Memories and Dreams by KlingonCat

It only took about ten minutes.

Ten minutes and his life was all packed up and ready to go. Vin paused for a moment to ponder on whether that was a good or a bad thing and decided that it was neither, it just was the way things were.

The way his life was.

Small, compact and easily displaced.

He shook his head in disgust. When had he become so dependent on other people. He left the wagon where it was -- someone would find a use for it. He briefly thought about sleeping in it for this last night but decided to make a clean break. Now...before things got more complicated.

It was too dark to ride far, but he knew the area well enough to get a head start, far enough to avoid the questions that he couldn't...or wouldn't answer.

He wished briefly that he'd had a chance to buy a few extra supplies, but Mrs. Potter had closed up hours ago. He wasn't scheduled for any patrols tonight or tomorrow, and by the time his next one was due the others would know he was gone. He saddled Peso, packing the bags tightly, and was now glad that he hadn't bought more.

There was only one thing left to do...find some way to let the others know that he had left by choice, not at the point of a bounty hunter's gun.

It had to be someone who wouldn't run right to Chris or one of the others. Vin finally decided that Tiny was probably the best choice. He want around back, knocked on the door to his small apartment, and asked him to let the others know...tomorrow.

And then he was gone, fading into the night.

The sun rose in Four Corners - another day, one more in a string of days that Chris Larabee never thought he'd become a part of.

A town...a job...a home...and six good friends.

Well, five good friends and one who was more than a friend, one who until recently he would have named brother. Now, that one was even more. Now, with Vin, he had not only found his soul, but he had also found his heart.

Chris looked up and down the street, surprised that he didn't see Vin. Vin, who woke even before the sun thought about rising, who usually was finishing his second cup of coffee as Chris took his first sip.

He must have traded duty with someone, must have left to patrol the outlying area before Chris had even opened his eyes. Chris wandered into the Saloon, thanked Inez as she handed him a steaming mug and started to head back out to watch the sunrise as he drank it, but Inez interrupted him.

"Senor Tanner is not having coffee with you today?"

Chris turned back, wondering if he had misread the absence. "Wasn't he in earlier?"

"No, Senor Larabee, only JD came in before he left for patrol."

The hairs on the back of Chris's neck stood up as he realized that Vin's absence wasn't as simple as he'd thought. He turned back to Inez, seeing her concern. "I'll find him, Inez."

"Please do, I have made some biscuits... the ones that he likes so well."

With that, Chris turned and walked outside. He looked around once more before heading down the street. He detoured at the next corner to peek into the wagon parked there, pretty sure it would be empty by this time of the day, confirmed that thought and continued on to the livery.

It only took a few minutes for Chris to reach the stable and find that Peso was gone, which meant Vin was gone.

He hoped it was one of those times when the tracker just needed to get out of town for a couple days...but a shadow of doubt flitted through his mind telling him that it was more than that.

He moved back to the front of the saloon and sat, drinking his coffee and thinking.

Where was Vin, why would he leave with no mention or warning, had a bounty hunter come in the night and taken him?

The more he thought, the darker his mood became.

Had he done something to send the tracker running...it didn't seem likely.

Yesterday things had been fine, hell, they'd been better than fine. Two days ago he and Vin had finally taken the next step in their relationship, spending a night together at the cabin Chris kept a few miles out of town. It had been one incredible night. He and Vin, both insatiable, exploring the physical side of their bond until the sun rose. They had slept then, sated, until after noon and then, after bathing in the creek, they headed back to town, not wanting to arouse suspicion. Last night they planned to have dinner...nothing special, just the regular meal provided by the boarding house as part of their monthly pay...but that hadn't happened because of the summons he'd received from the Judge.

Unable to sit still, Chris spent the day stalking around town glaring at everyone and talking to no one, including Tiny, who upon approaching the gunman and seeing his black mood, changed his mind and decided that the message could wait until later.

It was barely dawn when Vin arose, forgoing coffee rather than take the time for a fire. He ate a couple of left over biscuits and headed out, wanting to get a good head start in case anyone decided to follow him. He kicked Peso into a ground-eating lope and headed off.

He wasn't sure where he was heading, just away. He rode for most of the day, stopping only to rest Peso. He rode until it was nearly dark, then camped in a small copse near a spring he had used on a number of occasions. He had spent most of the day trying not to think about what he was doing.

And now, with nothing to divert his attention, he couldn't stop thinking about what...or rather, who, he was leaving behind.

He'd thought his dreams were suddenly coming true when Chris had asked him to stay with him at his cabin. Was it just two nights ago?

At first, Vin just thought he was telling him he could sleep there rather than ride back to town after they had spent the day working on the new corral. But after they washed up and shared dinner, it became clear that Chris knew, or at least suspected, how Vin felt about him.

After a couple of drinks, Chris leaned over taking Vin's face between calloused, but gentle hands. He took Vin's lips with his own, kissing him until Vin was dizzy and gasping for air. Then he stripped the shirt from Vin's body and set about giving him a second bath...this time with his tongue. Vin was soon moaning as the deft hands worked their way into his pants and pretty soon they were both naked, in bed, and thrusting hungrily against each other, cocks hard and dripping as they slid together. After a first fast and furious orgasm, they rested for a bit before Chris started his way down Vin's chest, ending up with Vin's shaft in his hot, wet mouth. Vin nearly came again before Chris pulled back, grinning as he reached back to caress the moist cleft of Vin's ass, sliding his slickened fingers back to massage the tight ring of muscle before slipping inside to open and prepare Vin for his next assault. When Chris pressed inside him, his cock hard and hot, Vin cried out in both pain and ecstacy. Chris began pumping into him, his thrusts grazing the gland inside and making Vin tremble and shudder with each movement. They drove against and into each other, Chris pumping Vin's shaft as he thrust harder and faster into his ass.

They both cried out as seed filled Chris's hand and Vin's insides, bodies dripping with sweat and semen. It was something Vin had only dreamed about. Now, in one evening, he'd had Chris's tempting mouth sucking him to near insanity, then Chris filling him with a cock so big and beautiful that Vin could barely breathe at the sight when the tight black jeans had finally come off.

Now, it all seemed like a nightmare.

Now his dreams felt like ashes. He remembered how he had watched Chris as he walked out of the boarding house yeaterday. Vin, standing inside the saloon doors waiting for him, both men freshly bathed and wearing clean clothes. Vin had actually blushed, seeing that Chris had also dressed for their planned dinner. Suddenly Chris wasn't walking towards the saloon, but down the street. He ended up at Mary Travis's doorstep and, after knocking, the door opened and Chris walked inside.

For the next hour, Vin tried to convince himself that Chris was just there to talk to the Judge and would return to join Vin for the meal they had planned.

After almost two hours, Vin slipped out the back door of the saloon and circled around the edge of town until he was in the alley next to the Travis house. He could clearly see through the lace curtains as Mary and Chris shared dinner by candlelight, with no sign of the Judge or Billy.

Cursing himself for being worse than a whore, Vin walked back to his wagon, packed, and now, almost a full day later, he found himself sitting by his campfire, a long day's ride from Four Corners, and alone.

He finally pulled out the small bottle of whiskey he'd packed and took a drink, grimacing as the taste reminded him of the taste of Chris's lips. Whiskey and tobacco -- that taste that was simply Chris.

He let out a string of curses in several languages before jumping up to pace, startling Peso.

"Sorry, Boy," he soothed, stroking the silky neck, "'s not yer fault." He rummaged into his pocket and found a chunk of molassas cookie for the horse.

Finally he just sat and stared into the small fire, wishing for things he refused to put words to, and eventually, he slept.

As the day turned into evening and then night with no word from Vin, Chris's mood got darker and his patience grew thinner. By the time the men gathered at the saloon for their usual evening activities, Chris had reached the point of deadly silence.

He was worried, but being who he was, he could not admit that, so he was angry. He was hurt, thinking that Vin might just leave with no word...but again, that was something he couldn't admit to, so he got even angrier.

It was mid afternoon the following day and Vin was riding along a ridge, the trail was wide and clear, so he was traveling at another ground-eating pace, one of the things that Peso could do for hours on end.

Unless fate decided to interfere.

There was no warning...just a loud snap, and the rear cinch on Peso's saddle broke, the leather strap swinging back to slap the inside of his rear legs.

Peso did what any self respecting horse would do when stung by an unknown attacker from underneath, he hopped... going from full lope to a series of hopping jumps...bedroll, saddlebags and rider all flying off in various directions.

Unfortunately, Vin went off first, fast and hard, somersaulting over the withers and lowered head to land on his back, head slamming onto the hard packed earth with a loud thump. Unconscious almost before he was even aware that there was a problem.

Peso ran on for a ways, shaking off the rest of Vin's belongings except for the saddle, barely holding on with one strap and the reins hanging loose. He finally came to a halt, confused, still stinging where the leather strap had left a welt and uncertain as to his next move, so he simply did what any horse would -- he looked for a nice patch of something to graze on and waited for Vin to come for him.

He was still waiting as night fell.

Vin still lay where he fell, unaware of the waiting horse or the passage of time.

The atmosphere in the saloon was strained that evening, the room quieter than normal in deference to the dark cloud in the corner.

The aura of frustration and anger kept the rest of the men away...even Buck. He didn't know for sure what was bothering the black clad man, but figured it must have something to do with the absence of Vin. He also knew Chris well enough to keep his distance.

Chris sat in that dim corner, the bottle on the table in front of him, and thought about what might cause Vin to take flight at this time. He no longer worried if a bounty hunter had taken him, Tiny had finally decided that he needed to tell someone about Vin's departure so he talked with Nathan, who let Chris know.

He ended up drinking only a couple shots, then he stood and walked out onto the boardwalk. Unable to sit still and frustrated that he should feel so bereft.

It's not like they were married or anything...they had spent one fucking night...or was that one night fucking? Why did it hurt so much that Vin had left without a word?

Chanu and Awanata had been out hunting for a couple days. They were closer to the town than they had been for a long time, since the army had relocated the tribe, but the hunting was so much better here that they took the risk of being caught in order to provide meat for their people.

They had nearly enough to head back, but Chanu wanted to spend one more day. Awanata, as usual, followed his lead. They headed out at dawn, following the trail of a small group of deer. They came up the side of the ridge and were surprised to find a big black horse with a white blaze watching them as they approached. Loose reins hung from the bridle and the saddle hung crookedly, one strap hanging beneath the horse's belly.

Chanu looked around and soon spotted a few pieces of tack, a blanket, and a bedroll. He wondered what had happened then, looking back at the horse, recognition dawned. He knew this animal. This was the cantankerous beast his chosen brother rode. If Peso was here, Vin must be near.

They looked, and before long they found the supine man, still laying where he had landed the afternoon before. Kneeling, Chanu felt Vin's neck and found a pulse. His brother was alive, and judging by the shivers that racked the slim body, he had been there overnight. He tried to rouse his friend but, having no luck he and Awanata collected the horse, unhooked the cinch letting the saddle fall, strapped on the blanket, and gently lifted Vin up, with Chanu riding behind. They headed back to their hunting camp. Once there, he sent Awanata back to the tribe with the pack animal carrying the bounty from their hunt. He would stay and care for Tanner, Awanata would deliver the food and ask the tribe's shaman to come and help Chanu with Vin. It would take Awanata all day to get back to the tribe, and even if the shaman left at first light, it would be late afternoon tomorrow before help would arrive. Vin's survival now depended on Chanu.

He pulled the injured man into their small shelter checking him for injuries. The most obvious being the large lump on the back of his head, but Chanu also found several large bruises on Vin's back. He decided there was nothing he could do about them for the moment, since the most important thing was to warm him up. Chanu quickly piled all the blankets and hides under and over the shaking body, but he could see that Vin was too cold to warm up on his own. He stripped both Vin and himself down to their undergarments and crawled in with him, wrapping himself around the shivering body.

It took a while, but gradually the body he held bagan to warm up, and eventually the shivering stopped. Vin was still unconscious but was starting to mumble and toss. Chanu listened and soon realized that the tacker was not speaking in English, but in a Kiowian dialect. Chanu knew some of the language, but much of what Vin was saying was muffled and slurred so he could only understand a few of the words.

One of the words was a name. Mingan. Chanu knew that the name meant gray wolf, but had no idea who he was or why the tracker would be calling to him -- until he caught some of the other words the restless man called out.

Lover's words.

His friend had been a bonded mate to a Kiowian warrior.

Chanu knew that there was usually only one reason why he would no longer be with that mate... Mingan, was, most likely, dead.

He wondered at the pain this must have caused the young tracker, and as he sat with Vin and held him as he tossed and turned, he realized that there was more to this friend than he had known.

It was nearly dark when Vin opened his eyes, jerking upright as he woke. He looked at Chanu and then around the small shelter and asked, in Kiowian, where he was and why. Chanu could see that Vin did not recognize him. He remembered that several years ago one of the men in his tribe had hit his head in a fall, and for several days did not know who he or anyone else was.

"My name is Chanu," he said, using his limited grasp of the Kiowian language. "You fell and hit your head... I think that you will remember me in a few days."

Vin groaned and raised a hand to his head, it felt like there was a knife piercing his skull. He tried to move and found that the bruises on his back were nearly as painful as his head was and moaned again, laying back in hopes that remaining still would stop the pain.

Chanu opened a canteen and offered him a drink, which he took gratefully, but soon regretted it. As soon as the water hit his stomach, nausea overwhelmed him. He lost the water in a painful bout and sank back into the blankets. His head was spinning, his stomach was cramping, his back screaming, and he was still thirsty. All in all he felt like shit.

After letting Vin rest a few minutes, Chanu convinced Vin that he needed to try again to take some water. He helped him take a few small, cautious sips of water, and soon Vin fell back to sleep.

Chanu crawled out of the shelter, put some wood on the fire and some water on to heat. He had a small pouch of herbs that the shaman had given him, and knew that the tea would help when Vin woke again.

Mingan stood there watching him, eyes bright with love as they stopped at the small lake to rest and wash before heading back to camp.

They had stripped down quickly, the air hot, bodies dusty and dry...the lake cool and wet. They played and splashed in the sunlight, laughing and then kissing as their blood heated. They were young and in no hurry to return to the camp where the older, more serious warriors would glare at their young, new love. Some disapproving, but not because they were both male, but because Vin was white. They didn't understand that neither of them saw that difference. They knew that they were meant for each other.

They dallied for much of the afternoon, then rode hard and fast, not from need, but from the love of it.

It was just getting dark as they arrived, but even in the dim light they could see that something was wrong...the camp was wrong. By the time they realized what it was, it was too late.

There were bodies everywhere, and as they rode in the soldiers that had stayed to make sure that all were dead had risen up, and before they could react, Mingan was falling from his horse, a large red stain covering his chest.

A second shot, the one that would have killed Vin, went wide as the man next to the shooter realized that he was white, his hair golden red in the sun. They approached him, his shoulder burning in pain from the bullet that had missed his heart, and he cursed them in the native tongue. They watched the blue eyes fill with hatred as they kicked the other boy, making sure he was dead before loading Vin onto their wagon and heading back to the fort.

