Chris' Women by the poet

Chris read the telegram handed to him by Mary turned pale, and nearly fell over the chair. He would have, if Vin hadn't grabbed his arm and steadied the man.

“What is it Cowboy? You look like you seen an apparition of somethin'” the tracker said.

“Apparition? You been playing too much poker with Ezra lately to use those kind of words. Maybe I should find more things for you to do.” Chris said as he regained his footing and composure while Buck went and grabbed the telegram from his hand.

“Must be something important for you to have turned color” Buck said as he read the telegram before Chris had a chance to snatch it back. “I think the Larabee Gang will be downright thrilled to hear this news” he added with a smile.

“Buck give it back and you best not tell her about no such 'gang' you understand me?” Chris said as he snatched back the paper.

Vin smiled at the wicked gleam he saw in the tall man's eyes. “What is it yer not supposed to talk about to who? What gang?” Vin said innocently as Ezra got into the act.

“To whom dear boy and who is the lady in question?” Ezra added as he approached to get in on the fun.

Their fearless leader of the Larabee Gang put his head in his hands and stumbled into the chair. Mary looked confused and concerned as the others started giggling like schoolgirls.

“This can't be happening” he said in barely a whisper.

“What Chris? What's in the telegram?” Mary said as she knelt by the chair to see his green eyes from under the brim of his black hat. He merely looked at her and the others and moaned.

Buck grinned from ear to ear as he looked at Mary. “There's nothing for you to be fretting over Miz Travis. It's just that - “ but before he could finish was interrupted by their fearless leader.

“Buck! I'll tell her and if you say one derogatory word -” Chris said as he stood up and helped Mary get back to her feet.

“Me? I have the highest regards for mothers. Oops. Sorry bout that Stud” Buck said with another grin.

Chris gave the now famous Larabee glare at the former lawman. It was a glare that spoke volumes as he walked away. It brought stern faces to the present members: that is until he was two buildings away. Then the giggles resumed.

“Give, what's his mother like?” Ezra asked.

“You know his fear of cats? Multiply that times 10. He may have honored and respected his father, but his mother? I hear tell she could teach God a few lessons...” Buck said in awe.

Two days later...

Chris stood in the shade of the overhang. He was dressed in his usual black, but wore a white shirt and black tie. He paced back and forth as Vin sat in a chair with his feet on the rail. Chris pushed them off with a glare and saw the expression come back at him.

“Yer wired tighter than a broken watch” Tanner said as he sat upright in the chair.

“A broken watch don't have a wound up spring Tanner” Chris said as he clasped his hands tight enough to show the white of his knuckles.

“That's my point, you're strung way too tight” Vin said. “She's your ma for cryin' out loud, you should be glad to see her. I wish - “ but was interrupted by Chris.

“You don't know her Tanner. It takes someone strong and special to marry a lawman and raise four children. She may know what I've been up to, but we haven't seen each other in over eight years...” Chris said as he wiped a hand over his face.

“Don't tell me you're afraid of her...” Vin said as he stood beside his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You were never blessed with meeting such a woman and now I am afraid that you will be graced by such a presence.” he said as he shrugged and saw the coach approaching.

Other passengers got off the coach as he waited with baited breath for the arrival of Virginia Larabee. She was a petite woman in her late 50's no more than that. She had the deepest green eyes Vin had ever seen, She wore cowboy boots and a wide brimmed black hat that showed just a hint of grey hair at her temples. Chris stood ready and waiting.

She got down unassisted from the coach and looked up at Chris.

“Christian” she said as she looked into the eyes of her son.

“Mother, I'd Like you to meet one of my associates Vin Tanner” Chris said while taking her hand and assisting her to the boardwalk.

“He was the only one brave enough of the 'Larabee Gang' to greet me?” she replied.

“Or stupid enough” Vin said under his breath now realizing the reason why no one else was present when the coach arrived “Look young man, just because I am old does not mean I am deaf. Despite your appearance, I would like to think that you are the kind of man my son would associate with.” she said as Chris gave an apologetic shrug and walked with the woman having taken her hand in his arm.

Damn the woman has sharp ears, he thought.

Watch your tongue, she thought to him as she walked with her son. Vin was surprised that she could communicate through the link that he thought he shared only with Chris.

