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Michael Biehn Archive


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Lanie squirmed.  Pacing around her apartment, trying to wear down the feeling of embarrassment, was only magnifying the feeling of regret. Derek and Rob would probably tell everyone they knew about how she had made a fool of herself with Kyle.   She could not talk to Susan since Susan had been the one who had tried to tell her she was making a mistake. There was nothing worse than being proved wrong in such a public way.  She tried to concentrate on the customers at breakfast the next day and pretend nothing had happened.  “And what can I get for you, sweetie?” she asked Mano.

 

“Same thing as always, Lanie, with you on top.” 

 

“Uh-huh. Where’s the rest of the crew?”

 

“You’re changing the subject. Where’s your boyfriend with the weird hair?”

 

“How should I know?” she said, but it gave her an idea.

   

“What’s the matter with you, Reese?  Sarah not givin’ you any now that she’s got a new man in her life?”  Menardo tossed up another square of shingles.  Kyle, kneeling on the new barn roof, ripped them open and started slapping the asphalt down on the decking, attaching them with the nail gun.  The air compressor motor putted into life to maintain pressure. 

 

He was angry, but not with Menardo and certainly not with Sarah.  In fact, that was part of the problem.  Now that John was three months old and they had hired Necia to help out a lot of the time on most days, Sarah had turned into this intense, insatiable fanatic.  She was obsessed with becoming fit, running and lifting weights and being particular about what she ate. At least there were no more SpaghettiOs around.

 

Sarah was a quick study.  The rifle, the pistols, the shot gun all became familiar tools in her hands.  Although there was no way to replicate the conditions of post-war life, Kyle had her out practicing in a variety of made-up situations.  He reviewed with her how to make pipe bombs and various other explosives.  She performed endless target practice. He was pleased to see she was not worried about the occasional bruise or scraped elbow.

 

But now she was talking about getting a job in Deming at the new computer plant and getting a computer science degree.  The more she worked and planned, the more he worried.  Getting into tech stuff with an eye to Cyberdynamic Systems made him profoundly uneasy.  It was not part of his mission, in fact, it flew in the face of the mission objective of keeping a low profile, hiding Sarah and John until after the war.

 

Kyle was absurdly proud of his little son. He loved holding John and feeling the soft hair on his head and looking at the perfect fingers and toes.  One thing he had neglected to describe to Sarah in any detail was the state of infant mortality in the post-war world.  There were a lot of babies born with ultimately fatal defects and a lot that died of malnutrition.  Many men and women were sterile.  Thousands of children as well as adults were killed by H-Ks, Terminators and simple neglect.  But now here he was, blessed with a beautiful wife and a healthy boy, both of whom he was fiercely protective.  All that remained was to keep them safe for the next two decades or so.  He had to find a way.

   

Lanie was kind of funny and stunningly beautiful.  She kept smiling at everything Andy said.  It had been a long time since he had come across a girl like her, someone he could talk to, so he hung around the Waffle House longer than usual, drinking way more coffee than he really wanted and when Lanie’s shift was over he asked her if she would like to take a drive. 

 

“Sure. Where are we going?”

 

“Well, let’s take a look at the mountains.” She laughed a little.

 

“O.K.,” Andy smiled at her as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Would you mind if we went by my apartment so I could change?” she asked. “I hate this uniform.”

 

“Sure.”  He waited in the car and she soon appeared in a very tight little t-shirt and jeans, achingly lovely.  “You look pretty tempting,” he said.  She appeared pleased.

 “Thank you. Tempting for what?”  Oh, why did her mouth keep moving without her brain?  Andy was looking at her with those gray eyes, trying to gauge just how much was serious and what was for real.  “Are you going back to Las Cruces soon?” she heard herself ask. O.K., I am just not going to say anything, anything else.   

“Well, I just don’t know.  I haven’t decided.”  Lanie was left to worry what he meant, but as they drove through the foothills and the trees it was impossible not to relax, at least a little. 

 

“So, you drive that red Mustang?” he asked.

 

“Yes.  I got it for graduation,” God, that sounded so conventional.

 

“You like it?” 

 

“Yeah, I always wanted one. And I try to take care of it; my dad likes to work on cars and stuff and he taught me a lot of things about them.  He didn’t want me to get stuck somewhere and have some bent mechanic try to cheat me.”  Andy laughed a little at the stricken look on her face as she realized her slip, charmed by her embarrassment.

 

“Well, I guess it’s important to know what you’re up against.”  Now she was staring into her lap, her face glowing pink.  He picked up one of her hands and held it.  “Are you hungry?  You want to get something to eat?” For a moment she looked confused and then relieved.

 

“Yes, sure,” her voice was slightly uneven.

  

Sarah was gasping for air after the effort of sprinting up the hillside, but now it was important to control her breathing if she wanted to hit the target.  Holding her breath for a couple of seconds, she aimed and fired off two quick shots.  The first was reasonably close to the Coke can, but the second missed by several feet. 