Vin tossed and cried out in his sleep, reliving the loss of his first lover. The dream was so real it might have been happening here and now -- the pain of that loss sharp and debilitating. He woke with a gasp, finding a long ebony haired, dark skinned body beside him...could it have all been a dream? He reached out and embraced the lithe form that was curled under the hides with him.

"Mingan..." he whispered, relieved, it had been a dream, a terrible dream. He reached out taking his lover into his arms, wrapping him tightly as he drifted back to sleep.

Chanu turned at the whisper and was wrapped in the strong arms, pulled tightly against the nearly naked body and held as the man fell back into a deep sleep.

Chanu lay there, holding the sleeping man tightly.

He knew about loss.

It was less than a year since he had lost his wife, Claire, and before that, he had spent time with an older warrior. He had loved the man as much as he had loved Claire, but the when a fever had swept the tribe three winters ago, the older warrior had succumbed.

Now he held another man, a man he cared for and respected, a man who he found attractive. He had never thought about his friend in this way, but now, holding him, he wondered if, maybe, he had found another chance at happiness.

He chided himself then...he had no idea if the man in his arms had any feelings for him and reminded himself that he was here to take care of a friend, not find a new lover.

They slept for the rest of the night, waking early in the morning as Vin cried out, caught in the throes of yet another nightmare. Chanu shook him gently and watched as the man awoke.

The blue eyes looked at him, confused and wanting.

"Mingan?" His voice was a confused whisper, he had been so sure that his lover had been with him last night.

"No, Vin..." Chanu whispered gently, "it is only me, Chanu." He paused to let the words sink in. "You fell and hit your head yesterday... does it still hurt?"

Vin stared at the man who shared his blankets... this wasn't Mingan. He wasn't sure who he was but his voice was soft and kind and he held Vin gently. His head still ached so he nodded at the question, wishing then that he hadn't, as the movement sent a stab of pain straight to his brain.

Vin grabbed his head, crying out in surprise as much as from the pain.

Chanu wrapped his arms around the trembling body and just held him until the pain receded. He gently released the lax body and slid out to start the fire and brew up some more herbs, the cup he'd gotten into Vin the night before seemed to help some.

When Orenda, the tribe's shaman arrived late that afternoon Vin was sleeping. Chanu filled him in on how Vin was doing and, when Vin awoke the elder went in to check up on him.

Vin didn't remember Orenda, but recognized his status and listened to him as he asked about Vin's life -- where he lived and with whom. It was soon clear that Vin remembered nothing of the the time he had spent in Four Corners. He seemed to think he was still living with a band of Kiowa.

Chanu and Orenda explained that they had known him for almost a year, and that for that time he had been living in a nearby town, working with a group of men to protect the town. Vin looked at them, confusion clear on his face. He could see that these men had no reason to lie to him, but he had no memory of this town or the men they described to him.

They decided that for the time being, if Vin wanted to, he could stay with them, taking it easy and letting his memory come back as it would.

Vin, having nowhere else that he wanted to be, agreed. He'd spent a lot of his years living with the people and was always happy living simply.

They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening relaxing and planned to head out in the morning, making a slow, easy ride back to the village.

Vin was feeling somewhat better and got up to visit with Peso as they bedded the horses down for the night. He didn't remember when or where he had acquired the black, but it felt like they had been partners for a while.

He was walking back to the shelter when a stabbing pain in his head dropped him to his knees gasping in agony. Chanu, who was watching him approach, ran to his side as he collapsed.

Orenda hurried over and helped Chanu lead him back to the shelter. He was still gasping and holding his head as they put him under the hides. Orenda brought another cup of tea to the shelter and convinced Vin to sip at it, he had added some herbs that would help with the pain if they could get him to drink it. Gradually the pain eased and Vin fell into a deep sleep.

Chanu and Orenda looked at each other and knew that tomorrow's ride would be a difficult one for Vin, but they felt that it would be better if they could get him to the village and take care of him there.

Chanu slept with Vin again after explaining to Orenda about the dreams of the previous night. The Shaman agreed that is was better if Chanu was there to comfort Vin...even if Vin thought he was someone else. Orenda set up a small shelter on the other side of the fire knowing that he would be close enough if Chanu needed his help during the night.

When Chanu woke during the night to find Vin latched onto him, aroused, and calling softly for Mingan, he decided that a little shared comfort was a better answer than an abrupt, and possibly upsetting awakening. He also realized that the feel of Vin's firm body pressing against him and the low moans coming from his throat had brought him into an aroused state, too. He turned and embraced the lithe body, loosening his breechcloth and Vin's drawers so their flesh could make contact. Their loving was slow and gentle as they rocked against each other, their precum serving as lubrication. It didn't take long for them to reach a peak and slide over, dropping back to sleep almost immediately.

Orenda was up with the dawn, smiling at the two young men as they lay entwined together, he had heard the soft cries during the night and hoped that Chanu realized that this interlude might not last once Vin regained his memory. He knew how much the young brave had lost in the past years, and didn't want to see him hurt. He also knew that Tanner would never deliberately hurt his friend, but Vin was not himself, and might inadvertently lead his friend on. He would have to speak to Chanu about it, and soon.

By the time the sun was fully up, the shelter was empty and all three horses were packed and ready. Chanu helped Vin climb up on Peso, the strap now repaired and the saddle firmly attached. Both men felt that it would be easier for Vin to ride with the saddle than using a blanket, especially if he started to feel ill again.

They rode at a slow but steady pace, and were well on their way by the time they stopped for a mid-day meal. Vin had been swaying in the saddle for the last stretch so they unrolled a couple hides and let him sleep for nearly an hour while they prepared a meal. They could have eaten trail food and been on their way sooner, but they knew that Vin needed the break. They gave him a small serving of food and he managed to get about half of it eaten before he apologized and handed it back.

"Sorry...I just can't eat any more." He was pale and looked like he might have trouble keeping what he'd eaten down.

"It's all right my friend," Chanu said sofly as he took the bowl.

They repacked the horses and headed out.

Back in Four Corners another day had passed. Chris was gone, leaving for his cabin shortly after Nathan had given him Tiny's message.

JD wanted to know why no one was going after Vin, and Buck, not really sure himself, explained that Vin had made a choice, and that if he wanted to move on it was his right.

JD just looked at him as if he had sprouted feathers. "Buck, that's just not right, maybe he doesn't know that we want him to stay, maybe we should tell him that we need him..." He trailed off as he saw Buck nodding.

"I know, kid...but I think if anyone goes after him it's gotta be Chris and right now I think he's just too pissed off to do that."

"But, Buck...if he waits Vin might be gone, we might not find him," JD whined.

"Kid, if Vin doesn't want to be found, a day or two ain't gonna make no difference." With that he draped an arm over his friend's shoulder and steered him into the saloon for an afternoon drink.

Vin didn't do as well during the afternoon, his head was pounding and he was dizzy. After he had nearly fallen off Peso several times, Chanu climbed up behind him, taking the reins and guiding Peso while holding on to Vin as he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

The sun was setting as they arrived at the village, it was in a pretty, small valley, but the land was dry and life was harder since the army had forced them to move.

Kojay greeted them as they dismounted and Orenda explained that the tracker had fallen and was suffering from severe headaches and memory loss. They settled him into the small shelter where Chanu and Awanata lived. The two young braves were both unmarried and had been friends since they were children. Vin barely woke as they moved him into the small lodge.

They discussed whether they should send someone into town to let them know that Vin was there, but since the army had moved their village, they had left patrols in the area, any Indians found near a town were likely to be shot on sight.

Kojay decided that it was just too dangerous, they would just have to wait until someone from town came to visit, it had been a while since the big ex-preacher had visited and he could show up at any time.

During the following weeks life gradually settled into a routine as Vin spent more time up and around. He insisted on helping out, doing whatever chores that needed to be done, Orenda insisting that he not try too hard and take it easy.

Something about the man's insistence that he relax and drink the foul tasting teas seemed somehow familiar and comforting. He complained that he was fine and that they didn't need to worry so much, but he was still getting severe headaches, sometimes several times a day. When one hit, all he could do was lie down and keep his eyes closed, otherwise the dizziness would escalate into nausea.

He had also begun to experience flashes of memory, usually in conjunction with the headaches, sometimes just an image, or, at other times a name, or the memory of a voice.

There was one image that always left him more confused and disturbed than any of the others, that of a tall, black clad man with dark golden hair and deep green eyes.

The nights were another matter. Vin rarely slept well, tossing and mumbling as he slept, waking, or half-waking from the dreams, some that were disturbing or even frightening, and others that inevitably led to him reaching out to Chanu, often calling him Mingan. On these occasions, they would spend much of the night locked in a lover's embrace, bodies eager for release.

Orenda and Kojay had both spoken with Chanu, concerned that he was forming a bond with a man who might not remember their time together once his memory returned. Chanu himself knew that this was true, but he still wanted to be there for his friend, and despite knowing that the relationship was built on sand...he was falling for his friend and brother...hard.

He could only hope that as Vin's memory returned, he would also remember the time that they were spending together, and that he might find that he had feelings for Chanu.

Chanu held on to that hope, right up to the night when Vin didn't call out for Mingan...but for Chris.

That night he realized that although Mingan was from Vin's past...Chris was from the present.

Chris was one of the men Vin worked with in town. And judging from the things Vin was saying as he slept, he was in love with Chris Larabee, the tall, steely eyed gunfighter.

Chanu rose early the next day and rode out, needing some time to think about what he'd heard.

If Vin and Chris were a bonded pair, then he had no right to stand between them. But if that were so, why was Vin out on his own, and why hadn't his mate come looking for him? Maybe Larabee didn't feel for the tracker what Vin felt for him, maybe Chanu and Vin could be together.

Chanu decided that he would not give Vin up unless he knew that Vin was happy with the gunfighter. And if that man didn't want Vin...Chanu certainly did.

He was frustrated, all that he had were ifs and maybes, and until Vin could remember, or until Josiah or one of the others came out to visit, he could only guess...and hope.

He returned to find Vin out at the remuda, brushing the big, fiesty black.

"My friend," he called out as Chanu rode up and slid off his paint, Nodin.

"Vin." Chanu reached out, taking the arm offered in a strong grip.

They worked together for a while in mostly comfortable silence until Chanu could not wait any longer. "Have you remembered any more?" He knew that at least in his dreams, Vin remembered Larabee.

Vin looked into Chanu's eyes, guessing that he must have spoken in his sleep again. "Some... but I'm not sure what is real and what is a dream...or a wish."

He blushed as he finished. "I have memories of a blond haired man, he and I..." He stopped and shook his head. "I'm not sure about anything, but I think he and I are, or were...involved."

He looked back into Chanu's eyes again, "I shouldn't have stayed with you...shared with you, I..." He paused, confused and feeling guilty.

"No, Vin." Chanu stopped him. "I knew that you didn't know who you were and I chose to be with you...I wanted to."

They both knew that the time they had shared might end soon, and neither was sure that it was a good thing. Finally Chanu spoke up. "Whatever happens, Vin, I'm glad we've had this time together, but I won't give up on us unless I'm sure that you really are happy with someone else."

Vin nodded and they finished with their horses and headed back to their lodge.

The next few days were a bit awkward, both wanting to be together but unsure if they should be.

And then Josiah arrived.

It had been almost three weeks since Chanu and Awanata had found Vin on the trail.In Four Corners life went on. The atmosphere had changed and no one doubted that the cause for the change was Vin Tanner.

His presence had always been a quiet one, but his absence rang loudly. And the rest of the seven weren't the only ones who missed the young tracker.

Many of the residents' lives had been touched by Tanner. He was always there to help Mrs. Potter unload when a wagon load of supplies came in, and Inez's supply of fresh meat was suddenly disrupted when Vin wasn't there to bring freshly snared birds, rabbits and the venison that he always brought her after a hunt. Tiny remarked that the chores at the stable seemed to be harder and take longer to finish without the Texan's quiet assistance. And then there was Nettie. Vin left with no word to the feisty older woman, and despite the brave front she put on, everyone knew that she missed her boy.

The six men who had worked and played with Vin were each handling his disappearance in their own way.

JD was still nagging the others about going after the missing man, while Buck, who actually agreed with his young friend, spent an equal amount of energy trying to keep JD otherwise occupied. He wanted to help JD look for Vin, but knew that neither Vin nor Chris would thank them if they did so.

Nathan was keeping busy with an outbreak of the flu, but worried nonetheless when he had a moment of quiet time. Hoping that Vin was well and taking care of his sensitive back.

Ezra played cards, complained about the lack of available players and, to the untrained eye, seemed to be living with a business as usual attitude. But Inez had noticed how he sometimes looked around the room, apparantly looking for one more face in the crowd...one that he never seemed to locate before turning back to the game.

Josiah spoke of callings, and the need for some people to take time alone in the wilderness. He alone seemed unconcerned that the man had been gone for most of a month and, when asked, seemed quite sure the the quiet man would be back when he was ready.

Chris Larabee was another matter. The past weeks had seemed like a replay of the past to Buck who watched as the man sank back into a dark place where the rest of the world was unwelcome. He was spending more and more time out at his cabin. Alone and putting up a front of wanting and needing no one. A front that fooled no one. Everyone knew... when Chris was out at the cabin, you didn't bother him. And if someone forgot that simple rule...or ignored it like Buck did the second week after Vin left, Chris made sure that the visitor knew the rule by the time he was escorted from Chris's land.

Without the quiet teasing and horseplay often initiated by Tanner, the tensions were starting to build up. When even Josiah's sagely advice was spurned first by JD then by both Buck and Nathan on the same afternoon, the ex-preacher decided that he needed some quiet time away of his own. He packed a bag and headed out the new reservation that Kojay and his people had been moved to.

He arrived late in the afternoon, and was only moderately surprised when he rode in to find Vin sitting in front of a small lodge with Chanu. He was a bit more surprised when some quietly shared words between the two men ended in gentle laughter and then, a passionate kiss.

Ah... Josiah thought, perhaps there is more to this disappearance than I realized... He backed quietly between a couple of lodges and decided to speak with Kojay before approaching Vin.

He found Kojay and they sat together, speaking of many things before finally settling on the topic that Josiah most wanted to discuss. "We found him almost a moon ago, he had fallen from his horse and hit his head, even now, Vin has almost no memory of the town or of his friends there." Kojay paused before continuing, "but I think that maybe he is now starting to remember some..."

"We've been worried," Josiah stated. "When Vin left, we thought he would return. He has left before to spend time away from town, he told one of the men he was leaving so we would know that he'd chosen to go, but he has never been gone this long before..." now Josiah paused. "We've all been concerned but Chris has been very upset...he and Vin were very close."

There was a short break while the two men pondered the information that they had exchanged. Josiah broke the silence with another question.

"You said that he fell, is he all right?" Josiah had seen men injured in falls who never were the same men again, and he wondered how it might affect the rest of the men if Vin was never the same man they knew.