Tried to warn you, Chris thought to Vin as he walked with his mother to the hotel.

That you did Cowboy, as he felt the man being lambasted through the link and managed to shut it down to a whisper. He felt sorry for him if this was the way it had been from the beginning.

Chris continued to walk down the street where he had made arrangements for his mother to stay at the hotel. He knew the journey was long from Indiana and that she would want to freshen up before meeting the rest of his friends. So much for his hiding the 'Larabee Gang' from his mother. He should have known the deception wouldn't last for long.

Once he left her alone, he went to the nearest saloon. Inez got the bottle out from underneath the counter, but saw him shake his head. “Sarsaparilla” he said as he put his hands on the counter. He undid the tie and looked into the dark amber liquid as Buck stood next to him and smiled.

“She's here I take it” the tall man said as he ordered a beer.

Chris only nodded as he looked longingly at the foam that topped the amber liquid of his friend's drink.

“Why after all this time you think she's checking up on you?” he said as he took a sip of the drink in front of him.

“You make it sound as if she hasn't kept tabs on me. We've kept in touch despite what you may think.” he said as he took a sip of his sarsaparilla. He winced at the sweetness of it and placed it down with a grimace. He remembered it taking nearly a year to write to his mother of the deaths of Sarah and Adam. It took him that long before he could write her name without the tears falling. He had no real way of even beginning to explain the reasons behind their deaths, like he could find any himself. When he found out the woman behind it was someone his mother had warned him against, it made the situation all the more poignant.

He was glad to see her after all these years. He was touched to know that she had finally sought him out, and was probably glad that he had stayed in a place long enough to find him alive and in one piece. But still, she was more fragile than he remembered and it belied a strength that he knew she had from all the years of being married to his father. Her small stature was in sharp contrast to the grit that came from years of being a lawman's wife. She had managed to raise four children while never knowing if her husband would come through the door or a telegram. No wonder his father had been insistent on telling him not to become a lawman. It was bad enough that his older brothers had decided to follow in the footsteps of their father.

Now he found himself in the position of being just that. Considering what he had become after his family's death...

He drained the last of his drink and went back to the hotel. He was surprised to learn from the desk clerk that she had barely rested. He walked down the boardwalk and saw Mary and his mother laughing like schoolgirls. He smiled and realized how much he had missed the sound of her laughter. She normally laughed when his father was around. It was never often enough to suit him. When his brothers joined him as deputies, the laughter faded. His mother looked at him. I approve, she is a lovely woman, she thought to her son. He knew the look without having to read her thoughts.

I am still in love with Sarah and she still loves Steven, he sent back through the link. He then 'heard' his mother use a word she would never say aloud and stood there with a look of disbelief. She merely laughed harder as she did not want Mary to know of the connection.

“Your mother is a gem. I am so glad I finally got to meet you Mrs. Larabee” Mary said as she looked at her and then at Chris.

“I see why Chris has settled down in Four Corners.” the woman said as she noticed the slight look of consternation in her son's eye while he proffered the elbow to lead his mother away. At first it looked as though she wouldn't concede, but she took a closer look at her son and acquiesced. Let's ride out to your shack as Vin called it. Get me a horse to ride.

Chris shook his head 'no' but noticed Vin walking up to them with Peso and Pony in tow. “Mrs. Larabee I'd be honored if you took my horse out to the shack where Chris lives. I don't think Peso would dare attempt to dismount such a lady as yourself.” Vin said as Chris' jaw dropped opened in shock. Don't get riled up, Cowboy, you knew it was bound to happen. She just beat me to the punch.

Chris and his mother rode out to the shack that he had built with his own two hands. She noticed places that needed work and where he attempted even now to clean up.

Chris you and I never needed the spoken word. I feel you even now. She walked out to the porch where he proffered the chair and put a hand on the post looking at the sky. He avoided looking at her and looked heavenward fighting off the grief he could no longer hide.

“I still feel her in the night. I can barely remember Adam, and that kills me.” Chris said aloud.

His mother got up and went to his side. She barely came to his chest and as he felt her embrace. The tears came unbidden and he went weak at the knees. He slid down the post and she held him to her chest as he wept. She ran her fingers through his hair. “There there sweet boy. You know that they are with God. I'm just glad He hasn't taken you from me despite your penchant for self destruction” she said as she felt him hold her all the harder.

