The next day Buck felt better about his conversation with Josiah as the two men sat and eat breakfast they talked about who and how to approach the team about his out burst the day before.

The first would be JD, Buck figured he would make him understand without as much explanation as he would have to do with Ezra, Nathan, Chris and most especially Vin.  Chris and Vin would be the hardest to explain to.

“We’ll see you boys in a few minutes.” Josiah said into the phone, “Buck really needs the three of you there so he can talk to you and apologize, just hear him out before you say anything alright Nathan?”  Josiah hung up the phone with a tired sigh, the ex-preacher knew it wasn’t going to be easy explaining to the team Buck’s attack on Vin but it had to be done so the healing could begin, hopefully.

Buck pulled into a parking spot at the hospital and turned off the engine.  He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the steering wheel and breathed a deep sigh.  Josiah reached over and rubbed between his shoulder blades to help reassure him.

“Come on Buck it isn’t going to get over if you don’t leave the truck.”  Josiah said.

“I know, I know.  It’s just that I’m afraid that they’ll never forgive me.”  Buck replied.

“You’ll never know until you try.”  Josiah answered.

Buck grabbed his keys, and locked his truck.  “Let’s go.”   Buck said and walked away.

The two men walked towards the hospital in companionable silence.  Each deep in their own thoughts.

Nathan, JD and Ezra stepped out of the hospital doors as the two other men approached deciding that any confrontation should be far and away from Vin’s hospital room.  Chris had stayed with the unconscious man all night and he wasn’t in the best of moods.

Buck put up his hand forestalling any comments from the other men.  “Let me explain first before you all say anything.”  Buck said and launched into his explanation not giving the other men a chance to say anything.

“I’m sorry, I went a little crazy yesterday and I can’t even begin to explain why.  All I can say is that it freaked me out that my oldest friend is now sleeping with one of my close friends. The whole 'Vin might die because of some stupid store robbery' is freaking me out too.  I mean I’ve known Chris for a long time and I never thought he swung that way, and Vin, I didn’t think he liked either sex since he has never really dated since he came to the team.  Then to walk in on a robbery and nearly get killed?  I’m just freaking out here.  I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I can’t say it enough.”  Buck said.

“Geez, Buck that’s a lame excuse.  Haven’t you noticed that Chris and Vin have been getting closer and closer in recent months?  We all have.  Oh, that’s right you’re always so worried about who is going to be Ms. Tonight to pay any attention to what happens in the office.”  JD blasted.  “You’re only mad because you’re the last to know and we didn’t say anything to you nobody can be happy around here but you according to you.”

”I agree with my young friend here, you Mr. Wilmington have been so preoccupied that as the rest of the team has been silently routing on the developing relationship between our esteemed leader and our sharpshooter.  I, for one am glad that they admitted their feelings for each other and acted on them.  They belong together and in our line of business they should take whatever happiness they can get.  I am betting on Mr. Tanner to finally wake up and come back to all of us.  You, Mr. Wilmington should be praying for that too.”  Ezra said.  “For if Mr. Tanner does not wake up you might as well plant Mr. Larabee next to him.”

“Ezra and JD are right Buck, Chris and Vin seem to be made for each other, if you’re jealous then that’s your problem.  If something happens to Vin and he don’t wake up Chris is going to gunning for you since you decided to go in there last night and attack him.  It doesn’t matter that the beating Vin took might kill him, all Chris is going to remember is what you did.”  Nathan said, looking at Buck with sudden realization.  “That’s it isn’t it Buck, your jealous of Chris loving Vin instead of you.  After all you’ve been there for Chris for a long time, especially after Sara and Adam were killed.  Didn’t know you swung that way Buck.”

“Alright, alright, you’re all right.  I haven’t paid any attention to what’s been really going on in the office between Chris and Vin, and maybe I am a little jealous but I don’t want Vin to die.  God no!  If Vin makes Chris happy then more power to the both of them, I’m glad they both found happiness.  I love Chris and Vin like brothers and want whatever is best for both of them.”  Buck said in a defeated voice.

Josiah stepped in at that time saying, “Alright boys that’s enough, Buck feels bad enough about what he did and why.  We talked about it all last night and he’s come to terms with the change in dynamics between Chris and Vin and how it will affect the team.”

The three men looked skeptical but didn’t say anything else.  All five turned and walked into the hospital so they could check on Vin and Buck could try and talk to Chris.

The five men sat in the waiting room for Chris to come out and give them an update.  As the morning wore on the team leader didn’t emerge.  Nathan decided to take matters in hand and go in and talk to Chris and bring him out of the room to get some food and rest.