"He still has very bad headaches," Kojay answered, "but not so bad as they were...and Chanu says that he has started to remember the town and the others just in the last few days."

Josiah was hesitant to ask about what he had seen as he arrived but Kojay knew what was on the man's mind and opened the subject.

"You saw Vin and Chanu...together." Not a question.

"Yes, and I'm concerned...I'm pretty sure Vin and Chris were involved and if Vin has forgotten...this might cause some problems for everyone involved."

"We have been worried about a possibility like that also, Chanu spoke to me just yesterday about some dreams that Vin has had, he called out for Chris."

Josiah sighed..."the Lord sometimes chooses to test our hearts."

"Yes," Kojay agreed..."the Maker sometimes lets Coyote play games that can cause great mischief."

They both shook their gray heads.

"Do you think I could talk to him...would it help him to remember?"

"Yes, I think it might be good, let us go to him and see if he remembers you."

Vin watched as Kojay and the big white man approached, his head ached some as he looked closely at the older man. There was something that felt familiar about the man.

Chanu watched Vin as he looked towards Kojay and the big preacher, he could see that Vin recognized the man. He reached over and took Vin's hand letting him know that he was there for him. Vin turned towards him for a moment and gave him a small smile of thanks and turned back as the two older men arrived.

The big man spoke in a gentle voice. "It's good to see you again, brother Vin." Josiah smiled. "We've all missed you."

Vin met the pale blue eyes and smiled as he had a flash of memory. "Crows..." He paused, then continued, "Josiah's crows."

Josiah smiled again. "Yeah, that's me...the crow man."

"I know you."

"I'd like to think that we are friends... brothers." Josiah knew that Vin was only getting a small glimpse of their friendship, but he was sure that his friend was still there, just a little bit lost in that inner wilderness.

They sat, sharing a meal and chatting about inconsequential things, Josiah and Kojay not wanting to pressure the younger man. They knew that Vin would gradually remember more and more of his past. How he would respond to those memories was anyone's guess.

Chanu watched Josiah, wary of the man, afraid of what he would do with the knowledge of Vin's presence there. He hoped to have more time with Vin, more time before he had to face the reality of what Vin would do when he remembered his life in the town. Would he ride back to that life, away from Chanu, and forget about the time they had shared?

Josiah could feel the tension and had seen the looks that Chanu was giving him, he knew that he would have to speak with the brave before he went back to town, but not today -- today he just wanted to enjoy the company of his friends and the beautiful day.

He spent several days with the tribe, visiting, cleansing his spirit in the sweat lodge, and meditating alone on a nearby hillside.

He spent some time with Vin, answering some of his questions about their life in the town and telling him a few stories about some of their collective exploits. Some of the stories had Vin nodding as he remembered parts of what the big man was relating, others left him with a blank, somewhat sad expression.

"It's all fine, Vin," the big man reassured him in one of those instances, "you'll remember... just give it time."

Vin nodded. He knew that, everyone told him that, but he was still frustrated when he would get a little piece of memory that didn't fit in, that reminded him that there was more... that there were pieces of his life that were missing.

And what bothered him as much as anything was that he was happy here, content, and he was afraid that there were things that he didn't remember that could, or would change things.

Maybe it would be better if he never remembered anything from the past.

He shook his head and stood, mumbling an apology to Josiah as he did. "Sorry, 'Siah, I jist need some time to think on all this." He turned and walked away, needing some time alone.

Chanu watched him go, he knew that Vin was torn, wanting to know who he had been, and wanting to be who he was now, and afraid that the two could not co-exist.

Josiah came and sat with Chanu. He knew that the young man was getting very attached to Vin...it was easy to see. It was the way he looked at Vin. And how he took care of Vin when one of the headaches struck. And in the way he looked at Josiah, afraid that the big man would force Vin to leave with him and go back to the town that Vin barely remembered.

"Chanu," Josiah began gently, "I'm not here to take him away from you," he paused, looking the young brave in the eyes, "but you have to know that when he remembers he might not want to stay here...with you." He knew what he was saying was hard for Chanu to hear, but he knew that Vin had some strong bonds in town and that there was no way to know what Vin would decide if, or when, he remembered. "It is our duty as friends to help him and support his decisions, whatever they are."

Chanu met the pale blue eyes, he knew that the man was right, and had known since the night Vin called out for Chris that he might lose Vin. He also knew that if that day came, his heart would ache. He nodded his head before responding. "I know, and as much as it might hurt, I want Vin to be happy. Whoever he chooses." He turned then and walked away.

Josiah left on the fourth day. He agreed to wait a while before telling the rest of the men of Vin's presence, but not indefinitely. They needed to know that he was alive and safe. He also wanted to send Nathan out to check on Vin.

Vin reluctantly agreed, but only if Josiah would send or bring Nathan alone, and not tell anyone else until Nathan was finished...it would give Vin a few more days -- days to remember, days to decide what he wanted to do. Days to decide where he wanted to be...and with whom.

Josiah spent the two day ride back to town thinking -- he had a lot to think about and some decisions that he needed to make before he got back.

He had seen the pain in Chris's eyes for the past weeks, and now, he had seen fear and confusion in Vin's eyes. Vin needed time to sort out the memories he'd regained and time to find the ones that still eluded him, but Chris and the others needed to know that Vin was alive, that he hadn't necessarily chosen to stay away for so long. Or had he? Perhaps when memory returned, Vin would choose to leave for good. Perhaps that was his intent when he left, now almost a full month ago.

Josiah knew that whatever he decided, it might not be the best choice for Vin. Might not be the one he would make himself, especially if his memory was complete. Josiah had spent at least a part of his time at the reservation pondering these very questions. and still the answers seemed to float just out of his grasp, mocking him in his indecision.

Josiah finally decided to do what had served him best over his years -- that was to follow his heart, to do what felt right. With that decision made he picked up the pace, realizing that if he hurried there might still be a serving of chicken and dumplings left at the boarding house dining room.

There was, and as Josiah tucked into his meal he was joined by Nathan. The others were just finishing their dinners and leaving, but Nathan poured another cup of coffee and sat down to catch up on news with the ex-preacher.

"Brother Nathan," Josiah greeted as the healer sat, "you're just the person I need to talk to."

Josiah outlined what had happened as Vin left town and reported what the shaman had told him about the progress that Vin had made...and what kinds of problems he was still experiencing. Nathan responded almost exactly as Josiah had predicted, making immediate plans to travel to the reservation and check up on Vin himself. He realized then, that Josiah had returned before the others had finished, and had not said anything about Vin prior to their departure from the dining room.

"You didn't say anything to Chris and the others," Nathan asked, wondering why Josiah would not share the good news immediately.

Josiah nodded, then looked into the dark eyes as he replied. "Vin still isn't himself, he has only bits and pieces of memories of his time here and is afraid that we will try to force him to leave the reservation."

"This is his home, Josiah," Nathan countered. He was even a little surprised that Josiah hadn't brought Vin back with him.

"No..." Josiah argued, "right now his home is where he feels safe, and at the moment he feels safe out there. He spent a lot of years living with the people, when he was young the Kiowa took him in, then he spent time with a couple other tribes...he remembers that time, not us."

Nathan sighed, realizing that Josiah was probably right. "I'll head out tomorrow, but I still think we should tell the others, we've all been worried."

"I know, Nathan," Josiah sighed himself, "and I told Vin that I would have to tell them, but that I would give him a little bit more time. Maybe once he remembers more he'll feel safer, maybe he'll want to come home."

"I hope so, Josiah, because if Chris finds out that we know where Vin is and haven't told him...."

"Amen, brother," Josiah agreed.

The next few days were difficult ones for Vin, and for Chanu. Josiah's visit had released a flood of memories for Vin, and not all of them were good ones. He was trying to put the images and people into perspective but there was too much information that didn't make sense. Now he often felt even more confused than when he had no memory.

For Chanu it wasn't confusion so much as it was realization.

The weeks that they had been together felt like a new beginning, but now as Vin remembered more from his recent past, Chanu knew that their days together were coming to an end, even if Vin didn't know it yet.

From the start their shared sex had been sweet and loving. Even when Vin believed him to be his former mate, Mingan. During the past week their time together had been much the same...except at the times when Vin had turned to him during the night, the times when Vin had called him Chris. During these times their mating was sweet and loving...and passionate and so much more intense than any of their other encounters.

What Chanu now realized was that Vin loved him...but that he was in love with Larabee...that what Vin felt for the blond gunfighter was a complete commitment, a bond that Chanu knew did not exist between the tracker and himself.

And he knew that once Vin remembered what he already knew in his dreams, that he must say goodbye.

And knowing that, he stayed with Vin, savoring each hour they had together, treating each moment as if it were their last together...because it might well be.

Vin still had headaches but they were fewer and less painful, and the returning memories came frequently during the day, sometimes just a small piece, sometimes a whole day, event...or person.

The day Nathan arrived Vin had risen and, after washing and dressing, told Chanu that he would soon need to return to town, that he needed to see the people who were crowding into his head. To know for sure what was real and what might only be dreams or hopes.

Chanu only nodded, he'd known that this day was coming.

Vin wasn't surprised when Nathan arrived and put up with most of his poking and prodding before finally standing up and declaring that they were done. He admitted that he was still having some headaches, but also insisted that they weren't bad and that he was remembering more and more from his time in town.

After checking on Vin, Nathan spoke with Orenda and Kojay, and they all argeed that Vin was doing much better and that it was up to Vin to choose where he stayed. He was welcome to stay with the tribe for a long as he wanted, but both Kojay and Orenda felt that he should at least visit the town so that he could remember as much from his past as possible before making any final choices. They spoke to Vin and Chanu and found that the two younger men agreed with them.

Vin was still a bit unsure but agreed to return with Nathan in a day or two since Nathan wanted to spend some time visiting with the shaman and collecting some herbs and roots that grew nearby.

Back in town Josiah went back to work on the church that he would probably never finish restoring, but would work on nearly every day in the attempt. It was mid morning when JD came in and asked him if he knew where Nathan was, one of the local children had twisted his ankle and his parents wanted Nathan to check and make sure that it wasn't broken.

"I'm sorry, JD, Nathan went out to the reservation to check up on Vin." Josiah answered, only realizing that he'd spoken the last part aloud when JD stared at him accusingly as he replied. "You knew where Vin was and didn't tell anyone."

"No, JD," Josiah responded, "I told Nathan."

"How come Nathan is checking him? Is he hurt? Does Chris know?"

Josiah was about to answer when he heard another question.

"Does Chris know what?" Larabee asked as he walked the rest of the way into the building.

JD answered. "Vin's at the reservation, Nathan went out to check on him, and Josiah didn't tell anyone else."

Chris turned to face the big man. "That so, Josiah?"

Josiah nodded and started to explain, but Larabee was already heading out the door.

"Damnit, JD," Josiah breathed, "there were reasons that we didn't tell anyone."

It was too late to stop the storm named Larabee, as they heard the sound of hoofbeats. He would, no doubt, reach the reservation shortly after Nathan arrived.

It was mid afternoon when Chris rode into the village. Nathan and Orenda were out collecting medicinal plants, and many of the people were scattered around the area collecting firewood and other necessities.

Vin was spending the day resting after a particularly bad headache. Before they left Nathan fixed some of his famous horse piss tea which Vin drank and then lay down to rest.

He slept for a while, waking after another vivid dream about the tall blond haired man, Chris...the name echoed in his mind. Just the thought of the lean dark clad body sent a shiver of pleasure running down his spine.

He knew this man...loved him.

But was that love returned? Or was this a case of hopeless infatuation? His dreams said otherwise, but were they fact, or just his own wishful thinking?

The dream had left him hard and frustrated. If Chanu was there they would have spent the next hour in each other's arms, bodies locked together as they brought each other to completion.

He thought about Chanu. He liked and respected the young man, maybe even loved him like a brother, and could easily picture himself settling here with him. But he knew deep down that he wasn't in love with him... not the the way he felt when he dreamed about Chris.

His head still hurt, but Vin knew that he wouldn't sleep any more and so he got up, went outside, and sat in the shade under the small tree next to the lodge.

As Chris rode in he saw Vin sitting by a small lodge. He took in a deep breath. Vin was alive.

Maybe a bit pale, but living and breathing.

After a month of worrying, Chris felt elated and enraged at the same time. How could Vin let him wonder, thinking that he was dead for all this time and just be sitting here like nothing had happened

Well, today Vin would be answering some of those questions.

"Vin." Chris managed to keep his voice even as he approached Vin.

Vin had been listening to the voice in his head all morning. The smoky, soft voice that had haunted his nights all week, the voice that called to him even now. He shook his head, muttering through the pain that still clouded his senses. "Why won't you let me be?"

Vin still hadn't looked at him and rather than answer he muttered something that Chris couldn't quite hear, so Chris took another step, standing directly in front of Vin as he sat, head down, hand buried in his long, sunbleached, tangled hair.

"Vin," Chris repeated softly.

Vin looked up, eyes wide as if he hadn't heard Chris's approach or first call.

"Chris..." Vin's voice soft and raspy, the words spoken as if he'd just woken from a dream.

"Yeah," Chris answered, unsettled by the wild look in Vin's eyes, "You wanna tell me what you're doing out here? Why you disappeared without a word?"

Vin was caught in that green gaze, unable to answer a question that didn't make sense, and unsure if his memories of this man had anything to do with the reality staring at him waiting for an answer.

There was a long moment of silence, Chris could hear the blood rushing in his head as he felt his anger rising once again. He took a deep breath knowing that with Vin, anger was the wrong approach, but he only managed to damp down a portion of the resentment that had built up for the past month. And all Vin did was sit there.

"Look at me, Vin," Chris demanded.

Vin was beginning to panic. His head was throbbing, Chris was standing right there in front of him and he sounded angry. Vin didn't understand the questions he was asking, he didn't know what Chris wanted from him.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Chris spat out. He was hot and tired, he'd damn near ridden Pony into the ground getting here and all he could get out of Vin was I don't know. "What the hell is wrong with you, Vin? We finally quit dancing around the truth, decided to...damn Vin, you just up and left...why?"

Just as Chris let out the frustrations that had been building up for the past month, Chanu arrived. He looked at Vin, still sitting with his head down, and up at Chris standing over him and dove at the black clad man. The two men tumbled to the ground.

Vin looked up as he heard the inarticulate growl and saw the men hit the ground.

Vin stood, realizing that his past and present had just collided. His life in two very different worlds had just come face to face and neither was happy to see the other.

"NO...stop....please." Vin reached down, trying to grab an arm, to stop these men before someone got hurt, before someone he cared about...or loved, hurt another person that he cared about.

Just as Vin reached down Chris flipped Chanu over, knocking the Indian into Vin who fell back against the lodge.

By this time several others had arrived and at Kojay's nod, they pulled the men apart -- both still fighting against the men who held them.

Vin looked up at them, his eyes filling. "Please don't." He started to get up, taking the hand Kojay offered. He considered simply leaving but knew that he had to face these men...find out where they stood, and make his decision.

He turned back to face the two men. They had both stopped struggling but still glared at each other.