 

Kyle, lying flat across the top of the outcrop, could see the frustration in her face as she jumped up and ran on.  Several minutes later she appeared next to him, dusty and sweaty.  “I feel ridiculous,” she was breathing hard as she sat down next to him, but he noted she automatically checked how many rounds were left as she spoke.  “This isn’t like running from that terminator.  I’m just running around in the dirt out here,” she said, gulping air.  Where’s my motivation?”  She gestured to the valley in the distance. “That’s a joke.” she said, seeing Kyle’s grimly closed expression.

  

Andy selected a good steak house.  When they pulled into a shaded parking spot he took his time getting out of the car.  He reached over and touched Lanie’s cheek and then her hair and slowly leaned over and kissed her, softly, no big deal, just catching her lips with his.  He pulled away and gave her a little smile, came around to open her door and catch her hand, clasping it firmly as they walked inside. She tried to keep her knees from shaking.

 

Lanie was used to looking at the prices and making sure they fit into her budget—or her parents’ or her high school date’s.  Andy ordered for both of them, though and Lanie started to relax.  He was so self assured.  All during dinner he often held her hand across the table, running his thumb gently over the top of her fingers.  At one point he was caressing the inside of her wrist.

 

When he escorted her back to the car, she was buoyant. Andy had made sure she had no more than a glass and a half of wine, guessing she was not used to drinking much of anything beyond iced tea.  He drove directly back to her apartment.  She forgot the Mustang was still parked at the Waffle House.

  

Kyle watched Sarah move from boulder to boulder evaluating, shifting position, selecting the best vantage point. “I’m done,” she said, securing the weapon she held. He came up behind her, reaching around her for the pistol with one hand, the other resting on her hip.  Instantly her fingers clamped down on his as she spun around.  His thumb was bent back painfully against his arm, his hand already going numb as she yanked him toward her, sweeping his legs out from underneath him.  It only partially worked as they both went down in an awkward heap. She rolled away quickly, then turned squatting down in front of him and said, “Watch it. You know what happened to the last would be rapist.” Smiling, he snatched the gun out of her hand and pinned her to the ground before she could react.

 

“You’re getting too good at that.” 

 

“Not good enough,” she grunted in frustration, struggling to free herself.  He was surprised at the effort required to keep her restrained, and slowly released her.  As he smiled down at her dirt-streaked face she smiled too. Truce.  She reached up, gently tracing the scar on his temple, her fingers remembering the history and reliving the hurt in intimate contemplation. She could open herself to him with complete trust, allowing him to see into her heart and soul with no fear, just as he had to her. He watched the light in her eyes rise from gentle affection to fire as Sarah pulled his mouth to hers.

 

For a while they lay there savoring each other, a lazy caress of lips and fingers, but gradually, he got to his feet, bundling her up in his arms, blindly half carrying her, backing her up so that they collided with one wall of stone and then rebounded until they settled against a thick clump of silver sage growing out of the cracks in the rock.  She unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it open, her tongue traveling across his neck, tracing a collarbone, teasing a nipple, caressing the hard muscles of his belly.  He stood with one hand braced against the wall above her head; the other buried in her hair as she unbuttoned his jeans and opened his fly. 

 

Before she got any further, he reached down drawing her up by her shoulders, kissing her hard, their hands all over each other. He could feel the muscles in her lower back flexing, her spine a row of stones below the t-shirt she had knotted above her ribs. He sank to his knees slowly in front of her, pulling off first one of her boots, then the other, peeling off her jeans and lifting one knee across his shoulder.  He buried his face between her thighs tasting her, hearing the quiet moan of pleasure as his tongue parted her soft folds. With both hands fisted in his hair, feeling his warm breath against her skin, his lips and tongue tugging gently on the hypersensitive parts of her, she could barely breathe. Her body as always, curled hard against him as she came, as if instead of sweet release she were fighting to preserve every shred of love shared between them.

 

Immediately, he stood and pulled himself free of his jeans, taking her standing, both of her legs now wrapped around him, her arms stretched above her head, her hands buried, fingers grasping, among the silver-green branches as she was pressed back into the sage, the crushed, aromatic leaves, releasing their scent. Watching her face as he thrust into her, both of his hands filled under her t-shirt, he could let go of everything except this moment with this woman.  The way she looked at him, the naked emotion, the relinquishment of her self made him feel powerful.  The sound she offered as she came again was a long animal cry of ecstasy, igniting his own climax. He shifted his hands to her back to support her as he lunged against her, breathless, burying himself deeply inside her until he was completely spent.

 

They slid to the ground, the tautness of their bodies draining away. Lying crumpled there, entwined, dusted with little bits of leaves and purple flowers, as Kyle kissed her, never able to have enough.  Her arms drew him into a tight embrace. “I love you, Kyle,” she breathed into his ear.  “I don’t want to lose you.”

 

“I’ll always be with you,” he said, with her arms crushing his face against her neck.

