent Adam home."

"AAHH, HELL, VIN. That's not gonna help ANYTHING! If I don't get home REAL FAST, Adam's gonna tell Terri what happened, including me talking to a streetwalker, and she'll jump to some real bad conclusions. By the time she sees me, she'll be loaded for bear. She'll have needles in every pocket. I'm going to have to avoid her for about a month...and I didn't DO ANYTHING! Ohhhhhh! Buck, did you have to break up EVERYTHING?"

"I just wish there was something I could do to make it up to you, Stud."

"Well, since you had to bang me up so dang much, you can just explain this whole mess to Terri."

"You're kiddin', right?"

"No. I'm beat to pieces now...it's your turn with Terri. Get me out of this mess."

"But, hell, Stud...she's gonna give me no tellin' what. She loves you, but she barely likes me. I'm gonna be dead!"

"Better you than me. I didn't start it, I didn't take the first swing, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! And, for now, you've got to get me home. Vin'll bring your truck, you've got to drive my Jag. What am I saying. Vin drives the Jag...you bring your truck. I'd like to get home with my car in one piece, even if I'm not."

"Hell, Chris...don't you start downin' my driving skills. I'M A DAMN GOOD DRIVER!" Buck pulled up tall, eyes snapping, fists clinched.

"UH-OH! And you're still a lunatic, too. Vin, keep this piece of ... keep him away from me."

"Why you! You DID start this mess. You deserved every bit of what you got. She was gonna belong to me!"

"Hell, she belongs to half the town, you fool, and she's damn expensive to boot!"

"Chris...don't say nothing else stupid."

"Did I actually say that, Vin?"

"You did...how do you know how much she costs?"

"She was quoting particulars last night. Cheapest trick was $250...Hell, boys...if I say THAT to Terri, make sure I'm really completely dead before you let her bury me."

"Must be those shots kicking in. You're getting plain stupid, Stupid."

"Make sure everybody knows it's not mescal!"

"Well, let's get you home." Vin helped wrap his coat over his shoulders.

"Yeah, get him home before he says anything else that makes me mad."

"Buck, you try to hit him again, you're gonna have to go for me."

"YOU THINK YOU CAN BEGIN TO TAKE ME, YOU LITTLE APACHE?"

"Shut up, Vin. He's about to blow again, and I don't want him getting us confused. I didn't do ANYTHING this time either."

"Sure you didn't Chris. Let's just get your Jag and get you home. We'll just have to see how it goes with Terri. I wish the both of you luck. Me...I ought to be home free. I wasn't involved at all."

"Right, Vin...and you haven't been here tonight...and you didn't let me drink the mescal the other night so Buck wouldn't get so mad. Right?"

"What's that got to do..."

"See...it's been totally your fault. Let's ride."

"But Chris..?"

THE END