"Chanu..." Vin called softly, "it's all right, you don't need to protect me."

He looked at Chris then. "You're right, we need to talk, I just don't know if I have any answers for you right now." He turned to the others. "Please, leave us...I'm sorry if we disturbed you, we'll leave if you want."

Kojay smiled sadly. "No, you sit, you talk..."

"Thank you, Kojay." Vin turned to Chanu. "We need to talk too, but right now I need to talk to Chris."

Chanu nodded and turned to leave. "I'll be nearby, just call if you need me."

Vin nodded his thanks and sat down heavily on the log he had been sitting on earlier. He looked up at Chris and indicted another log with a gesture. Chris sat. They both were silent, looking at each other's eyes, blue and green, both full of hurt and questions.

Finally Chris spoke.

Why, Vin?" He paused again, trying to get his emotions under control. "Why did you leave...why are you here...I..?" He stopped himself, too proud to admit how worried he'd been. To admit how much he'd missed Vin, how much he wanted...needed him. He clenched his fists, fighting the impulse to grab the man and wrap him in his arms...that or punch him in the face.

I don't know, Chris...I..." Vin stopped, how could he tell him that he dreamed of him, that he didn't know if the dreams were real or not.

"You don't know!" Chris repeated. "You walk away without a word and a month later all you can say is you don't know..."

"There are so many things that I don't remember... after I fell. I remember more every day, but a lot of it is mixed up. I don't remember leaving."

This was the first time Chris had heard about Vin's fall and his missing memories.

"You don't remember me?" Chris asked, shocked that no one had said anything to him.

The blue eyes looked at him, hearing some anger still, but more confusion and frustration. Vin didn't know what to say to this angry man. He remembered a memory he had that morning...he and Chris were together...in bed. They were holding each other...

God...what was real?

"What do you want, Chris?" Vin asked. His voice shook, the tension and the pain shooting through his skull were becoming unbearable.

"I want to know why you left me?" Chris asked leaning closer to look into those blue eyes, to read the veracity in the words he hoped to hear.

Vin met his eyes. "I remember some things...but I'm not sure what is real." He turned then, a blush rising on his cheeks. "Are we...you and me...?"

Chris smiled gently. "Yes, Vin...we are."

Vin felt a wave of relief sweep through himself. He still had questions and he still needed time to sort things out, but those two words...we are, echoed loudly in his mind. He closed his eyes, his head still aching but somehow right now that didn't matter so much...they were together.

Chris could see now that he took the time to look, that Vin was spent, and obviously in pain. He needed answers, but not as badly as Vin needed rest.

"Rest, Vin," Chris said as he gently took the hand that was knotted into Vin's hair, loosened the grip on the tangled strands, and pulled it into his own hands rubbing the muscles until Vin finally unclenched it. "We can talk later."

Vin raised his head looking into Chris's face, searching for clues. Chris still had his hand, holding it gently. He realized that since Chris had pulled his hand out of his hair, his scalp didn't hurt quite so much. He smiled a slightly bitter smile. He hadn't even realized how much it hurt until Chris had stopped him. Lord, if he could just think clearly for an hour maybe he could figure out what the hell was going on.

He finally nodded, yes, he needed to rest.

When Vin didn't move Chris realized that he was past the point of having the will to move. He was starting to reach for Vin when Nathan appeared at his side.

"He needs to rest, Chris."

"I know that, Nathan. I was just going to help him."

Nathan nodded, realizing that Chris could see what was so plain to himself, Vin was asleep on his feet.

They led...or, rather, carried Vin into the lodge, ducking into the low structure. Pulling a thick hide up over the already sleeping man Nathan looked at Chris. "How did you find out he was here?"

"Doesn't matter, Nathan, but we need to talk before he wakes up."

They both looked at the sleeping man, then turned and went out.

They sat nearby while Nathan explained what he knew and why they hadn't told Chris yet. Vin had asked them for a little more time to make sense of his returning memories.

Chris was frustrated and still a little angry but he could also understand why they had done what they did.

"I just wish someone had told me about Vin, that he didn't remember things before I asked him questions that just made things worse."

"Yeah, like I said, we were gonna tell you. You just got here a bit sooner than we figured."

They sat then in silence watching as the sun set before joining Kojay and the others for a meal. Morning would be soon enough to figure out their next move.

Chanu watched as Vin and Chris sat together, he could see that Vin was hurting and wanted to go to him but he held back once he realized that the blond could see it too. He watched the man take Vin's hand from his hair and hold it in his own, soothing him the same way Chanu would have.

He watched the healer arrive and held back while they helped Vin into the lodge, staying for a short while before they moved away to join Kojay and the elders for dinner.

Once they left Chanu slipped inside. Vin was sleeping quietly but he knew that soon he would dream and become restless. He slipped out of his pants and tunic and slid inder the skins with Vin. He knew that this might well be their last night together.

Chris rose early, but found that most of the village was awake and already busy with the day's work. He took a cup of coffee from the pot Nathan had already prepared, and headed over to the lodge where Vin slept.

He ducked inside and was surprised, and a bit jealous, to see two men curled under the hides.

Vin was still sleeping but Chanu turned to Chris when he entered. He signaled for Chris to remain quiet and rose, grabbing his pants and shirt on his way outside.

Chanu dressed quickly and turned to face Chris, his face unreadable. "I know that his heart is yours," Chanu began, his voice sad but taking on an edge as he continued, "but know that I care for him too. If you ever hurt him you will have to answer to me."

Chris listened, jealous and angry at first, but as the words Chanu spoke registered he realized that Chanu cared for Vin, too. That he had spent the past month caring for his injured friend and, despite knowing that Vin loved another, he was concerned for Vin's happiness...even if it meant losing him to another. He met the dark eyes. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Chanu just nodded and turned away. His emotions too close to the surface to stay here in the presence of the one who would take Vin from him.

Chris walked back to the lodge and looked inside, Vin still slept. He entered quietly and sat down next to him, leaning back into the hides watching Vin as he slept.

Vin was aware when Chanu slipped out of the lodge, feeling an emptiness and loss. He recalled the arrival of Chris and knew that it was time for him to return to the town that he still barely remembered. He hoped that once there he would regain more memories of his time there.

He dozed for a while, then felt another presence. He remained still, reaching out with his senses... the smell of tobacco and whisky...Chris was here with him.

He rolled over to find the man stretched out beside him, awake but relaxed as he waited for Vin to wake up. He wondered briefly if Chanu had left before the black clad man had arrived.

"Morning, Vin." Chris said softly. "You feeling any better today?"

Vin nodded slowly. "Think so, but I ain't done nothing yet so I can't be sure."

"Got a pot of coffee ready." Chris indicated his now empty cup.

"I remember coffee," Vin said emphatically as he sat up and reached for his clothes.

"Figures..." Chris groused, "ya remember coffee but forget about me."

"Chris...I," Vin looked away, taking a deep breath. "I been with Chanu...at first I thought he was someone else...someone from a long time ago. But later...I wanted to be with him."

"I know, and it doesn't make me real happy...but what's important is now...who do you want to be with now?"

"'M not sure, Chris...I still don't remember much, but I think that my feelings for you are...more?" He paused, looking up to meet the green eyes. "What we had...was it more?"

"When we met, Vin, our souls knew each other, we were like one," he paused, "and there was more, but it took us a while to figure that part out... or at least it took me a while. I think you knew for a long time." Chris reached over and took Vin's hand again. "I want you to come back with me... we're meant to be together."

Vin nodded and sighed. "That fits with what I remember." He looked back at Chris and smiled shyly. "I already told Chanu that I needed to go back to town."

They sat for a few minutes, content to simply be there together until Vin moved to get up. "So, where're you hiding that coffee, Larabee?"

They joined Nathan by his tent, drank coffee and prepared for their trip back to town.

Nathan insisted that they take it slow and easy, knowing that Vin was likely to have a rough time if one of the headaches hit while they were traveling. He'd spoken to Chanu about the trip to the village with Vin and knew that even though Vin was doing a lot better he was still far from being completely well.

They ate a light meal and were planning to leave soon after. Vin finished eating and went down to the other side of the village looking for Chanu. He wanted to speak with him before they left but hadn't seen him since he'd slipped out of the lodge earlier that morning.

He finally found Awanata who told him that Chanu had ridden out earlier. He'd asked Awanata to tell Vin that he would speak to him later... in a few days or weeks, that he needed some time to himself.

Vin was unhappy to be leaving without saying goodbye, but knew that in a way, he and Chanu had been saying it for several days...maybe Chanu was right, maybe they needed some time.

Time for Vin to find out if his memories of Chris Larabee were anything close to the reality. To find out if he would be happy there, or would end up back here. He'd had a feeling of peace living here and if life in town turned out to be something less, he hoped that he could return.

He rejoined Chris and Nathan, they finished packing, said their goodbyes and thanks to Kojay and the rest and left.

They would only get part way back today, but they were on their way. Vin riding Peso, Chris on Pony beside him, and Nathan riding slightly behind so he could keep an eye on his patient.

As they rode out, Chanu sat in a sheltered spot just outside of the village. His eyes were damp as he watched Vin ride away.

The trip was an easy two day ride. It could be done faster, Chris had just made it in just over one, but today it seemed that it would be endless.

Vin tried to keep himself upright.

Tried to hide his pain.

And, when all was said and done, failed miserably.

The men riding with him knew him too well...even if he barely remembered them.

They managed to make it nearly one-third of the way back before Nathan called a halt. They were close to a decent camping area near to a small stream. Vin was hanging onto Peso with a deathgrip on his saddle and another in the black's thick mane. His eyes were nearly shut in an attempt to block out the light that seemed to sear directly into his brain.

Chris and Nathan both dismounted and were prying Vin's fingers from the saddlehorn before he even realized that they had stopped.

"'M fine," Vin grunted out as they helped him off the black.

"Yeah," Nathan agreed, "we know."

They laid him down onto his bedroll and left him to sleep while they set up the camp.

"Looks like it's gonna be a long ride back," Nathan commented as he gathered firewood.

Chris nodded and glanced back at the sleeping man. "Yeah...but we got him back."

Chris took on Vin's usual chore, bringing back a couple small fowl and one very straggly rabbit. "Hope he's feeling better soon," he shook his head as he dropped the meager offerings by the fire, "or we're gonna get pretty hungry."

Nathan smiled, thinking about how the Texan always managed to come back with enough food, no matter how sparse the land. "Yeah, he does seem to know where to look."

The put the birds on spits and chopped the rabbit into a stew, and despite Chris's comments, it was enough for three men.

Vin slept until Chris woke him with a dish of stew and a slightly blackened biscuit. Vin sniffed at the dish, then dug in, hungry despite being completely worn out.

They drank coffee and talked quietly as the sun set, Vin asking about some of the things he recalled, testing to see if the images were real or just dreams. He was getting bits and pieces that included all of the seven and many of the local townsfolk. He groaned when he realized that Nettie was going to have his hide for leaving without saying goodbye.

Chris firmly refused to act as middleman for that particular reunion.

They were asleep before long and awoke with the dawn, readying themselves and the horses for another long day.

The did better the second day, traveling far enough that they reached town by early the following afternoon.

As the three men rode into town they were spotted by JD who ran to get Buck and Ezra. By the time they met up in the street many of the local residents had joined the impromptu welcome party.

Vin was barely able to stay upright and began to panic as more and more people converged upon them.

Josiah was approaching and could see that Nathan and Chris were having a hard time keeping Vin calm. He waded into the crowd, gently pushing them back, asking them to move back and let Nathan see to the recovering man.

Nathan and Chris led Vin into the boarding house and up to Vin's little used room. They opened the door and led him inside.

Vin looked around the sparsly furnished room and shook his head. "Don't remember this place."

Chris smiled as he replied, "Not surprised there, pard, you almost never sleep here."

Nathan glared at Chris before he could say any more.

They were attempting to strip Vin's jacket and pants off and get him into the bed but Vin was determined to make it as hard as possible.

After a third try Nathan lost his patience. "That's it, I've had it, you can take care of yerself."

Vin just looked back at the frustrated healer. "That's what I been trying ta tell ya all day. I can take care of myself... don't need no one fussin' over me."

Chris sat down on the rickity chair in the corner and laughed, catching the attention of both Vin and Nathan. They turned as one and stared at the chuckling man.

"Just what the heck is so funny, Larabee?" Vin and Nathan said at almost the same time.

Chris just shook his head and waved at the scene in front of him. "Just like old times, that's all."

Nathan looked at Vin and then back at Chris and sat down on the edge of the bed running a hand through his short hair. "Yep, you're right there, he's just as stubborn as ever."

"Ain't stubborn...just 'cause I don't want anybody grabbin' at my clothes."

Now Nathan had to laugh, too. "Okay, you win...I'll be over with some tea." He turned to Chris. "You can get him settled."

"Don't need no horse piss neither."

Nathan threw up his hands and left, muttering about ungrateful, stubborn, idiots who didn't know enough to come in outta the rain.

Vin turned to Chris and mouthed rain?

Despite the fight he put up, Vin was spent. Once Nathan left and Chris quit pushing he decided that he could use a short nap and, taking off his boots, he laid down on the bed.

Minutes later Chris pulled the well used quilt up over the sleeping man before settling back into the chair to watch over the sleeper.

The next few days were...challenging. Vin was just as unwilling to take it easy here in town as he had been out at the reservation. He claimed that he needed to get out and about in order to see who and what he remembered, and what still seemed unfamiliar. But at the same time he was trying to avoid the attention of the same people that he was trying to fit into his frame of reference. Needless to say, there were times when Nathan or one of the others were almost ready to deliver him back to Kojay's keeping.

Chris was just happy to shadow him as he moved about town. He didn't care what Vin was up to as long as he could be nearby, watching and ready to move in if he sensed that Vin needed him.

The regulators had informed the locals about Vin's memory...or lack thereof, and asked them to be patient and not to crowd him as he reoriented himself to the town, and most of them had been happy to help out, with a few notable exceptions.

Mary Travis was one of the exceptions. She insisted that Vin should spend time in the company of as many people as possible, claiming that it would help him to remember them. Nathan disagreed, especially after he realized that the tension of being in the presence of too many unfamiliar faces seemed to bring on the headaches that still struck all too often.

Ezra claimed that it was more likely that she was just trying to stay as close to Chris as possible...a pattern that he'd noticed over the past months. She had her sights set on the tall blond almost since the day he'd arrived in town, and recently she seemed to have decided that it was time for him to start courting her in earnest.

Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the one he was interested in.

His attempts to politely dissuade her had gone either unnoticed or ignored by the determined widow. Now, as he was trying to reestablish his relationship with Vin, her blatant flirtations were becoming more and more annoying.