Nathan walked into the ICU and watched his team leader and friend sit in a chair holding his lovers hand.  Vin hadn’t woken up since he came out of surgery eight hours ago.  The doctors said that sometimes it’s normal with the abuse Vin’s body had taken.  Nathan quietly walked over Chris and put his hand on his shoulder gently so he wouldn’t startle him. “Chris, I’ll sit with Vin for a few why don’t you go get something to eat and get cleaned up.  You don’t want him to wake up and see you looking so bad do you?”  Nathan gently chided.

“Go way Nathan, I don’t need anything but for Vin to wake up.”  Chris said without looking at the man.  “I just need him to wake up and show me his baby blues.  Can you understand that?”

“Yeah, Chris, we all understand that.  Even Buck finally understands that.  Why don’t you go out there and make peace with him.  He’s really sorry for being so stupid and doing what he did.  He wants to apologize to you and when Vin wakes up him too.”  Nathan replied.

“Not sure I’m ready to talk to him let alone forgive him for what he did to Vin yesterday Nathan.”  Chris said as he tried to find a comfortable position in his seat.  He knew that he needed to get some food into himself but he didn’t want to leave Vin just in case he woke up.

“I’ll let you know if Vin stirs an inch Chris, you don’t have to accept his apology just listen and get something to eat while you’re at it.  You know the doctors said he may not wake up for a while because of his injuries and surgery.  I’m here and I won’t let anything happen to him, you know that.”  Nathan argued.

Chris shook his tired head and walked out of the ICU room Vin was in.  He paused outside the room, not really wanting to deal with Buck but he knew Nathan would just continue to shoo him out of the room anyway.

As Chris slowly walked to the waiting room he let is anger over what Buck had done the night before come over him so that he was angry by the time he made it to the waiting room.  He didn’t want Buck’s excuses or his apologies either.  What he really wanted was for Vin to wake up and let him know that he was ok.  Since Vin wasn’t waking up he felt like he should be blaming Buck for attacking him in his sleep.  It was a twisted way of thinking and he knew it but he didn’t want to think rationally he wanted Vin to wake up.  His heart hurt for the fear lurking there that he finally admitted his feelings for Vin and acted on them and now he might lose Vin all because of some stupid store robbery that he walked in on.

Chris stopped just outside the waiting room and watched the other members of his team as they waited for news or a chance to see Vin.  He could see that at least two of his men were giving Buck a long talking to.  He could see JD and Ezra pacing back and forth in front Buck nearly yelling at then man sitting with his head down and his shoulders slumped.  It was a totally defeated Buck Wilmington sitting in the room before him.  He didn’t need to do anything, the rest of the team had pretty much beaten him up already. 

When Chris walked in JD and Ezra stopped mid-tirade and looked at him.  Buck slowly looked over at the door and realized why both men had stopped berating him seeing Chris standing here.

“I guess it’s your turn now Chris.  These two haven’t stopped since Nate went to relive you a while ago.  You gotta know how sorry I am for losing my damned mind and attacking Vin like that.  I don’t know what happened and I’m sorrier then you can ever imagine.”  Buck said in a quiet voice.

Chris ran a hand through his hair heaving a long sigh.  The steam he had built up walking to the waiting room disappeared as he had listened to the younger two man vent on Buck.  “I’m just surprised is all Buck.  I mean of everyone I would have expected you to be more understanding about my relationship with Vin.  He never stood a chance, I wanted him and made it known when I showed up at his apartment Saturday morning Buck.  I chased him not the other way around.  Can you accept that?  It seems the rest of the team has.  But can you?”  Chris looked into Wilmington’s eyes and asked.

Buck was elated and saddened that it might all end depending on what he said.  He knew he would always love Chris but the man was now out of reach forever.  For Buck knew that when Chris gave is heart he gave everything, he knew Chris was in love with Vin and always would be.  He just hoped nothing would ever happen to that longhaired sharpshooter or they would lose Chris right along with him.  His decision made, he looked at Chris and answered.

“Chris you know I only want what’s best for you and it seems as though Vin is what’s best for you and you for him.  Just please keep that boy safe.  I don’t think I can take another midnight call when I’m entertaining.”  Buck said with a smile reaching out and giving Chris a big bear hug.

The other four men let out a collective sigh as the two old friends made up.  Knowing that once Tanner was ok everything would be ok again.  Peace would once again come to team 7.

Chris and Buck headed to the Cafeteria to get some food and coffee and talk through their issues more while the rest of the team decided they would help keep Nathan and Vin company until the two men returned.

Vin woke up a few minutes after Chris and Buck walked away.  As always he had difficulty regaining consciousness, the anesthesia always making him sick.  Nathan told Vin that Chris had been there all night and was just getting something to eat he’d be right back.  Vin calmed down and tried to wait but fell back to a healing sleep.

