Whatever's written in your heart by the poet

Whatever's Written In your Heart

Chris looked into the eyes of his son as the boy looked up at him from the saddle they rode on. He was checking the lay of the land, and was enjoying the moments that were few and far between. They were headed toward home and he could see Sarah as she waved to them. She was even more beautiful than when he first married her.

As he neared the house he held his son and draped his hat in front of him making a temporary basket for apples that the boy picked from the tree nearby. He had turned the boy around so that he could drop the ripened fruit into his hat. He knew that with Adam's help, he could bribe Sarah into baking a pie for dessert. It would be the perfect ending to chicken and dumplings. It may not be Sunday, but the day was special: Adam was turning five years old.

He remembered his birth and how the storm had prevented him from going for the nearest midwife, and by the dawn the child burst through like the day. He had seen the sun break through the clouds as Sarah had given her last push and Adam was thrust into his waiting hands. His tears had matched those of Sarah's as he looked into the blue eyes of the screaming infant.

He smiled at his son, as he placed the boy back on the saddle and took the apple filled hat from his neck and gave it to him. It couldn't have been five years that the boy had been born. He remembered everything too well. He almost envied the boy for nursing at Sarah's breast, and she had never been more beautiful.

He alit from Pony and lifted the boy with his precious cargo. He watched as he carefully walked up the steps to his mother. Adam who normally had only one speed, which was as fast as his legs would carry him, was actually making sure of his footing. Sarah bent down and took the hat from her son. She smiled and saw Chris walk to the barn. He smiled back and could not have wished for a more perfect day to have with his son and wife.

After he took the saddle off Pony and rid the gelding of the bridle he put the finishing touches on the present for his son. Despite the boy's talent for finding hiding places, Chris had managed to keep this particular item from him. He couldn't have done it without the help of Buck, who despite his wanderlust, had a small shack in the hills. He had found the perfect gift. Buck would be bringing the pony when he came later that day in time for supper. The saddle, he had made himself. Every night for the last two months, he had carefully rubbed the leather and made it so that he would be able to use it for a few years. He recalled helping his father do the same for his sister. It was one of the few times that he and his father had agreed on something.

As he touched the leather with his hand, he remembered his father and hoped that he was proud of his son. The distance was impossible to travel for the now retired Marshall, who had grown tired and no longer strong enough to sit in a saddle. He had written his mother. Her letter had brought tears his eyes. The once strong man whom Chris had thought could do anything, now suffered from severe arthritis and it was slowly crippling him. Chris had wished for a more fitting ending for the man who had stared death in the face once too often. Sarah had held him when Buck had brought the mail. Buck had only heard stories of the man through Chris.

It was happenstance that they had met and when they did, they were fast friends. Buck had fought with the Union Army after being a sheriff in what was now West Virginia. The war had left him with an urge to see the west. Having grown up in a bordello, he loved women and respected them. He had seen one too many rapes by his fellow soldiers, hence was never promoted for one too many fist fights because of it. When he met Chris, the desire diminished some and he found someone who had the same beliefs as he did. That was until Chris ran into Sarah again. It had been a few years since he had walked her home from school. The love he had felt for her then, materialized once more. This time he was brave enough to confront her father. Despite the disapproval, she married him. She had loved him the same way he loved her.

Sarah came into the barn and watched her husband. She loved the man and she loved the word 'husband'. She admired his form and took a moment to stare at his physique. She lingered over certain parts and smiled.

He could sense her presence anywhere. He felt her eyes and reached from behind to pull her toward him. She grasped his hand and laughed until she caught sight of the saddle.

“Oh Chris, it's beautiful! He'll love it” she said as he wrapped his arms around her and smiled.

“Which do you think he'll like more? The saddle or the pony that Buck is bringing to put under it?” he asked as he kissed her. “Speaking of which where is he” he said as he proceeded to kiss her neck.

“Chris behave yourself or there will be no apple pie, despite your son's request. You wore him out, as if you didn't know” she said as she felt the body heat intensify between them.

“You are far more delicious than pie, but who am I to deny Adam?” he responded as he kissed her once more and savored her taste on his lips.

“You always manage to surprise me” she said as she pulled away. He grasped her hand once more and pulled her back for another embrace before letting her go to the task at hand. How did I get so lucky to be with a woman that I love more and more each day?, he thought to himself.

He spent more time in the barn. He knew that if he went back to the house, he would distract Sarah. Although the boy would never show disappointment in his eyes, Chris would not dare upset him on this day. Even though he felt the day was his, he knew that this would be a memory for Adam to keep. This was the age where he remembered things.

He recalled his father lifting him high in the air and his older brothers chasing him. He remembered the smell of his mother making soup on the stove. His father would sit at the table reading from any number of books. He had lost count as to how many times he fell asleep listening to his voice, only to be lifted by him and placed in bed. Dawn would come far too quickly with any number of chores. He would hear his father's voice once more. Dawn would barely break as he would hear his father kiss his mother and leave.