It was Thursday evening, and that meant chicken and dumplings at the boarding house -- the one meal that all of the men showed up for if at all possible, but especially Vin. He would generally eat the meals provided as part of their payment for keeping the peace, but really preferred simple trail fare or some of Inez's dishes. Except for dumpling night. This was definitely his favorite. Chris and Vin walked from the saloon to the dining room, a big low ceilinged room with heavy trestle tables. The food was served family style in bowls and platters. They took their usual place at the back corner of the room and dug into the meal. The room was comfortably full, but not overcrowded, and noisy enough that they could converse without worrying about anyone overhearing. Vin's memories were beginning to make more sense and the gaps were getting fewer.

Vin left his half-finished dinner and excused himself to step out back to use the privy. Nathan had finally allowed him to have a beer earlier that afternoon, and his bladder was reminding him of that treat.

Just moments after he left, Mary appeared at the door. She scanned the room and headed towards Chris as soon as she spotted him.

"Chris, I've been looking for you all afternoon," she gushed as she sat down in Vin's place, pushing the plate aside. "I wanted you to come over for dinner."

Chris glared at her then, as she signaled for the serving woman to take away Vin's meal, he spoke, his voice low, and menacing. "That is Vin's meal, and his seat, and as you can plainly see I am already having dinner." He waved the woman who would have taken Vin's plate, away. "Vin will be back in a moment and I think it would be better if you left."

Mary's jaw dropped, shocked that he would rather eat here, with Vin, than at her dining table but also realizing that he had been worried about his friend and would want to spend some time with him. She decided to retreat for the moment.

"I'm sorry, I should have invited you earlier. How about tomorrow?" She smiled and reached over to take his hand.

Vin had just reached the back door and was heading in when he looked up and saw Mary sitting with Chris at the table, their hands clasped on the table. The image of another night with Chris and Mary together at a table emerged...this one lit by candles seen through the lace curtains of her window. Vin backed out, his hand to his head as the memory of why he'd left town pounded into his skull. He gasped as he realized that once again he'd been a blind fool. He turned to leave.

Chris looked up as he shook off Mary's hand and saw Vin turn away.

"Damn," he swore, and grinned coldly at Mary's gasp. He rose, once again shaking off her hand as she reached out to grab his arm. He turned towards her, still swearing under his breath. "Let go..." Then as she stood, once again getting between him and his destination, he simply brushed past her, but the delay was enough. By the time he reached the door, Vin was out of sight.

He ran out, looking down the darkening street.

No Vin.

He spent the next few minutes looking at the saloon, then up in Vin's room to no avail. He realized that Vin must have seen Mary holding his hand and misread the situation.

A chill ran up has spine as he realized this was somehow familiar. He remembered the night that Vin left, how Mary had come on to him when the Judge had insisted he stay for dinner. Could Vin have seen them?

Could that be why Vin had left?

Did he think that he wanted to be with Mary?

It would explain a lot.

He swore some more, remembering that he had intended to let Vin know that he'd gotten a note from the Judge that night, requesting his presence at the Travis house for a business conference. He hadn't stopped to tell Vin because he thought that he would be done and back in just a few minutes. But, on arriving had been roped into joining them for a meal.

Now, again, in a haunting repeat of that night, Vin was nowhere to be found.

Chris stood in the street and looked around again, his eye catching the livery as he turned.

Vin had left town the last time...now, if he remembered...

Chris ran to the livery and burst in the door. Peso was gone. Vin was gone.

Not again.

He grabbed his tack and readied Pony, this time he was pretty sure which direction Vin would take. Where he would go...who he would go to.

He mounted Pony and headed out.

Vin had been riding for almost two hours, Peso keeping a steady, but fairly slow pace in the near dark. The black was surefooted and could have kept on all night...but Vin was not doing as well. He swayed again, jerking awake as he realized that he'd nearly fallen asleep and out of the saddle. He rubbed his hand over his face, then looked around trying to get a feel for where he was.

His anger had faded leaving only sadness and hurt feelings, but as he looked around he also started to think.

Why?

Why would Chris bother to come out and bring him back into town if he didn't want him?

Why didn't any of this feel right...what was he missing?

He thought some more, going over that past few days in his head.

All he saw was Chris...standing nearby no matter where he was.

Chris, watching him as he moved around town, thinking that he wouldn't notice that he had a shadow.

Vin stopped Peso. He sat there for a long moment, visualizing....

Then from a place deep inside he had an answer.

Chris headed out of town. He didn't care that it was a nearly moonless night, or that he really didn't know for sure where Vin was heading. He only knew that Vin had ridden out, into the dark, and this time he wasn't going to sit in town, waiting.

He turned towards the reservation, Vin would feel safe there and... Chanu was there.

He'd pushed Pony faster than he should in the darkness, wanting to catch up but finally letting the horse slow down. He would ride tonight, and tomorrow, and for as long as it took for him to catch up with Vin.

To talk to Vin...to set things right.

It was only a short time later when Pony neighed a greeting to an approaching horse, and despite the darkness, he could see as the rider came a little closer that it was Peso and Vin.

They both kept moving until they were standing together on the dark road.

Vin looked up into the green eyes that reflected the faint rays of moonlight. "Chris."

Chris met Vin's gaze as he slid off Pony and took the one step to reach up and take Vin's hand. "It's not what it looked like, Vin,"

"I know. I kinda figured that out a ways back."

"That's why you left, before."

Vin nodded. "Yeah." He shook his head. "Thought you wanted to be with her."

"But we were together, Vin. Why would I want Mary?"

"Thought you just wanted me, ya know, for sex...since she's a proper lady and all." He paused, lowering his head. "I just couldn't stand fer ya to use me like that."

Chris shook his head, realizing that sometimes their unspoken communications failed them...and when they needed them the most

"I don't want her, Vin, I never did. There's only one person I want and I'm holding on to you right now and I'm not gonna let you go."

"Feel like an idiot..." Vin started, but Chris stopped him.

"No, I should've told you that the Judge sent for me...but I thought that I'd be right back, got there and he insisted that I stay for dinner. Now, thinking on it I'm pretty sure she put him up to it." He paused then, looking into Vin's eyes. "What happened that night?"

Vin met his eyes. "Not sure I remember it all, but I remember seeing you come out of the boarding house, thought you were coming fer me...but you went there." He sighed, shaking his head before continuing, the moonlight catching and reflecting off the long strands of his hair. "I waited, knew the Judge was there, figured you needed to talk to him. But then you didn't come back. I went down there and I could see you and her...Judge was gone, and so was Billy. I figured that it was just you and her...so I left."

Chris listened, remembering the night clearly, how frustated he'd been, the Judge insisting that he needed to talk then making him wait through dinner, then when it got later the Judge taking Billy up to bed and spending too much time reading the boy a bedtime story. More likely trying to play matchmaker for his daughter-in-law.

"It wasn't like that, Vin." Chris held Vin's hand tighter when he would have pulled away. "The Judge was there but he took Billy up to bed, I think he was trying to give Mary and I time together. I just wanted to leave." He paused again. "And tonight, I really was trying to get her to leave, Buck jokes about how she's trying to get me to the altar, but I don't think it's funny and if she didn't get the message tonight I'm gonna make sure she does."

The wind blew, ruffling Vin's hair in a way that made Chris jealous...right now he wanted nothing more than to run his hands through those silky locks. He reached up and ran his hand down the side of Vin's face, his eyes meeting the darkened ones watching him. "Vin, I know that you don't remember everything, but know this. It's you that I want...that I love."

Vin looked down into Chris's eyes and could see only truth...and love. He leaned down, taking the hand from his face into his own. "Think I'm starting to figure that out, sorry to be so much trouble." He placed a gentle kiss on the soft lips.

"You're trouble, Tanner." Chris said with a grin. "But you're worth it." He reached up to finally run a hand through Vin's hair, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss.

As Vin leaned farther he started to slide from the saddle and would have fallen if Chris hadn't caught and helped him regain his balance.

"You know...I think we should take this somewhere more private." He nodded to Peso who was starting to fidget, and Pony who waited patiently. "We're closer to my cabin than to town..." Chris smiled as he remembered the last night they had spent together there.

Vin felt a rush of desire hit him when he saw that smile...the one he'd seen only a few times on his lover's face, and only when they were alone. "Let's ride, Cowboy," he drawled, letting that desire deepen and draw out his words.

They rode, side by side, the moon shining throught the leaves, picking out highlights in Chris's blond hair and reflecting the silver buttons on his duster. Vin's hide coat absorbing the dim light while the moonbeams picked out a stray curl and a sensual glitter in his eyes.

They made it back to the cabin, barely, both men shifting in their saddles as they anticipated the hours to come.

They managed to get the horses settled and headed inside, neither speaking as they worked, their movements practiced and efficient.

Until they entered the cabin.

They had spent one night here, more than a month ago. Now, they were ready to pick up where they had left off...tonight they would continue to chart their way through the territory they'd only begun to explore.

As he closed the door behind them, Chris reached out to Vin, pulling the lean frame against his own sleek body. His black denim pants were already too tight as his sex strained towards the body he craved like no other. They slammed into the wall, thrusting desperately, needing to get closer. Their mouths locked together, tongues dancing, moans and grunts co-mingled as they pushed up from the depths of their throats.

They pulled back after a time, gasping for air, hands still entwined in the silky strands of short blond and longer brown hair.

"Need to feel you," Chris gasped out as he pushed Vin's coat off his shoulders, down his arms and let it drop to the floor, his hands reaching for the lace up placket on the cotton shirt beneath.

Vin's hands slid around and under the black shirt Chris wore, tugging the tails out of the tight jeans as he slid his hands up, finding the heated flesh beneath.

With a low growl, Chris pulled Vin's shirt up over his head, letting it drop somewhere near to where the hide coat had landed. Now he started on the longjohns, slipping the big buttons through the well stretched holes, pushing the soft material off the strong shoulders. He followed his hands with moist lips, licking his way down the shoulders onto the collarbones, nibbling and licking as he headed south.

Vin staggered under the sensual assault, his knees weak from anticipation and need.

Chris caught him and decided that they needed to get horizontal before they landed hard. He turned Vin and steered him towards the back corner where the bed stood. He reached down, shoving the heavy quilt aside, and pushed Vin down onto the soft mattress. He reached down to finish unbuttoning Vin's pants and pull them off along with the longjohns, pausing to slide the boots off and letting them drop onto the floor with a thump. He straightened, inhaled deeply in order to unbutton his own tight black denim, his sex springing out as the fabric parted.

He heard Vin's intake of breath as he wriggled out of the clinging material and looked up to meet blue eyes dialated with desire. He grinned, finishing his disrobing with an extra shake of his ass. He pulled the shirt over his head and stood, lean and naked, eyes roving over his equally naked partner before climbing into the bed.

Vin leaned back as Chris climbed onto the bed, up and over Vin's supine body, easing himself down, chest to chest, groin to groin, hardened shafts sliding together, he raised his head and took the swollen lips with his own.

Vin's body was covered by Chris as he slid sensually on top of him, sensation running through him like lightning as their erections met and he thrust up against the matching hardness, slick with precum. They were too close, the tension too strong, both men losing control almost instantly as they thrust frantically together. They cried out in completion almost before they had begun, collapsing together onto the mattress. Hearts beating fast, breath loud and irregular.

The rested for a few minutes only, bodies cooling slightly as they recovered.

Chris was aware moments later of a hardness pressing into his groin...he smiled as he reached up to lick the lips that had been nibbling his ear. "You forget to take off your maresleg...or ya just glad to see me?"

Vin answered with a growl of his own as he thrust back up against the body that still blanketed him. "Mmm, guess I'm kinda glad to see ya...think yer little colts are up to another session?"

"I'll show you little," Chris snarled as he rose up, leaning over and licking down the spare chest, following the fine line of hair that led straight down Vin's belly like a line on a map to heaven. The tongue followed that map straight to the treasure hidden below. He swirled it up over the rosy head, lapping at the slit before licking down the shaft to the base and then moving lower to lick the hardening sack.

Vin moaned and writhed as the tongue traced a path of wet fire down his over heated body. He gasped as the agile tongue lapped at his balls and swore as Chris lifted his legs and the wet tip rimmed his hole.

"Jesus, God, Chris." His body jerked as the sensation sent him into overload. When the tongue pushed inside he switched to incoherent Kiowian.

Chris held the writhing body, surprised and pleased with the reaction. He moved a finger in as he pulled his tongue back, sliding easily in and out, Vin open and ready for more.

Using a second and third finger to make sure, Chris withdrew and moved up to kiss Vin gently.

"You ready?" Chris whispered against the soft lips.

"Yes...Chris...please, I need you inside me..."

Chris kissed him again, passionately...but gently, then moved back down, kissing the head of Vin's shaft as he moved back between the long lean legs. Vin was still open and ready so Chris lifted the legs up onto his shoulders and lined himself up...."Chris...coming in, " he called softly, using the phrase they used on the trail as he pushed inside.

Vin gasped in pleasure and pain as the huge shaft filled him, his body adjusting quickly to the fullness. He moaned and pushed up, trying to take more inside, trying to make the two men one.

Chris paused, making sure that Vin was ready, then as the body thrust up against him he began to move, slowly, deliberately, despite an almost overwhelming urge to pound into the hot tight channel. He bit his lip, trying to hold back as long as possible, to make it last forever.

As Vin began to writhe wildly beneath him he lost all control, thrusting hard and fast, grunting and moaning as he came closer and closer to the edge of coherency. He reached up with one hand and embraced Vin's weeping cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts, precum and saliva lubricating the organ as he and Vin reached completion simutaniously. His body spasmed in release, emptying his hot seed into the willing body beneath him, milking the shaft in his hand as Vin cried out his name.

Chris rolled to the side as he collapsed, pulling Vin's still trembling body tight against him as he kissed the sweaty forehead. He reached for the corner of the quilt, pulling the warm cover over them just as they dropped into a deep slumber.

A bird sang outside the small window, light seeping in as the sun crept over the horizon. Two bodies lay entwined in the bed. Vin's eyes were open watching Chris sleep...golden eyelashes fanned out against his cheeks, face relaxed, looking younger, peaceful...almost too innocent for the man Vin knew resided inside.

He stretched carefully, not wanting to wake Chris, yet knowing that his bladder would only let him stay still for a little longer. He intended to savor every minute of that time.

Then he could hear the horses. They were making too much noise...someone was coming. Vin rose.

He looked for his pants as Chris turned towards him. "What are you doing?"

"Horses are fussing...someone must be coming." Vin stated as he pulled on the pants, leaving the longjohns in his haste. He grabbed his shirt, he had too many marks from last night to walk outside barechested and left his boots on the floor. He needed to find out who was there.

Chris was moving, pulling up the black denim, not as tight this morning. He left the shirt and boots, taking only the gunbelt as he followed Vin to the door.

They pushed it open a crack and saw the big grey that Buck loved so well standing by the corral.

"What ya doing out here, Buck?" Chris asked as he stepped out onto the porch.

Buck looked over at the cabin from his position at the door to the small barn. "Just checking to see if anyone was here, you both disappeared last night, wanted to make sure you were alright." He nodded towards the barn where Peso and Pony were standing. "Figured if these two were here I wouldn't have to wake you up."

Vin stepped out to join Chris on the porch. "What ya doing up so early, Buck?"