He was grateful to have her there and had not allowed himself to grieve like this since the day he buried what was left of their charred remains. He felt her stroke her hair and realized that the reason she had come was because he needed to let go and the only way was by acknowledging the grief. He looked up at his mother and saw the tears in her eyes as she stroked her hair.

I'm sorry Mother. He thought as he felt her in his mind.

There is nothing to forgive. I will always love you and know when you need me. I will always be there. she thought through the link they had shared since he was a child. She went down and knelt beside him as the tears finally abated.

Chris felt her as she knelt and finally accepted her help as he realized just how much he had shut himself off. He became the leader of the men that she knew he was meant to be. He had led men during the war, but that was before he married Sarah. Now he had the strength to do it once more, but she had sensed his pain and knew that it was time for him to move on. She just knew that he needed a nudge to get things going.

She had heard through her sons about the ordeal of Rafe. She was tempted to go to him then, but knew the time wasn't right. Much as she wanted to go to him, it would only cause him more worry. He would have been blinded over his concern for her. Of all her children, he was a lawman deep in his bones and she knew it. Her instincts told her as much. The link she shared with him was like the link she had with her father. That was why she had insisted on naming him Christian. It was the least she could do when she was blessed with another son.

He had lived long enough to teach the boy the ways of survival. But what she shared with her father was not shared between grandfather and grandson. She wondered if Eileen would have the same connection if she would have children. Now was not the time to think of it. Now was the time to be with her boy.

Thank you Mother, he thought through the link as she kissed his cheek and got up to find the coffee. He sat there letting the tears dry and felt her in his mind.

She's a good woman and that boy of hers needs a father. You need to move on, she told him.

"Mother she told me I am a bad element and when I lost Sarah and Adam, I made too many enemies. I'm no good for her," he replied. He heard her use the word she used earlier in his mind and smiled despite the need to hold his head in his hands. He smelled the coffee brewing and grabbed the post for support as he got up to go in and get the cups.

“Mother we can talk like normal people you know” he said as he offered her a chair and poured the coffee. He took a sip and laughed. Now he knew why he liked Vin's coffee. It had been too long.

Normal? Since when have you been normal? There are things that cannot be spoken aloud and well you know it. This tracker Vin can sense me like you. His mother died young didn't she, she said in the link.

“He was five and was tossed about. He's wanted for murder in Texas” Chris said aloud.

“An obvious frame” she said as he looked at her with shock.

“Mother your voice is music to my ears” he replied.

Beats that damn harmonica. Poor boy can't play a note, she responded.

How did you know about?...forget it. He got up and walked to the doorway.

“Well he's got a mother now. And before you say anything about Nettie Wells, I'll have to meet the woman before I leave and make sure that she understands” She said aloud.

“Mother do you plan on adopting the rest of the men I work with?” Chris said with an exasperated sigh.

Depends on who needs mending, and from what you're not saying I can tell they could all use a touch of the Larabee magic, she added as she looked at the sunset with her son. As the colors changed into various shades of pink and lavender, she sipped her coffee and remembered. She was thrust back into time.

She was back in Indiana. Tom was by her side and they were newly married. He carried her over the threshold as she laughed. She had no inkling what she was getting into when she married a lawman, but when he kissed her that first time, she knew. She knew that it was either marry him or go as far away as possible. She saw the look in his eyes and knew she was done for. He could no more let go, than he could give up breathing. She got pregnant on their wedding night and he was thrilled, but frightened. She was small and as her belly grew the strain showed, but she had come from strong stock. When John came into the world, she was alone. Tom showed up a day later and saw her bending over the kettle in the fireplace while the baby was in the cradle with the eagle overhead. The cradle was made by his hands during the small hours of the morning. He held the boy in his arms and kissed the nape of her neck. She leaned into him. She felt the tears fall from his eyes and shared the tears of joy. She opened her blouse to feed the now wailing infant.

“Yours is in the kettle” she said as she fed the quieting babe. He came closer and kissed her. She laughed. “This is how we got in this mess to begin with” she added as she adjusted the baby and kissed him back with as much fervor as he had. She took the baby back to the cradle and smiled as he gave her a plate of food. The cradle would hold another two years later.

