As Chris headed into Denver for work, he was apprehensive about seeing Vin. Lately Tanner had been pulling away, making excuses about why he couldn't spend more time at the ranch and with Chris. The blond hated playing games and he wanted to know where he stood in this relationship. So, in an act of frustration, Larabee gave Vin an ultimatum. They either agreed to be a couple or they agreed to break it off. Period!
Giving Vin an ultimatum was never a good thing, but Tanner hadn't called this morning to tell him not to pick him up, so here he was, with his heart in his throat, turning into the neighborhood of Purgatorio. As if he wasn't worried enough, Chris thought, it would be just like Vin to leave without saying anything especially if he felt trapped. He prayed to all of Vin's spirits that the Jeep would still be at the curb.
They had been fuck-buddies for a few months now, but Chris wanted more and he had hoped that Vin did too. But, of course, Vin had to be his usual stubborn, pigheaded, cantankerous self when offered something freely and had balked when Chris suggested they make a commitment.
Sighing heavily, he steeled himself for the disappointment, he knew he was going to feel when Vin turned him down. Just about then a song came on the truck radio;
Our love story reads like a book of lies,
Good Intentions, Better Alibis
No happy endings, no straight lines
No movin' on, but no goodbyes.
This bittersweet revelry, will be the death of me...
Yeah, Chris thought, Vin would be the death of him. There was no one in the world that could make him as angry as Vin could. His sharpshooter seemed to thrive on pushing all his buttons. Hell, he thought, if he ever had a stroke and died, Vin would be the cause of it but the truth was, he loved Vin so damn much. He didn't think he would make it if Vin turned him down. The music played on;
We go round and round, tryin' to work it out,
And all I get is hell-bent and bound,
Never far from right where we are.
And you would think that we'd get enough
You know we're goin' to mess it up
We're holdin' on and sinkin' down
Here we go round and round
Makin' circles, makin' circles.
We both want to lead, while we dance alone.
One more graceful spin on who's right or wrong...
Chris shook his head, yeah, this song was about him and Vin, all right. Both of them alphas, both of them wanting to lead. At work, he was the boss, and Vin seem to respect that, but away from work, Chris's need to control everything around him kept Vin running scared. That was really the problem. Vin was probably afraid he'd lose himself in Chris. Afraid his personality would disappear and he'd become a shadow of Chris Larabee.
But Larabee knew he'd have to work extra hard to keep that from happening. He didn't want to dominate Vin, just share his life and his love. Why couldn't Vin understand that?
Peeking through the windshield, Larabee could see Vin's Jeep was still parked in front of his apartment. Chris let out a sigh of relief, but steeled himself. If Vin turned him down it would hurt bad and he wasn't sure he'd survive, but then he thought, I guess I've lived through worse. The song played on;
Same old words, same old song,
maybe we're right where we belong.
It can't get much better, it sure can't get worse,
Well, either way you turn it's gonna hurt...
Vin saw the truck headed his way and let out a sigh. He loved Chris, there was no doubt about that. He didn't think he could live without him, but he didn't know the answer to the question. It wasn't that he didn't love the man, nor was it a matter of trust. He trusted Chris more than anyone else he'd ever known. Truth be told, he wasn't sure what held him back. As Vin watched the truck draw near, the look on Chris's face as he pulled in to the curb, was, was...
Vin opened the door and climbed in. He looked at his lover, reached over and gave Chris's upper thigh an affectionate squeeze, grinned and said in his soft drawl.
"I love you cowboy. Why don't we try that couple thing for awhile, see how it works out."
Larabee gave Vin a big smile and nodded. Maybe he wouldn't get hurt after all and maybe, just maybe if they worked real hard at it, they wouldn't mess it up. And the song played on;
You'd think that we'd had enough
Be sick and tired of messin' up,
Holdin' on, sinkin' down
Here we go round and round.
Makin' Circles, Makin' Circles.