PHOENIX
Michael Biehn Archive


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Curran hung up the phone and leaned his head into his hands. Another mission in another hellhole. And with it came the possibility that he or one of his men may not come back. Curran didn't like thinking about losing one of his team. They were like a family to him. And the thought of losing Hawkins ripped at his heart.

The younger man had gotten on his nerves when he'd joined the team with his cocky attitude. He was a highly trained SEAL but he was also a hothead, a mixture that could and would cause problems. Hawkins always tended to act first and think about it later. Curran told him it would come back to haunt him. Neither of them knew that it would be someone else who paid the price.

Graham's death had hit them both hard for different reasons. For Curran, it was the loss of the best friend he had. A man he had trusted with everything in his life. For Hawkins, it was the guilt. The knowing that a man died because of his actions. And it was that one moment that changed things between them forever.

It hadn't been easy but they had dealt with Graham's death and found a way to move on... together. No one was more surprised than they were when they found themselves involved. A physical attraction had always been there but neither thought it would amount to anything. But it had. And from the start, it had been more then just sex.

Curran stood and walked towards the kitchen. He leaned against the doorway as he watched Hawkins, dressed only in a faded pair of jeans, make sandwiches. He knew his lover had heard the phone but he hadn't come out to question him. Maybe because he didn't want to know that they were being thrown back into the fire.

"What is it this time?"

Hawkins didn't turn around as he spoke but Curran could see the tension in his lover's back. "Beirut."

"When do we leave?"

Curran walked towards his lover. "0400."

Hawkins nodded and Curran moved behind him, wrapping his arms around the younger man and pulling him into his arms. His chin rested on Hawkins' shoulder and they just stood there for long minutes. Hawkins' hands moved back to clutch at Curran's hips.

"By the book."

"In and out, destroy the weapons, get picked up and come home. Piece of cake." Curran said.

Both knew it was a lie. None of their assignments were that easy. Hawkins leaned back against his lover. "How hungry are you?"

Curran nipped at Hawkins' neck. "Very."

Hawkins snickered then pulled away. He wrapped up the sandwiches then put them in the refrigerator before leading his lover into the bedroom. Food could wait, this couldn't. They needed each other, the physical contact to reassure themselves.




Curran finished dressing then looked up as Hawkins came out of the bathroom. They would be meeting the rest of the team in half an hour to outline their mission, then they'd be on a chopper heading into enemy territory. "We never did eat those sandwiches."

Curran smiled. "I guess we didn't."

Hawkins stepped in front of the older man and pulled him into a long, passionate kiss. Curran wrapped his arms around the other man. This would be their last moment together as lovers until after the mission was over.




The chopper took off and each man sat lost in his own thoughts. Curran forced personal thoughts out of his head after one last loving look at Hawkins. He closed his eyes and focused on the mission. And when he opened them, Hawkins knew that his lover had been replaced. The man sitting across from him was not his lover, he was his commanding officer.

And Hawkins did his best to do the same. Personal feelings were pushed aside and ignored. His face became blank as his SEAL training took over. The mission was the only thing important now. They both had a job to do. And if they failed... Hawkins shook his head. They wouldn't fail.

THE END