An hour later both men came back more relaxed with each other not quiet all the way but closer then when they left.  Buck knew he could never tell Chris his true feelings for him but he was happy for his old friend.  If Chris could find love again after what he’d lost then Buck knew he would eventually too.

Chris walked into Vin’s room asking Nathan if everything was alright.  “He only woke up for a couple a minutes, Chris.  You know how sick he gets after surgery.  I told him you were here just trying to get something to eat.  He fell right back to sleep.  He’s doing ok, Chris don’t worry.”  Nathan said and moved out of the way so the blond could see for him self that Vin was ok. 

Nathan walked out of the room smiling as he watched Chris sit down and take Vin’s hand into his own.  Chris kissed VIN’s hand and laid his head down on the bed by their entwined hands.

An hour later Vin stirred on the bed waking Chris.

“Hey”  Vin said sleepily.

“Hey, yourself.  Chris sat up and grinned.  “You finally decided to wake up and let me see those beautiful baby blues.”  Chris said as he stood up and leaned over the bed and brushed his lips over Vins.

“Didn’t mean to scare ya Cowboy.” Vin said breathlessly.

“Well ya did, I’m not lettin’ you go to the store anymore without me.  I can’t lose you Vin, not to something like this.”  Chris said with tears in his eyes.

They couldn’t finish their conversation because the Doctor walked in at that moment.

“Excuse me Mr. Larabee, I need to check over my patient and see how he’s doing now that he finally has woken up.”  The Doctor said.  You must have been really tired before you got hurt Mr. Tanner, I hope you slept well because now comes the fun part.

A few minutes later the Doctor walked out of the ICU and into the waiting room were the six men sat and waited for an update on Vin’s condition.

“Well gentlemen, Mr. Tanner will make a full recovery but he will need some Physical Therapy for the leg and arm.  His liver will eventually heal and he’ll be back to work in no time.  He will however need to be off for the next two months for all the bones to heal.  If everything is ok with his checkups I don’t see why he couldn’t do light duty until his Physical Therapy is done.  Oh and by the way I’ll be letting him go home in a week, we have to watch the damaged liver and ribs; we don’t want him getting pneumonia on us.  When we release him he’ll be in a wheelchair for a while because of the broken arm and leg.  Any questions gentlemen? Said Dr. Hodges.  “If not I’ll just give some orders to then nurses then you can see him.”

The six men shook their heads no, knowing Nathan would explain everything to them if they did have any questions.  A collective sigh of relief was released from the men.  They all sat back down on the couches and chairs and waited.  Chris made a decision to let everyone get a chance to spend a few minutes with the injured man before sending them home to eat and sleep.

Josiah had called Travis and told him about Vin’s attack and he let the men have off that day since it was Monday but he wanted at least five of the men back in the office on Tuesday.  Josiah had also mentioned that Chris would need some time off to get things taken care of at the ranch so Vin could go there to recover.  It seemed that whenever someone got hurt they recuperated at Chris’ ranch were it was quiet and peaceful.  This time however it seemed that Vin would need care when Chris went back to work.  Travis agreed to give his team leader two weeks off only to get everything taken care of at the ranch and get a nurse to care for Vin until he was recovered enough to be on his own.

Saturday afternoon Chris finally got Vin settled at the ranch after the contrary sharpshooter gave him a hard time as usual about being a burden and putting Chris out.  He could just stay at his apartment in town.  Chris reminded him that he had four flights of stairs to climb with a broken leg; arm and shattered ribs with the elevator not working the wheelchair would be difficult to get up the stairs.  He’d never make it up the first flight without passing out.

“Besides, I want to be able to take care of you and hold you in my arms at night while you’re recovering.  I was so worried about you and it scared me to death.  I thought as soon as I found you I’d lose you too.  I don’t want to lose you Vin I love you to much.”  Chris declared.

“Sh, sh, now Cowboy.  I’m here and I’m mostly ok.  Stop frettin’ on somethin’ that didn’t happen.  I won’t die on ya I promise.  I will however take a nap, now leave me be to rest.  You heard what the Doc said, I need ma’ rest if I’m ever gonna get better.”  Vin said with a twinkle in his eyes as he settled back to rest he put out his hand for Chris to lay down with him.  It would be the first time in Chris’ bed as lovers even though they couldn’t do anything more then cuddle which was fine with Vin, he just wanted to feel Chris’ arms around him while he slept.

The afternoon went quickly with the entire team calling to see how Vin was doing.  The boys decided to give Chris and Vin the day to adjust before going over there and welcoming Vin home.  They had decided on a big bbq on Sunday afternoon which would include not only the other members of Team 7 but also Nettie and Casey Wells, Vins’ adopted mother and “sister” and Rayne, Nathan’s fiancé.