Buck just smiled. "Haven't been to bed yet, had a busy night." He wiggled his brows suggestively. "You two look a bit worn out yourselves." Buck grinned at the look Chris shot his way.

Vin blushed, mumbled something about making coffee and headed back inside.

Chris shook his head as he sat on the top step. "Should'a known we couldn't hide anything from you."

Buck ambled over and sat a couple feet away. "Easy to see." He started, then held up his hand at the panicked look on Chris's face. "For me...not that most people would notice, you know I got a sense for these things, Chris."

Vin appeared in the doorway, his boots now on. "Coffee cookin'," He stated, leaning against the doorframe. He watched Buck, eyes narrowed. He'd heard the conversation but wasn't sure if this was going to be a problem for him and Chris.

He caught Chris's eye, this a problem?

Chris shook his head, no problem.

Buck watched the exchange, smiling as he realized that they were talking about him. "'S'okay, Vin, I'm not one to judge where someone finds love..."

He knew that Chris wasn't worried, they had enough years and shared experience between them. Vin, though, hadn't known him all that long. "You're good for him." He nodded towards Chris. "He's been alone too long."

"Enough, Buck..." Chris rose, not really angry but uncomfortable at Buck's assessment. "Shouldn't you be getting back to town?"

Buck smiled, knowing that Chris never liked anyone to butt in, but also knowing that his old friend was in too good a mood to really worry. "Yeah, but how about a cup of coffee first? Least you can do after I ride all the way out here to check up on you."

They drank coffee on the porch, all three men quiet, operating on little or no sleep. Buck finally rose, asking when they planned to head back into town.

They looked at each other and shrugged. "In a couple days, I guess." Chris stated. "If anyone asks just tell them that Vin needed to get out of town for a couple days."

Buck nodded, climbed up on Daisy and headed into town.

The next couple days passed in quiet contentment, the nights in fiery passion.

Vin told Chris about his past relationship with the young Kiowa warrior, Mingan, and how he had died at the hands of the army. He told him how he was taken back to the fort, his hair cut, and forced to speak English while he was cared for by the army doctor. How he left as soon as he could walk out of the fort. Spending time later with Comanche and as a buffalo hunter, and later as a bounty hunter.

Chris, in turn, talked about meeting Sarah, how he felt when Adam was born, and how he felt when he lost them both.

They wanted to share the past, share their losses, and knowing what was behind, move forward...into their shared future.

Vin knew that there were still things that he didn't remember, and, things that he might never remember, but he was ready to go on. To begin making new memories.

Two days later they headed back into town.

They rode into town slowly, enjoying the beautiful morning, savoring the last time they would spend alone together for at least a few days.

They spent some time discussing how they would manage to be together without drawing undue attention and, after discarding a half dozen ideas, Vin claimed that he had an answer, he just needed a couple days to work out the details. Chris looked at him dubiously, conceded that he didn't have any other ideas and would let Vin work on his, but he was nervous when Vin wouldn't tell him any of the details.

They arrived, and to Vin's dismay, Nettie's wagon sat in front of Mrs. Potter's store.

"You're in for it now, Vin." Chris teased. He knew that Vin was planning to ride out and make amends the next day, instead he would have to face the feisty woman here and now. Chris decided that he really needed to check on JD at the jail and headed Pony away from Vin and Peso.

Vin looked up as Chris turned tail. "Coward."

Chris just turned back and grinned as he kicked Pony, encouraging him to move faster.

Vin slid off the black, tied him next to the wagon and headed inside. Maybe if he loaded her supplies she wouldn't tan his hide...at least until he was done.

Mrs. Potter spotted him and waved him over as she pulled out a jar of lemon drops. She knew they were a favorite of his and always ordered extra so she would have them on hand as an extra thank you for all the help he gave her. As he approached Nettie came out from the other aisle.

"Vin," she called out. Her voice was strong, but didn't sound too angry. He turned to face her as she reached out to him. "Let me look at you." She turned him to her, putting her hand on his chin and turning his face from side to side. "They said you were hurt. Do look a mite pale."

"'M fine, Miss Nettie." Vin blushed as she fussed over him, he knew that she was worried and allowed her to touch him...something very few were permitted.

"Well, I guess you look like you'll survive...but land sakes, boy, you know how to put the scare on someone."

He lowered his head, he knew he was gonna feel guilty, now he realized that he'd had no idea just how bad she was gonna make him feel. "Sorry, Nettie," He whispered at last.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Vin, it's not like you planned on getting yerself all banged up." She paused, still studying the quiet Texan, he fidgited under her scrutiny. "You're gonna need some fattening up, I'll have ta bake you a peach pie or two."

He smiled then, there was nothing he liked better than Nettie's peach pie. Well, almost nothing, he amended silently as he thought about the past few days...and nights.

He smiled as he picked up the first bag of her supplies off the counter and headed out to load the wagon. "Wouldn't say no to a peach pie, Nettie."

She shook her head affectionately as he exited, reached up and piled a few extra cans of peaches onto the counter, smiling as she turned to Gloria Potter. "Guess you better put a couple more of these onto my account. They both smiled as they looked up to see the young man working.

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "No, those last two are on me, I for one, am very happy to have that young man back."

By the time Chris reached the jail he was wishing that he'd gone with Vin. Mary Travis had spotted his arrival and hurried down the street to meet him as he dismounted.

"Where on earth have you been for the past three days?" She demanded as soon as his feet touched the street.

He turned towards the scolding woman and glared. "Excuse me."

She was about to launch into another tirade when he brushed past her, up the steps and into the jailhouse.

Her jaw quivered, having been cocked and ready to read Chris the riot act about abandoning the town and now her intended scoldee had simply ignored her. She looked around, seeing a couple locals chuckling at her predicament, and huffed out her disgust as she headed back to the Clairon office. "Well!"

Chris waited a few minutes and peeked out the door, no sign of Mary. He sighed, hoping that Vin wouldn't find out. He'd tease him forever if he'd seen the big bad gunfighter hiding from the annoying blond newspaperwoman.

He spotted Vin loading Nettie's wagon and figured that he'd probably been too busy with his own troublesome female to notice. He lit a cheroot and headed down towards the saloon, Vin would head that way once he was finished with his chores. It was almost lunchtime and Inez always had some of those burritos ready about now.

Buck greeted him as he entered, waving him to the table where he, Nathan and Josiah were digging into Inez's lunch special. He sat, nodded to Inez as she arrived with a fresh pot of coffee and poured a cup for him. He took a sip of the hot drink.

"Is Vin coming for lunch?" She asked as she headed in to fix a plate for Larabee.

"He should be by in a little bit, he's helping Nettie load up over at Mrs. Potter's."

"That boy works too hard," the feisty Mexican stated minutes later as she brought Chris's lunch to him.

Chris smiled, shaking his head. "Better not let him hear you calling him a boy."

Inez smacked him on the arm, shaking her own head. "You men, you know nothing. I call him boy all the time...he just smiles."

Buck chuckled at Chris's look and tried to snatch a bite off the freshly delivered plate, but found a fork implanted in his wrist as Chris glared at him. He pulled his hand back, pasting his best affronted look on his face. "Touchy, ain't ya."

"Not touchy...just hungry." He growled as he dug in.

Vin said goodbye to Nettie and headed for the saloon. He was starting to remember more details about life here...and one of those details was the burritos that Inez often cooked up around lunchtime. His stomach let out a rumble as a reminder not to stop anywhere on the way.

Inez greeted him warmly but he noticed that both Buck and Chris gave him odd looks as she hurried back into the kitchen to fetch his lunch.

"What's up?" Vin asked as he sat in his usual place, next to Chris, back to the wall.

"Nothing," Buck replied too fast, still wearing a smirk.

Vin nodded. He might not remember details but he could tell when mischief was afoot. Inez returned with a plate piled high with her specialty and slid it onto the table in front of Vin.

"What would you like to drink with that, Senor Vin?"

"Coffee's fine, Inez...thanks," Vin responded.

As soon as Inez turned to get the coffee, Vin looked up to see Buck smirking again. Then he turned and caught the end of Chris's response as his lips twitched.

"You jackasses keep it up and I'll do something you'll regret," Vin threatened, low and deadly. "Why don't ya share the joke."

Buck grinned and opened his mouth to answer but caught the look Chris gave him and his mouth snapped shut.

"Buck was just jealous because Inez was fussin' over ya," Chris suppplied.

"She weren't fussin', just gettin' my lunch like always," Vin protested, digging into the mound of food piled onto his plate.

"Think she's trying to fatten you up," Buck commented, nodding to the overfull plate.

Vin looked down and realized just how much food was in front of him. It was a lot, but he decided to play along a bit. "Guess she musta' thought I looked extra hungry."

Chris realized that Vin might get self-conscious and leave without finishing. He knew that Vin had lost weight and needed to eat so he changed the subject. "So, how was Nettie?" He grinned, knowing that the fiesty woman was likely to have scorched his ears for leaving without a word.

Vin swallowed another mouthful, took a sip of coffee, and answered. "Seems to think I need fattenin' up too, gonna make me a peach pie." He smiled, knowing that he always got the lion's share of Nettie's pies, much to Buck's regret.

"Damn," Buck swore. "I told ya, as far as these women are concerned, butter don't melt in his mouth."

Vin grinned evilly. "Yeah, so Buck, ya need some lessons on how ta deal with the fairer sex?"

Chris burst out laughing as Buck's face turned three shades of red. Having finished his lunch, Buck decided to cut his losses. He rose and headed for the doors. As he left he could be heard muttering about upstarts thinking they were in his league.

Then Vin turned to Chris, still grinning. "Maybe you'd like some pointers on how to handle pushy widows...without hiding in the jail."

Chris looked into the laughing eyes. "You saw?"

"Wouldn'a missed it fer the world, saw her heading yer way and stopped to watch the show."

Chris just shook his head and sighed. "She's like a damn terrier, just can't get loose of those jaws."

"You better get loose," Vin whispered, "Cause she's trying to dig in my territory, and I won't put up with no claimjumpers."

Chris reached over and laid a hand over Vin's. "I swear Vin, I'll find a way to get her to back off, you know I ain't interested."

Vin looked at their hands and smiled a bit nervously. "Know that, Cowboy, but we gotta be careful." He nodded to their hands. "I got an idea that might take care of both problems."

"That so?" Chris asked, giving Vin that special smile, knowing that it drove his lover crazy when he did -- and especially in public where he couldn't respond in the way his body was screaming to.

"Yeeaahh," Vin drawled out, needing to get back at Chris for the look. "But I'm still not gonna tell ya what it is, not 'til it's all set up.

They ate and spent the next couple hours drinking coffee and keeping an eye on the town. When Vin spied Buck down the street, he excused himself and headed towards him. If anyone could help him with his plan, Buck was the man.

Vin caught up to Buck and outlined his plan, then he asked if Buck would be able to help.

Buck thought for a moment then nodded. "Yeah, I think that might work, and I know just the place we can use...let me check a couple things out." He grinned at the younger man, knowing Vin had been embarrassed when he'd stopped by the cabin and admitted that he knew of their relationship. "I'll do anything I can to make it easier on you and Chris. He's come a long way since you came into his life -- he needs you...and I think you need him, too."

Vin blushed as he nodded. This was all new to him, but he knew that Buck really did care about Chris, and since he'd joined with them, he was included in that big man's heart. "Thanks, Buck, we need to make sure it's safe for us to be together, most people aren't quite so understanding as you."

"You know me, Vin, I'm just a romantic at heart..."

The next few days went by quickly. The nights, however, seemed to last forever. Since they were staying in town, they didn't dare to spend them together -- the walls in the boarding house were just too thin and Vin's wagon afforded no privacy at all.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of things Vin needed to catch up on. He spent one day out at Nettie's, returning late and moaning about how much food she'd expected him to eat. He was sure that he wouldn't need to eat for several days. He even brought half a pie back with him and shared it with Chris and Buck, having already eaten the other half under Nettie's watchful eyes.

Buck, meanwhile, sent a wire to a nearby town that housed one of the largest brothels in the territory and, upon their reply, he rode over to make final arrangements.

Vin still refused to let Chris in on the plan, claiming that it would work better if he didn't know what was up. Chris was getting more and more curious and he was pretty sure that if Buck was helping arrange it, he wouldn't like it -- on the other hand, if it worked...

Mary was still stalking Chris, insisting that he join her for dinner nearly every time she ran into him around town. He had used nearly every excuse in the book but still she persisted, refusing to take a hint...and even ignoring his outright refusals. He didn't want to be rude, but the time was coming when he would have to set the record straight.

That time came sooner than he would have guessed, as the stage arrived in town the following morning.

The two women who alit were clearly working girls, but, as demonstrated by their expensive outfits, these weren't two-bit saloon girls.

Buck made the arrangements and had just finished filling Chris and Vin in on the details when the stage arrived. He'd waited until the last moment, knowing that Chris would back out given the opportunity, but Vin was right, they needed a cover story that the town would accept.

The men headed out to meet the new arrivals.

"Chris, honey," the brunette cried out as she threw her arms around him, "I've missed you so." She winked at him as she turned to watch her companion greet her boyfriend.

The tall blonde girl held her hand out to Vin as he reached for her, then she also embraced the the wide-eyed man. "You haven't been up to visit us for ages...so we decided to come here and visit."

Vin blushed, just as he would have if they really were involved, and Chris grinned as he saw the expression on Mary Travis's face as she watched the reunion. This might just work out.

They moved down to the saloon after stopping to rent rooms at the hotel for the night. Both men were well aware of the glare that followed their every move. Mary was getting an eyeful and was not at all pleased with what she was seeing.

They spent the early part of the evening with the women, at the saloon with nearly the entire town watching as they fawned over the beautiful ladies. When the two couples retired to the hotel for the night, most of the town's men were more than a little bit jealous. Of course, none of them had any idea that the ladies were sleeping in one room and the men in the other. Any noises emanating from that end of the hall would be attributed to the ladies' ministrations.

It was the first night they had been together since they'd returned to town and they made good use of the big four poster.

Once they had established that they had beautiful women waiting for them in a nearby town, they could disappear for a day or two at will, while the citizens would assume that they were visiting the women. No one ever needed to know that they were only taking the two hour ride out to Chris's cabin.

The next day they sent the ladies home on the afternoon stage, making sure that the locals heard both Chris and Vin promise to come and visit them soon.

Mary stood in front of the Clarion, hands on hips, her face pinched up in a disgusted frown. How could Chris flaunt that whore right here in front of her, what would people think? He was supposed to be courting her. Well maybe she would have to find someone else, someone with morals. Maybe he'd been right when he claimed to be the bad element.

Back at the saloon that afternoon, they played a few hands of cards with Ezra, Buck and JD. The kid couldn't stop talking about the two ladies and wanted to know if he could come along next time and meet one of the other women there. Buck finally promised to take him there himself. Ezra hadn't been in on the scheme but had the feeling that there was something going on other than the obvious and decided to do a little investigating of his own... but not when the loud mouthed kid was around.