"Mother are you alright?" Chris asked.

"I was remembering your father." she responded.

Does the ache ever go away?, he asked.

No darling, that's why they call it heartache. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but she knows of your pain, and I know you care for her.

She's still out there and I can't risk losing someone like that again., he 'said' in defeat referring to Ella.

Can you bear it if she finds someone else? She will you know, she's a beautiful woman, and you can see it from within. Oh Christian, you've fallen for her already, she knew in her heart that was true.

Chris put a hand up to comb back his hair and felt the blush rise to his cheeks.

“You have to tell her” she said aloud.

“She knows Mother. She's known for some time” he said. There are some things you have to hide even from your own mother. “Ella is still out there. Ella and God knows who else that have my name on a list. The boys can take care of themselves, but her? She's already taken her once and doesn't remember it, thank God. But if it should happen again...” he added shaking his head with tears in his eyes.

She is stronger than you think. You've known that from the first day. You don't give her enough credit. She's fought for you tooth and nail. Don't wait too long.

Chris got up and found the fixings for supper. By now the moon had started to shine and he knew he would give this woman anything. He opted for giving her his bed and set up the bedroll at the foot of it. By the time all the things were situated, the food was hot and she was surprised. He could cook better than she.

“I heard that” he said and started to laugh. If he were to marry Mary, he would have to teach her a thing or two about cooking.

"Now Chris, you never complained about my cooking before," she admonished him.

"You never complimented mine like you did just now," he replied.

They ate and he left while she dressed for bed. He had laid out one of his longer shirts for her. Propriety was of the utmost when it came to giving his mother the space she needed. He saw her blow out the lamp by the bed and as was his custom in situations like this, merely undid his gun belt and loosened his shirt.

Barely a word was spoken until morning. When he woke it was to the aroma of coffee. She had made oatmeal and for once the link was silent. She tidied up while he saddled the horses.

I'm quite happy with Peso thank you.

“You sit a mite better than Vin does on that animal.”, he said as he assisted her.

“We have an understanding. I'm surprised he lets Vin ride him at all” she said as they rode into town.

“I think he likes the challenge” Chris said as the town came into sight.

Who? The horse or Vin?, she responded through the link.

She smiled at the thought and saw him approach. He gave me no trouble, he was as gentle as a kitten. She shook her head in disbelief at the thought of what the Widow Stacy had done to her son. She handed the reins to Vin and dismounted. She then saw a petite woman walking toward her.

“Chris” she acknowledged. “Is this your Ma?” she asked as Nettie Wells sized up the competition for Vin.

Well at least she can watch out for him while I'm not here. she told her son.

I beg your pardon, I've known the boy a damn site longer than you have and at least I didn't wait 8 years... Nettie thought.

Chris saw his mother stare at the woman and wondered if they had a link that was different from that of him and his mother. He felt as if he were watching two hellcats stalking each other and waiting to see who would make the first move.

He decided he'd rather not see the outcome and took Vin's arm as he steered him away to leave them alone to settle their differences. The two of them sat in the corner with a bottle of sarsaparilla, when sometime later he heard his mother's laughter once more.

Nettie Wells and Virginia Larabee went to the bar where a stunned Inez stood with her mouth open as she heard them both say in unison “Whiskey” Chris and Vin sat in the corner relieved as the women walked over to where the two of them were sitting.

“Sarsaparilla? Why that's a drink for children” Virginia said aloud as she clinked glasses with Nettie as they smiled at each other and then at the men seated at the table.

Chris merely nodded as he offered a seat to his mother and saw Vin do likewise for Nettie. He proceeded to get a bottle hidden behind the counter from Inez. He was glad the bar was nearly deserted and proceeded to pour generous amounts into the four glasses on the table.

Sometime later, the bottle was nearly empty as both men were treated to stories of the women's childhoods. Vin got shakily to his feet and saw Nettie and Virginia laughing. He looked at Chris who hadn't been this relaxed in years. He patted the man on the shoulder as Nettie grabbed his arm and led him out the door. He tipped his hat to Virginia as he felt a tug on his sleeve.

Chris shook his head as he got up from the table and helped his mother with the proffered arm. As they walked to the hotel, he nodded. I have two mothers now, he said through the link.

I know that you can take care of yourself, but Vin still has a sense of innocence...