Several minutes passed before he said, “We still have time to prepare for the future.”

  

 

Andy took his time.  He carefully noted her reactions when he touched her, his hands moving unhurriedly, tenderly.  It was obvious Lanie was inexperienced and terribly nervous so he did his best to reassure her, not with words, but with patience. She was so sweet, he was in an agony of want and anticipation.  He spoke to her softly as he entered her.  “Are you all right?” 

 

“Yes.”  She still sounded a little scared.

 

“I won’t hurt you.”  She said nothing, but the expression on her face told him everything.  She was willing, but anxious.  He was trying to be a considerate lover, but it was torture to hold back.

 

“I’m O.K. Andy,” she said. “Don’t stop.”

 

The next morning dressing for work Lanie gazed at herself in the mirror trying to ascertain if she looked any different. Maybe her lips looked a little more bee-stung, they did feel a little bruised, but that was all. She then realized her car was still at the Waffle House and Andy was going to have to drive her there.

 Lanie slipped in the door as coolly as possible, but she saw both Mano and Frank already in the corner booth.  Mano was looking down, stirring his coffee.  So everybody knows.  Fine, just deal with it.  

Andy drove back to Las Cruces with the radio turned up, the windows open and a smile he could not stop.  In two days he would be back.

 

Three jobs were waiting for him when he arrived at the garage.  As soon as he finished the oil change and two inspections he went to the apartment and changed. He watched TV, killing time for a few hours and then drove to the Western Swing Club, a huge dance hall on the edge of town. 

 

Andy parked a long way from the door and went inside.  They stamped his hand as he paid the cover charge.  He drank one beer and slipped back outside where he pretended to be looking for his car and ambled up and down the lines of vehicles.  Lots of Ford pickups.  He used his Slim Jim to pop the lock on a four year old model and slid into the driver’s seat.  Less than two minutes later he was cruising sedately out of the lot and down the road.  Less than two hours later, Gary dropped him back at the parking lot.

 

This time Andy selected a relatively new Impala.  Someone had left the windows cracked open.  That boost took less than a minute. When Gary brought him back a second time, Andy went into the club and had two beers. He asked a girl to dance then excused himself to the men’s room and left.  He returned to the apartment $1000.00 richer.  He spent the next 48 hours smoking crystal meth to celebrate.

  

“You look tired,” Lanie said as they left the restaurant bar. 

 

“I’m O.K.” he said tersely.  Lanie was not sure what to make of his mood and walked silently beside him.  As they turned the corner she spotted Derek and Rob giggling, coming out of the alley behind the grocery store.  Rob saw her and nudged Derek. He said something to his friend and then the two stood smiling like idiots as Lanie and Andy approached. 

 

“Looks like you got somebody to come inside,” said Rob.  Lanie flushed pink.  Derek looked surprised, but amused at the comment. 

 

“What the fuck did you say?”  Andy shoved Rob backward with two open palms. “You got something to say to me about my girlfriend?” His eyes were heated stones.  Derek watched Andy’s hands roll into fists.  Rob was now regretting opening his mouth as Andy leaned into his face and he heard rather than saw the knife blade snap up beside his eye. 

 

“Nuh—no. Sorry man.” For several seconds no one moved, and then Andy stood back, folding the knife and glancing sideways at Derek.  He turned to Lanie, taking her arm and leading her down the street.

 

“No one’s going to talk to you like that,” he said.  When they got back to her apartment, she ripped off his clothing in a fever of lust.

  

Andy was staring at the TV, trying to come down off the methamphetamine.  He had been so tired when he got back from a four-boost night he decided to smoke a little to push the fatigue away.  He had felt better, but then could not sleep.  Now he was watching the morning news, hoping it would bore him into unconsciousness.

 

“—they were found Saturday near Highway 330—reported missing since June 30th of last year—two bodies have been identified as Ron Shepherd and Eric Johns of Los Angeles—Andy Shepherd is wanted in connection with their disappearance—police considering this a homicide investigation—“ Andy snapped into confused alertness.  “No!” his mind screamed, “All this time they’ve been rotting in some hole while that bitch and her boyfriend live happily every after.” Andy got cleaned up and headed back to Lordsburg, the loaded Glock on the seat beside him.

 

At first, Lanie was simply appalled with his story and shocked to learn he was a car thief.  Her mind reeled, fascinated about what he had done, the money involved and the risks.  The idea that Kyle and Sarah were murderers was actually easier to believe—she had always known they were hiding something. She just didn’t know what. They acted so differently than other people she knew.

 

“Oh Andy, I’m so sorry about Ron.  What are we going to do?”  She was holding him as they lay sprawled across the couch in her apartment.  Lanie ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. 

 

He did not respond except to ask, “Are you saying you’ll help me?”

 

“Help you what?”  He still had enough shreds of common sense to know she was not ready to hear all he had to say.  Instead, he made love to her and he felt good for a while. Then he confided more of his pain.