He wiped a tear from his eye as he left the barn. He once again felt the sun and a smile as he saw Buck pulling a pony. The animal had a bow around its neck and bridle that Chris knew would match the saddle.

“The boy around? Or do I have time to put this mare in the barn?” he replied.

“Buck I swear you would think that boy was yours. Her coat gleams. You must have spent the last few hours currying her and combing her. Are you sure you can part with her? She looks more like one of the fillies I've seen you dance with than a present for Adam,” Chris said as he touched the pinto pony. The animal whinnied at Chris' touch and his grin widened.

Buck got off his horse and they put the nameless creature in the barn where Chris put a blanket over the animal. It was then that the pony startled and bucked its back legs hitting Buck in the head. Chris looked at his friend in shock and let go of the pinto. He knelt down to check the head of his friend.

Buck was passed out. Chris hit the pony on the rump and let the animal free. He then proceeded to heft Buck up and get him to the house. Sarah met him at the first step. Despite her small frame, she managed help Chris carry Buck to the bedroom.

“What happened?” she asked as they situated him in the bed.

“I forgot the pony was bridle wise, but not broke yet. I put the blanket on her and she bucked Buck” he said as he cursed under his breath. He knew the day was too good to be true.

“What did you do with the pony?” she asked as she put a wet cloth on Buck's head.

“I set him loose. Maybe later I'll go after her. You'll think he'll be alright?” Chris asked as Buck stirred. “hey there Stud you feeling like you can lift that head of yours?” he asked.

“What hit me?” Buck asked.

“One of your escorts thought you were getting a bit too fresh. I'm sorry I should have broke her first. I forgot with this being his day and all. Can you sit up?” Chris asked as he supported his friend.

“Your bed? I best be getting out of it lest Sarah gets any ideas.” Buck said with a wink.

“Not in your wildest fantasies. I only have eyes for a certain gentleman who knows my every move and every desire” she said looking at Chris with a dreamy look.

Chris returned the look and was glad that all was well. Things may have turned out better in fact because now his saddle would be the highlight of the day and he could ride out with his son to look for the pony, thus giving Adam a sense of discovery that Chris had had when he found her with Buck.

Speaking of which, the boy was coming to the door. Little pitchers have big ears. “Mama what is Uncle Buck doing in your and Papa's bed?” the boy asked.

“Getting out of it you little tadpole.” He went to stand and felt his equilibrium fade. Chris took him under the arm and got him to the chair next to the table before he fell. He poured him a strong cup of coffee and thought better of adding whiskey to it. Sarah added some sort of concoction to the coffee and Buck started to feel like himself.

“Are you some sort of witch? My head feels like it was never hurt.” Buck said.

“I cast all sorts of spells. Ask Chris” she said with a smile.

Chris bowed formally and then took her for a turn on the floor. She had flour everywhere, even the tip of her nose. She flicked some from her hand on to his face and he sneezed. This caused the whole room to break out in laughter. No music was ever finer. Chris knew this memory was one that would last, from the beginning of the day to the end.

He swore the food was better than anything she had ever made and was even more sweeter with the presence of a good friend. He knew the flirting was harmless and that Sarah had eyes only for him.

For him, but he was grateful that Sarah had never met Vin Tanner. Chris had been sitting at the bar reminiscing about the day so long ago. He wanted to remember, but without the grief that usually came along with it. He looked up and for the briefest of moments saw Sarah in all her splendor: right down to the flour on her nose. He touched his and swore he saw of touch of flour on his finger tip.

He heard her speak and saw Mary standing there with a pie in her hand. It was then that he had recalled he had helped her when she was making out the dough. The flour was real and if she only knew what it meant to have this memory become one of joy, rather than pain. He saw Billy rush up to her and lick his lips. He too was tempted to do the same thing. He was almost tempted to lick her lips as well.

She noticed his look of contentment and smiled. She knew that it had something to do with him personally. Whatever it was it was written on his heart for only a few to see and she was glad that she caught that briefest glimpse.

Chris held her son in his arms and gave a knowing look at Buck who smiled back. His friend was finally coming back to the land of the living. It was about time too. His burden was too heavy to carry alone, and there were days when he needed this kind of thing to lighten the load and remember the good times without the burden of the darkness.

The memories would be enough to sustain him. 3 a.m. would come all to quickly. Hang on Cowboy you got a lot more living left. Let go of some of the grief and know that she will always be young and written in your heart, Buck thought as he saw the three of them walk out into the sunshine of a beautiful day. Enjoy yourself, Stud you've earned it.

Chris was happy and the sun was shining. The only thing missing was chicken and dumplings. He saw Nettie and Vin and smelled the aroma. It couldn't be. Buck must have told her. That sly dog must not have hit his head that hard after all.

Chris opened his eyes and his heart and the memory lingered and merged with the new to make it all that much sweeter. God bless the child that has his own. Keep them safe Lord, till I can keep them back in my arms forever, Chris thought as he joined the others. Today would be a day to rejoice.

finis