Vin was winning nearly every hand, and Ezra decided that maybe when Vin hit his head he'd forgotten what a lousy card player he was -- he just hoped that Texan remembered soon. He couldn't afford to play with him if he kept this up.

When Chris stepped out for a break, he was surprised to find Mary standing on the boardwalk waiting for him.

"How dare you bring those women here? You embarrassed me in front of the whole town!" She accused him, reaching up to slap him on the face.

Chris caught her hand before it connected and held it, tightly, as he responded to her accusation. "First of all, I didn't bring anyone here. They came on their own because they missed us, and secondly, you have no right to be embarrassed by my actions. We are not married, or courting or anything else so it is none of your business who I sleep with." He let go of her hand and turned to walk away.

"You'll regret treating me like this. I'll tell the Judge what you said to me."

He turned back to face her, tilting his head with a smug look on his face, his voice low and dangerous. "Is that supposed to scare me? I don't answer to you or the Judge for my personal life."

He turned again and walked away.

As he reentered the saloon, he ran into Ezra. He could see that the conman had been listening and knew that he would figure out that something was up. "Guess you figured out that I was getting tired of the widow's attentions."

Ezra smiled. "Yes, and I must applaud you for the manner in which you have dissuaded her from continuing her matrimonial plans, well done indeed."

"Well I did have a little help, but I think she has finally gotten the message." He grinned as he looked up to see Vin watching. He sauntered over to the table where the rest of the men still sat. "Think I'm gonna need to make myself scarce for a couple days until Mary calms down. Might be a good time to rebuild that corral... anybody want to come out and lend a hand?" His eyes met Vin's across the table.

Heads shook, they all knew how much work was needed to fix that fence, but finally Vin spoke up. "I guess I could help ya out some...I'm still feeling a bit crowded here in town." The others nodded, they knew how much Vin needed to be out of town, and if he was helping, they were off the hook for the job.

Chris smiled. "I'll pick up supplies in the morning and we can head out tomorrow afternoon. Can the rest of you handle the town for a couple of days?"

Buck grinned as he answered. "No problem, pard, it's been pretty quiet, except for when your gals showed up."

Chris nodded and they settled back into his seat. It looked like Vin's plan was a winner, Mary was so mad she might just leave him alone and they had the perfect excuse to be away from town for a day or two on a regular basis -- and no one would have any idea where they really were...or what they were up to. He leaned back against the wall and felt a grin creep across his face.

Vin rose a while later, he had the early patrol the next morning and needed to get some sleep.

Chris just nodded. He could wait until tomorrow if he had to. Last night was still fresh in his mind and he wondered idly if he could convert his own bed into a four poster like the ones at the hotel.

The town was abuzz the next day when Nettie arrived to pick up supplies, and Mrs. Potter's store was the center for the latest news. The main topic was still the two women of questionable repute who had visited with the two regulators and the other topic, of course, was a certain newspaperwoman's reaction to the first.

Nettie listened to the stories that seemed to gain more detail with each retelling, and was having a hard time picturing her Vin consorting with a working girl -- at the least he was soo shy to do so in such a blatantly public way. Well, she thought, she'd just have to get to the bottom of this.

Before she found Vin, she ran into Mary and several other local women with whom she was conversing. They saw her approach and the topic was very obviously changed. Nettie was pretty sure what -- or rather who -- they had been talking about, and judging from the frown on Mrs. Travis's face, it wasn't a pretty conversation. She exchanged pleasantries with the women and headed down the street. There had been at least one woman in the small crowd that she could count on to fill her in, later, when Mary wasn't around.

She finally found JD who told her that Chris and Vin had just left town to work on Chris's corral and wouldn't be back for a couple days. He was looking down the street to where Mary's group of vestal virgins were busily conferring about the sad state of affairs in their little town as he spoke, and she could easily read between the lines to see why Chris and Vin had decided to stay out of the line of fire. She shook her head in disgust at that and asked if JD would relay a message to Vin when he returned. He agreed, and after finishing her errands, Nettie headed back home, deciding to avoid the local gossip fest until she had a chance to speak to Vin firsthand.

Meanwhile, at Chris's cabin, Vin and Chris were sweating. The day was hot and the work was hard. They had a number of posts to replace and even more new ones to add, and that meant hard work as they dug in the hard, dry dirt to create holes deep enough for the new posts. It was midday by the time they arrived and unloaded the supplies. They had looked at the pile and briefly considered waiting until the next morning to get started, but knew that they would need more than one day to complete the task, so, after a quick meal they began. By late afternoon they were both ready for a break.

Vin wiped his brow on the sleeve of his cotton shirt, his coat left on the porch before they had started. He reached for his canteen hanging on a nearby post as he squinted up into the still bright sun. "Could'a picked a cooler day fer this..." He paused, taking a long pull of the tepid water.

Chris finished securing the board he held and looked up, shaking his head. "Not as hot here as it would be in town today." He grinned, picturing Mary and the local biddies all a twitter about the latest scandal.

Vin grinned back. "Got a point there, think ya finally made her mad enough to quit chasing ya."

Chris leaned back against the fence, his bare chest glistening with sweat as he laughed. "I didn't make her mad...you and Buck were the ones who arranged our little interlude."

"You can thank me later." Vin drawled, then poured the rest of the canteen over his body, soaking his hair, then shaking his head and sending a spray of water across the corral.

Chris caught a large splat in the face, grinned and headed to the bucket by the fence. He scooped up a double handful of recently pumped water and flung it at his already damp partner.

Vin yelped as the cooler liqiud hit his still overheated body and the fight was on.

Pony and Peso watched in amusement as the two men proceeded to splatter water all over each other and half the yard as they laughed and chased around.They finally fell into a damp heap under the large oak as Chris tackled Vin, bringing them down onto the soft grass.

They lay there wet and panting until they caught their breath. Arms and legs tangled in the dappled shade. Vin wriggled around to face Chris and reached up to wrap his arms around his lover, closing the distance between them to take the smiling lips with his own. The kiss was sweet and happy, both men content to relax, work finished for the day. They had the entire evening and night to be together. Both men were hard and ready for more, but content for the first time, to simply loosen their pants and rock together under the spreading branches. The gasp and grunts as their slickened shafts danced between their writhing bodies mixed with the buzzing of the insects and the sounds of a breeze blowing through the dry grasses.

They spent two more days and nights at the cabin, building a corral, and a lot of sweet memories to take back to town with them. On the third morning they headed back to Four Corners.

They were, after all, being paid to keep the peace there.

The gossip finally wound down to more normal levels and, despite a few black looks, their arrival was mostly uneventful. They left their horses with Tiny and headed to the saloon.

Buck smiled as he filled them in on some of the more exaggerated stories that had been spreading, and they all laughed when he told them that several of the local bachelors had been knocking on Mary's door, apparently having heard that she was looking for a new improved suitor.

JD relayed Nettie's message that she wanted Vin to ride out to help her with a few repairs, and confirmed that the feisty woman had heard the stories.

Chris looked at Vin as JD mentioned that Nettie had learned of their interlude with the ladies from Red Bluff City, and noticed that he paled somewhat as he realized what she must have thought.

"It's a small price to pay," Chris whispered into Vin's ear. He knew that there were no repairs left after Vin's recent visit...no, Nettie wanted some answers that Vin would be loathe to give.

"Aw, Hell." Vin moaned, he knew he'd forgotten something when he'd planned their little charade.

Vin left the next morning, riding slowly, as if to his doom. He knew that Nettie would be disappointed in him. He could stick to the story they used with Ezra, that it was just to stop Mary from chasing Chris, but that didn't explain why he would also have that kind of girl, and he knew that lying to Nettie was a really bad idea but he just didn't know what else to do.

He was right about lying to Nettie.

He arrived to find her working in the barn and quickly added his back to the effort, but could see the glances she gave him whenever he looked at her.

They finished and she announced that it was time for lunch. He washed up while she dished up the food and they sat on the porch to eat. She watched him push his food around on his plate while she worked up the nerve to begin her interrogation.

"Just what on earth did you and Chris think you were doing by bringing those women to town?" Nettie asked, knowing from the gossip that Chris was probably just trying to dissuade the widow, but still wondering why Vin would join in.

He responded as planned, and watched as she shook her head.

Yep, lying to Nettie was a bad idea.

"Land's sake, boy, I know you deserve some love in your life, but you'll never find love with that kind of woman."

Vin looked down at the barely touched meal on his plate, face flushed. "Got me some love, Nettie...jist ain't her," he whispered, looking up at her through his hair.

Nettie looked at him then, hearing truth in the words, wondering at the meaning there, then she saw it...plain as day if someone looked. She took in a quick breath as the realization hit.

Vin heard the gasp, misreading it as one of disgust rather than surprise. He started to rise, time to move before he looked in her eyes to see the hate and loathing he knew would be there.

Nettie realized then just how hard it had to be for them...why they had chosen to mislead the town, spending time with fallen women, while frowned upon by some, was not nearly as forbidden as their relationship. She reached up, grabbing his sleeve as he bolted.

"Vin," she called out, firmly, but kindly. "I understand, and..." She paused, reaching up to take his chin in her hand, turning his face to her. "Look at me, I understand...and I still love you like a son." She reached up to hug him.

Vin released the breath he didn't know he was holding, more relieved than he ever realized that he could be. He needed this woman who accepted him for who he was, who loved him like the mother that he never really knew. He was still blushing, but he wrapped his arms around the tiny dynamo and returned the hug.

He returned to town late that afternoon after managing to find a few chores that needed his attention. Chris was sitting in front of the saloon, reading, as he waited for Vin's return. He looked up as Vin dismounted and was surprised to see a slight smile on his lover's face.

"Don't tell me...Hell froze over and you didn't have to face her?"

Vin just smiled a bit more which made Chris a bit nervous.

"You gonna tell me what happened Vin?"

Vin stepped up onto the boardwalk and leaned against the post next to Chris's chair, folding his arms as he glanced around to make sure no one was near enough to hear.

"She knows," he stated simply.

Chris looked up at him. "She knows what?"

"About us."

"You told her?" Chris squeaked, looking around to make sure no one heard.

Vin smiled, he was enjoying this. "Nah, she figured it out -- she's a smart one."

"Damn."

"'S'okay, she don't mind." Vin watched the emotions cross Chris's face as he heard and realized what Vin was telling him.

"You sure?"

"Yep, she was actually relieved that I wasn't really dating one of them women...said I deserved real love, and I guess that's what we got cause she said she was happy fer me." His voice was low but they both glanced around again to make sure no one was listening.

"That's one hell of a woman," Chris mused as he shook his head.

"Yeah, she is, glad she's on our side."

"Why's that?"

"You should'a heard the things she was saying about Mary and her friends and how they's being mean and smallminded and she was gonna put them in their places..." Vin smiled before finishing, "like I said, glad she's on our side."

They dropped into comfortable silence as they sat and watched the day come to an end.

Chris and Vin spent the next few days in town taking care of the patrols and other duties, while Buck, JD and Ezra took a couple days off after covering the town for them while they worked and played at the cabin. The town was quiet, most outlaws in the area knew better than to try anything now that the presence of the seven regulators was well known. Josiah and Nathan were available for backup at any time, but managed to keep busy with their own duties whenever they weren't needed for enforcement.

Vin's memory was, as far as he could tell, back to normal. If there were things that he didn't remember, he was unaware of what they might be, and just had to hope that if there were missing pieces, they were unimportant ones.

Mary wired to Judge complaining about the men and their lack of morals, and while he felt for her, he also knew what it was to be a single man, and realised from his own observations that she had a thing for Chris. He respected Chris, maybe even liked him on a certain level, but he was, in the end, glad the possibility that Chris might become his grandson's father was remote at best. He replied to her wire with fatherly concern, but had no intention of firing the men who were making the town safe for the families there.

He did ask for Chris to meet him in a nearby town the next week, he had to be there for a trial but didn't have time to get to Four Corners. He wanted to speak to Chris about Mary and her concerns.

Vin wasn't about to get in the middle of that conversation, his excuse was his desire to visit the reservation to see how Chanu was and speak to him about their time together.

Chris wasn't so sure that he wanted Vin to spend time with Chanu but knew that Vin needed to see him, so, on a bright Tuesday morning, they rode out of Four Corners...in different directions.

Vin took a pack animal and his rifle, planning to hunt as he went. The tribe was always in need of fresh meat and he wanted to thank them for their care when he was injured. He was in no hurry, Nathan, Josiah and JD were watching the town by day, and Buck joined them mid afternoon and covered the duties with Ezra into the evening.

By the time Vin approached the reservation three days later, he was in a great mood, spending his days hunting and sleeping under the stars at night. He had two big bucks, several wild turkeys and various other small game tied atop the sturdy packhorse.

As he neared the reservation a single rider approached. The glare from the sun prevented him from identifying the rider until he was almost on top of him.

Awanata. Chanu's boyhood friend. Vin smiled as the young warrior approached and was somewhat surprised at the angry look on Awanata's face as he drew near.

"Is something wrong, Awanata?" Vin asked, worried.

The dark haired man stopped his horse, and the glare he leveled at Vin rivaled the ones that Tanner usually ignored when Chris sent them his way. "You should not have come back," Awanata said, anger clear in his tone.

"Don't want no trouble, jist came out to thank Kojay and the rest fer taking care of me, and talk to Chanu, too," Vin stated, not understanding Awanata's hostility.

"Maybe Chanu does not want to see you," Awanata fired back. "Maybe I don't want you to see Chanu...you hurt him when you left."

"I'm sorry, Awanata." Vin could see his concern for Chanu but still wanted to speak to his friend. "I would never purposely hurt him...or you. He knew that I had no memory, that things might change, and Chanu and I spoke about this, maybe you need to let him decide if he wants to speak to me."

Awanata nodded, he wanted to protect his friend, and had been frustrated and jealous when Vin was with Chanu. He was Chanu's best friend, but as he watched Vin and Chanu together he realized that he might want to be more than just a friend to Chanu. After Vin left he had been there for Chanu, held him when he cried. Now, he and Chanu were exploring their feelings for each other...the last thing he wanted was for Vin to come back and take Chanu from him.

"You and your friend...you are together?" Awanata asked.

"Yes, we are," Vin confirmed.

"You are happy together?"

"Very."

"You don't want Chanu back...as your lover?"

Vin smiled as he realized what was going on and he let out a breath. "No, just as a friend, and you too, Awanata."

Awanata nodded, smiling as he waved towards the packhorse. "You have a lot of supplies."

"They are for the tribe, as thanks for takin' care of me."

"Then we should bring them to the women to prepare."

Vin nodded and they headed into the village.

Vin spent two days there, visiting with Chanu and the rest. Chanu admitted that he had let himself get attached, even after he knew that Vin was in love with Chris. They both had fond memories from their time together, but both knew that it was in the past. Vin asked him about Awanata, and Chanu admitted that he and his friend had spent some time together in the past weeks, and had found that they now enjoyed each other's company on a new, intimate level, something that might not have happened if Vin had not been there to spark Awanata's jealousy.

Now it was time to return to town.

