Michael Biehn Archive

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Aliens - Cookies artwork by Tarlan

Ripley was in a power loader fighting the Queen Alien. The Alien was busy dodging Ripley's attacks, then the two females grappled one another and were trying to force each other onto the floor so they could be stomped on.

Bishop, Newt and the rest of the colonial marines watched from a distance. Bishop, due to his programming, was worried in case Ripley got hurt, the marines were cheering Ripley on and Frost and Drake were running a book and taking bets. Burke stood in the corner sulking because Ripley had given him an earful earlier about human life and how pathetic he was. Newt was eating popcorn (how cute) and Hudson was getting a bit hyper and started swearing... and the cola-alcohol mixed drinks he'd been drinking didn't exactly help.

"C'mon Ripley! Take that Bitch out! Give her a right hook! C'mon man kill her!" Hudson squeeled.

"Hudson, stop being an asshole and shut the fuck up!" Vasquez yelled, then she mumbled something under her breath.

Bishop looked around. "Where's Hicks?"

"He got the munchies, he's looking for somethin' to eat." Ferro replied.

Hicks turned up with a jar in his hands, which Ripley immediately noticed.

"What are you doing with those!?!?!" She screamed.

"I was hungry," Hicks protested, "Can I have some?"

"No! Those cookies are mine!!!" Ripley yelled back.

"Looks like Hicks has hit a nerve," Hudson whispered.

"Stay out of this Hudson!!!" She screamed.

Hudson looked like he was going to cry.

"Put those cookies back!!!"

"Please can I have one? I'm weak with hunger."


"Please, pretty please with cornbread on top?"

The Queen Alien squeeled, "For gods sake, just give him a bloody cookie!"

Hicks gave Ripley the sad puppy look.

"Only one," she said after a while, "eat any more and I'll sick the Queen on you."

"Please eat more than one," the Alien Queen said, " I've always wanted a husband as cute as you."

That made Hicks drop the jar and pass out. The jar broke immediately, (don't worry, Hicks didn't fall anywhere near the broken cookie jar.) And all of Ripley's cookies fell on the floor.


"Oh, it's nice to see you care about Hicks," the Alien mentioned.

"MY COOKIES!!!" Ripley screamed.

"Forget I said anything." the Queen mumbled.

When Hicks woke up, he found himself in an Alien hive. As he was looking around, the Queen Alien made him jump.

"What the fuh...!" he squealed.

"Hi honey, it's nice to see you awake. Did you sleep well?" she said.

"Huh? Wha? Why did you call me honey?"

"I called you that because we're married."


"Robo boy Bishop did the ceremony, but because you where unconscious, he had to imitate your voice."

"Why did we get married?" he asked, still in shock.

"Well, Ripley got really peeved cause you dropped the cookie jar, and this is her revenge." the Alien Queen explained, "Ain't she sweet?"

The Queen picked Hicks up and hugged him. "Now we can be together FOREVER!!"


Just then, Hicks woke up.

"Oh, thank God it was just a bad dream!"

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