Chris laughed aloud. Inez would love that., he thought and for once realized he had left his mother speechless.

He walked her toward the hotel and kissed her on the cheek. He laughed and shook his head as he saw Mary. He took the chance and stepped into the Clarion with her in tow. He kissed her and took a moment to inhale her scent. He regretfully let go, knowing that he better be on his best behavior while his mother was still within 'earshot'.

“You don't give yourself enough credit Chris. She's proud of you. She worries but she is still proud” she said as he held her close.

“Goodnight, Mary” he said as he opened the door. He knew that if he looked back, she would be there waiting for him and that he would linger. He shook his head and thought of his mother in the hotel. That prevented him from turning back.

He went into the boarding house and unlocked his door. There he saw Muzika asleep on his bed. He laughed again as he rid himself of his clothes. He managed to get under the covers without disturbing her. He noticed Muzette under the bed and shook his head as he thought of all the women in his life. So long a she doesn't have a brood of her own on my bed, he told himself as sleep beckoned.

Good night, son. You're lucky to have us, he felt through the link.

Mother, let me sleep, he said as his head hit the pillow. He could barely feel the rest of her words as the exhaustion took him. He dreamt sweet memories of Sarah and then of Mary in his arms. He realized he was laughing more since his mother had come to see him. He hadn't realized just how much he missed it.

In the following days, she met the rest of the 'Gang' and decided that each one needed her in some way. Even Josiah, who took an instant liking to her in ways he considered a bit too friendly, found her appealing and invited her to look at the church. Chris didn't 'hear' from her for some time after that. At first that unnerved him, but then he recalled how much she loved his father. If it was one tenth of what he felt for Sarah...

A few days later she left the same way she came. The black hat was placed securely on her head and she gave the famous Larabee glare to all of the 'Larabee Gang' smiling briefly before the coach road out. The men went to the saloon to drink a toast to their adopted mother and honorary member. Nothing had occurred to warrant any bloodshed during her visit. Chris knew that nothing would dare happen during a visit from the woman who could teach God some lessons.

Days later Chris was in his rented room. He found a photo of his mother and father. He wondered where it had come from. Most of his possessions had been lost in the fire that had taken Sarah and Adam. He wondered if she had anything to do with it. He picked up the frame and noticed something hidden beneath. He lifted the photo and saw beneath it a lock of hair and a picture. It was a family portrait. At first he thought it was of his family that had died in the fire. He blinked the tears away and held it closer to the light. He then saw the image of his mother and father holding him. The lock of hair was his. He dropped the frame and it broke in two. The tears came as he fell to his knees. He was caught between two memories. One was that of Sarah and Adam; the other was that of his mother laughing as she was held by his father. He was oblivious to the knock on the door.

The door opened, and in walked Josiah. Chris looked at him as he showed Josiah the photos.

“At first when I saw the one hidden beneath, I thought it was me and Sarah with Adam. She must have put the photo in while I was tending to business. Did she love my father the same way I love her?” Chris asked.

“What makes you think she ever stopped? I won't take his place Chris. All I'll do is try to comfort her in a way you can't” he said as Chris sat on the bed while holding his head in his hand.

“What you shared is something most people only dream of and most would envy”Josiah added.

“It's hell without her, but I wouldn't have traded a single moment...” Chris said as Josiah sat beside him.

“Keep the memories and know that she and Adam are with you still. What is like an eternity here is but a moment there” Josiah said as he placed an arm around his friend.

Chris only nodded and felt a tear fall. He wiped his face with his hands, scrubbing away at the grief overwhelmed him. He accepted the comfort from the preacher.

Then he remembered Sarah. He remembered her in so many different ways. The memories lingered
and he smiled. Josiah patted him on the back and left him to pick up the frame.

It was one his father had carved, probably at the time of his birth. He would fix it and place it on the bureau. The pictures would go back in the frame the way his mother had put them. He needed the reminder. His roots were a vital part of him, and now he knew why his mother had come.

I love you Mother, he said not even knowing if it would carry from this distance.

Take care of yourself and the boys til I get back, she responded.

Yes Mother you can be sure of it, he thought as he smiled and left the room to find Vin and the others. He knew that trouble was lurking somewhere, it had stayed away long enough.

finis