Vin said his goodbyes and headed back to Four Corners...back to Chris.

Vin and Chris both arrived back in town to find life in Four Corners had returned, for the most part, to its usual rhythm. Aside from a few dirty looks from Mary and a couple of her best friends, life went on.

What Vin and the others found most amusing during the next few weeks, was how several local gentlemen suddelnly realized that the widow was now considered fair game. The one who was the most persistant was a slightly older widower with a shabby farm and a house full of rowdy children who needed a mother. He was a homely man, but he worked hard and desperately wanted to remarry. He was at her door nearly every day.

Ezra was taking bets on which of the eligible bachelors would win her hand, but so far it looked to be a long term investment since none of the men came near to her exacting standards. But for the meantime, it was entertaining, and while all eyes were on Mary and her would be suitors, no one was paying much attention to Chris, Vin, or anyone else.

That is except Ezra. He had figured out that there was more going on than Chris simply hoping to escape Mary's clutches. And, being a keen observer, he was pretty sure he had it figured out.

Being well aware that neither Chris or Vin really had the money needed to court the expensive women that had visited them, he watched their comings and goings and he watched them in town. The looks they gave each other when they thought that no one was looking told him more than enough. He wasn't sure that he needed to do anything with the information he had deduced, but he kept his eyes and ears open... just in case.

It was several weeks later when Vin and Chris were about to leave town to go and visit the ladies when he decided that he should use that knowledge.

He knocked on Chris's door at the boarding house while he was packing -- at Chris bidding, Ezra entered.

"Mr. Larabee," Ezra began hesitantly. "Ahem...I have observed that your ruse has served you and Mr. Tanner quite well to date, but now I believe that you may need to spend just a little more time on it, just to insure that it is as secure a cover as possible."

For a moment Ezra was sure that his life was about to end, then Chris nodded for him to continue.

After conferring with the conman for a while, Chris realized that the Ezra had a valid point.

He changed the contents of his saddlebags then headed out, stopping by Vin's wagon on his way to the livery. He told him that he thought they should change their plans and made some suggestions as to what Vin should bring along.

Vin looked into his lover's eyes, held his questions, and complied. Their relationship had no lack of trust...not any more.

As they rode out of town, Chris explained what he and Ezra had discussed and what he thought they should do about it.

So, instead of riding out to the cabin for a few days of privacy, they headed up to Red Bluff City to make sure that there were witnesses to their relationships with the two women there.

Chris had wired the ladies and they were waiting for them at the hotel when they arrived. Renting two adjoining rooms in the impressive building, they stopped in the dining room for a late lunch before heading out on the town for an afternoon of strolling and shopping.

Red Bluff City was quite a bit larger than Four Corners and had numerous shops, including a mercantile, an apothacary, and a recently opened emporium. Many of the items offered for sale here were not available in Four Corners except through mail order that frequently took many weeks or even months to arrive.

They strolled arm in arm with the ladies looking for small tokens to buy for them. Neither man had a lot of money, but Chris had a small account at the bank in Four Corners and made a withdrawal before leaving town. Vin, who usually had almost none, actually had a pocketful of cash due to his winning streak at the poker table, so they both had enough to pay for the weekend and a few extras.

They split up as the crowded stores made it difficult for the two couples to stay together. Vin was tense, not liking crowds, and generally liking the fancy items offered for sale even less. But the lady on his arm, Annabelle, had gifts of her own, and making an uneasy man relax was one of her best talents. She led him through the aisles and showed him some things that he had never seen -- or even heard of.

Some things that might just be nice to have on hand at the cabin.

Chris and Susannah were busy exploring other parts of the large store, having already made several purchases. It had been a long time since Chris had shopped with a lady, one of the things that he'd only tolerated when he and Sarah had first been married, but something he'd come to appreciate after learning the finer points from her. He was pretty sure that Vin would like the things he picked out for him and was anxious to get back to the hotel to see if he was right.

They met outside a small variety shop an hour or two later and headed back towards the hotel, sure that numerous salesgirls and other customers would remember them if anyone asked about them later.

Now that they had been seen in both towns with the women it was unlikely that anyone doubt that they were involved.

They returned to the rooms to change for dinner.

Vin and Annabelle entered one room, Chris and Susannah the other, and, after opening the connecting door, Vin entered Chris's room and Susannah joined Annabelle.

Vin was still blushing from his short conversation with the blonde haired woman, he'd wondered what they thought about the arrangements, and found out that they had known all along about he and Chris. The brothel not only supplied women, and both women knew many men who weren't interested in their charms.

Buck had explained that they needed a cover story and as long as they were well paid they would do their part. And, Annabelle added, she never minded taking a stroll with a handsome man who treated her with respect. They would swap partners in an hour or so to go out for a lavish dinner, meanwhile, she and Susannah would relax, and Chris and Vin would do whatever. She smiled as the men closed and locked the door.

Alone at last Chris reached out to embrace Vin.

"Missed you," Chris whispered, then he pulled Vin closer and took his lips, licking the lower one, then pressing in, tongue diving deep as Vin opened to him.

They stood, locked together for long moments, the only sounds soft moans and the gasps for air as they pulled back.

"They know about us," Vin rasped, nodding towards the door.

"Yeah," Chris agreed. "They'd have to after their visit in town last month."

"Never thought on it then..." Vin admitted. He was still slightly pink, not used to women who knew quite so much about the ways of men.

"Vin," Chris whispered. "They've seen stuff that is a lot stranger than us.

"Suppose so, jist never thought on it much."

"So are we just gonna stand here and talk about those two?" Chris asked, low and seductively. "Or are we gonna work up an appetite?"

"Already got me an appetite, Larabee," Vin growled, "and it ain't fer no fancy dinner."

He pushed Chris back until they hit the huge four poster bed, the thick feather mattress sitting high up off the floor. Chris's thighs met the soft cover and he sank back onto it.

Vin reached over to pull the curtain closest to the bed shut, the other one not in a direct line with the bed he left, the room now lit by the late afternoon sun, rich and golden as it filtered through the lace panels. He turned back to Chris whose hair glowed in the light.

"Like an angel in them stories," Vin murmered as he climbed up next to him, leaning over the supine body and wrapping his arms around him as he nuzzled under the strong jaw and licked at Chris's neck and up under his earlobe.

Chris turned, reaching over to pull the soft cotton shirt out of Vin's tan pants. He unfastened the pants and ran his hands up under the shirt, glad that he'd convinced him to leave the longjohns back in Four Corners. The flesh under the fabric was warm and soft. He moved his hands up to caress the small nipples, smiling as they grew hard under his touch. He pulled one hand out, pushing the shirt up and leaned over to lick at the hard nubs.

Vin leaned over against Chris's neck and groaned into his ear then sucked the lobe into his mouth.

Now Chris moaned as the limber tongue slid into his ear, exploring the curves and leaving a damp trail that sent shivers up his spine.

"Got too many clothes on," Vin whispered, his voice a raspy drawl. "Need to feel ya."

They managed to sit up enough to pull their shirts up and off, then lay back, boots thumping to the floor as they kicked them free, socks sliding off at the same time. They wriggled out of pants that had become too tight, easing the fabric down over their straining erections, neither wore anything underneath.

The bed was the softest Vin had ever been in, the feather mattress plumping up at the sides, pillows soft and covered in delicate linen. He lay back, naked in the middle of the huge bed looking only at Chris, whose whole body glowed golden in the light.

"Beautiful," Vin breathed.

Chris was looking at Vin, his freshly washed hair spread across the pillow, the red highlights catching the sun's rays as they filtered in, his eyes such a deep blue it was like looking into the heavens, golden reflections sparkling like stars.

"Yeah, beautiful," Chris agreed, feasting on the sight.

They both smiled, then their bodies demanded more. Chris crawled up, knees on either side of Vin's legs and stretched himself out on top of Vin, their bodies fitting together like pieces of a perfect puzzle. Lips met. Chests merged, groins ground together. Their movements slow, but urgent.

Vin thrust up, his cock seeking its mate, while Chris began to rock his hips. Gently, smoothly. Chris lifted his head, eyes locked with Vin's as he increased the tempo.

Then they were flying. Bodies taking control as they approached the edge, the moans and gasps merging with the sounds of flesh meeting, breath rasping out as sweat glistened on their straining muscles. Then Chris froze, his body erupting, emptying itself between them, the feel and smell triggering Vin's climax as his seed joined with Chris's.

Then they fell back into the softness of the bed and knew nothing.

A soft knock on the connecting door a while later brought them awake. Chris pulled on his pants and unlocked the door. He conferred with the women and then closed the door and rejoined Vin.

"Time to take the girls out to dinner," he whispered as he roused his sleepy partner.

"Mmm, guess I am a bit hungry," Vin responded, rubbing his eyes as he rose.

They cleaned up and dressed in their finest clothing, Vin wearing the new blue silk shirt Chris presented to him. They were ready to escort the ladies to dinner in short order.

The food was good, and since the two couples shared a table, the company was, too. The ladies were both good at conversation, happy to fill in the silences when both men proved to be less than talkative. After dessert and coffee they headed back upstairs.

The sun had set during their dinner and they lit the candles on the dresser and bedside tables. The bed was still slightly disheveled from their earlier use.

Chris reached out to touch the soft silk shirt, now warmed by Vin's body heat, the fabric nearly as seductive as the skin beneath...nearly. He gently turned Vin to face him and slowly unfastened the mother-of-pearl buttons. When they were open he slid a hand inside, running it up over Vin's shoulder, causing the shirt to slide down that arm. Then he moved to the other side, catching the garment as it slid free. He draped it over a nearby chair and returned his attention to Vin. The pants he wore were soft, dark blue cotton and fit tighter than most of the ones he wore. Chris decided that he liked these pants and would have to find a way to get Vin into them more often, then he chuckled, since all he wanted to do, now that they were on, was to get them off. He reached down to unfasten them, then slid them down as he slid his hands down the long lean legs. When he reached the floor, squatting in front of Vin, he lifted first one leg, removed the boot, sock and pant leg, then the other. Now he knelt in front a totally naked Vin, whose skin glowed in the soft candlelight. He looked up, meeting eyes so blue they looked black in the dim room. Vin's shaft was hard and ready, a drop of moisture at the tip. He leaned forward and licked the drop off, swirling his tongue over the head before taking it into his mouth.

Vin gasped in pleasure as Chris took him in, swaying slightly as his senses went into overload. "Chrisss." He hissed out, sliding his fingers into the soft wheat colored hair. Chris lapped at the hard organ and gave it a thorough once over before leaning back, a gentle smile on his face.

"Let's move this back to that big soft bed, long as we got it."

He rose, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it next to Vin's before he unbuttoned his jeans and carefully slid them off. Then he reached over and pulled back the comforter on the big bed.

Vin was hard and ready before Chris's ministrations, now he was so close he knew that it wouldn't take much to send him over the edge. He leaned back, avoiding Chris's hands as he ran his own up Chris's long legs, directly to the hard shaft that rose up from the nest of curls. He slid his hands between the lean thighs and into that nest before working his way up that glorious pole using hands and mouth to explore, tease and caress. Chris was as close to incoherent as Vin had ever seen and when he moved lower to the furry sacs below, Chris bucked up like a wild thing. Vin rode him, then pushed the legs farther apart to gain better access as he leaned down to rim the tempting bud behind.

"Oh, God, Vin...I need you inside me..." Chris hissed out between chenched teeth.

Vin smiled, it wasn't often he had Chris Larabee begging to be taken. He wasn't about to disappoint his lover. He reached over to the small table and grabbed one of the small tins he'd bought that afternoon.

"S'okay," he soothed as he pried the small can open. "I'm gonna make ya feel real good."

"I... feel...real...good...want ya to fuck me...NOW!" Chris panted, watching as Vin spread some of the fragrent salve over his hardness.

Vin reached over to rub some into the bud that he was about to open. He pushed in with a finger, finding it relaxed and ready so he added another, scissoring to stretch the muscle. Again he found little resistance.

"You ARE ready for me," he whispered as he pulled his fingers out and lined himself up.

Vin pushed in at the same time Chris bucked back against him, taking Vin's entire length in all at once. Vin gasped at the sensation, holding still to stem the rising tidal wave within him. When Chris started to move, Vin held him back.

"Wait a second...or it'll be over before I get started," Vin forced out, his own teeth clenched as he reined himself, working to get his control back.

They stayed still until Vin let out a long slow breath and began to move, slowly pulling back before thrusting in again, then once more. Now they began to move together, bodies attuned to each other like no other partner either had ever shared with. They tried to make it last but their need was too strong and soon both men were grunting and moaning as they thrust and writhed together. Vin grabbed onto Chris's rocklike shaft and began to stroke and pull in time with their thrusts and could soon feel the body beneath him tense as orgasm began to overtake him, internal muscles clenching and milking the seed from Vin's deeply buried shaft. They both groaned out their completion, collapsing into a sweaty, panting heap in the middle of the bed.

They lay gasping for air as Vin's softened shaft slid free. The room glowed with candlelight while the men glowed from utter contentment.

They spent another day in Red Bluff City, wandering around the city with the women who had both decided that they liked these men. Despite their lack of interest in sex, at least with them. Maybe that lack made them appreciate the men's polite attention during the day. It wasn't as if the women lacked sexual partners, but the friendship and respect they shared during their time together was something that many of their clients neglected.

Then it was time to go home, and both Vin and Chris were both ready and eager to return. While they enjoyed the fancy hotel's soft bed and the other amenities, Four Corners was now where they felt most at home.

They retreived Pony and Peso from the livery and headed out with Vin fighting to keep his mount in line after two days of boredom in the confines of the stable...now Peso was ready to run.

And run they did, both men and horses enjoying the brisk ride through the countryside.

They reached Chris's cabin by late afternoon and decided to stay the night before heading into town in the morning, untacking the horses and heading inside for a simple homecooked meal.

After dinner they relaxed in the small, barely furnished cabin.

Chris looked up from the table where he was cleaning his guns to see Vin watching him with that lopsided half smile on his face.

"What?" He asked, unnerved by the look on his partner's face.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Chris returned. "You're sitting there grinning at me like that cat that ate the canary and you say nothing."

Vin shook his head, not sure how to explain what he was feeling. "It's jist...well, we spent two days up there and that hotel was right fancy and the bed was soft and I'm glad we went and all."

"But?"

"But, I guess I'm jist glad to be home."

Chris smiled. He was feeling the same, despite the fancy meals and everything else, and as shabby as it was, this small cabin had come to be home to him...and now, despite everything that had happened, apparantly it was home for Vin too.

"Me too, Vin." Chris smiled as he rose, wiping the gun oil from his hands before reaching out to his lover. "But now, for me, home is wherever you are." And he reached down to take Vin's hands, pulled him to his feet and wrapped his arms around the wide-eyed man.

"Ya mean that, Chris?" He whispered, returning the hug.

"Yeah, I do."

Vin smiled shyly, leaning up to gently kiss the soft lips of his friend, soulmate, and now lover. "Then I guess we're both home."

THE END