Sunday morning saw Chris up early taking care of the horses while Vin slept in.  The young man couldn’t help but he also felt guilty about sleeping all the time while Chris tended to everything.

About 10 o’clock Buck showed up by himself which surprised the team leader.

“It’s only 10 Buck what are ya doing here?”  Chris asked suspiciously.

“Wanted to talk to Vin, apologize for what I did while he was out of it.  Buck said.  I figured if it don’t go good I can be gone before everyone else gets here.  I don’t want to ruin Vin’s coming home party for anything.”

Vin happened to wheel into the Den about that time and looked between one man then the other.

“What’s going on here Chris?  What’s he talking about?  Vin said as he settled into a comfortable position.

“Nothing Vin, nothing that can’t be talked about later.”  Chris glared at Buck as he responded.

Buck ran his hands though his hair saying, “No Chris, this has gotta be said I’d rather do it now than have it hang over my head later.”

Before either man could say more using one arm Vin wheeled between them resting on his good side, “Shut up both of you!!  Now Buck why don’t we go out on the porch and talk without Chris “nosy” Larabee.  Chris, let me decide what’s what, I’m a big boy and can take care a myself and have been for a long time now.”  Vin said as Buck grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed Vin out.

Chris thought to himself that he was glad he and made some ramps around all the outside doors so the wheelchair could be pushed outside without any difficulty.

Chris shook his head and hoped that Buck knew what he was doing.  He walked around the kitchen getting things together for breakfast for Vin hoping the young man wouldn’t be to upset to eat.  He tried to get closer to the window but Vin just yelled at him to stop listening in.

With the broken arm and leg Vin had difficulty finding a comfortable position in the chair so he had Buck help him move to a lounger.  He sat down on the lounger and with the help of Buck, put his leg up on a pillow and another pillow under the broken arm.  As Vin settled back to wait for what was so important that Buck had to come out two hours early, Buck paced the porch running his hand through his hair with frustrated sighs every couple of steps.  Vin just sat back, put on his sunglasses and waited.  One of the things that drove the team crazy was Vin’s ability to sit still and wait for long periods of time.  Vin just figured he’d nap until Buck was ready to get his burden off his chest.

A few minutes later Buck sat down on a chair he had pulled up next to Vin’s lounger.  Buck sighed one more time before he looked at Vin glad that the young man was wearing sunglasses cause he didn’t want to see the hurt he was going to cause in his eyes as he told him about what he did while unconscious right after surgery.

“Vin, right after you came out of surgery…. Hum, well… when me and the boys got to the hospital we were all upset about the attack on you then we watched the video of it.  I got really upset when I saw Chris run in the store with only his jeans on, no shirt or shoes.  He told us that the two of you were together and I said you deserved the beating you got.  I, uh, went to your room in ICU and kinda attacked you….” Buck was saying.

The more Buck talked the more Vin got mad, he remembered a dream he thought he’d had of someone shaking him and yelling at him while he was unconscious.  He had thought it was a dream floating just below true awareness of someone shaking him saying terrible things to him that he couldn’t understand he felt some pain so he let the darkness take over and he stayed that way for longer than normal.

Vin was angry that Buck had caused him more pain and suffering while he was unconscious.  He also knew that he couldn’t do much to the man at the moment with his injuries.  So he looked Buck in the eye and asked a simple question.

“Why, Buck?  Why did you truly want to hurt me?” Vin asked quietly but angrily.

Buck knew that tone of voice, it meant that someone was going to die, luckily for Buck Vin didn’t have a gun and couldn’t go and get one either.  “Don’t know Vin.”  Buck said shaking his head.

“I get the feeling that you wanted Larabee for your self and figured if I died he’d be yours. Right?”  Vin continued just as quietly.

Buck looked at Vin wide eyed and horrified, he realized too late that Vin had figured him out.  Buck had always been in love with Chris and had hoped one day the team leader would finally turn to him.  The day they meet Vin Tanner Chris had been lost to Buck and he knew it.  Vin was Chris’ soul mate; you only had to really look at the two men to realize they belonged together.  Buck just never wanted to accept that it was true, he always held that tiniest bit of hope and now it was all gone.

Buck didn’t know what to say he stuttered and mumbled before saying, “I’m sorry Vin, I lost my head for a few minutes, I’m so sorry.  I want you and Chris to be happy together, I really do.  I sat down and talked to Josiah about all this and he made me see the light and when I stepped back I could see it too.  The day we met you Chris fell for you and you for him, it just took the two of you a while to figure out what most of the team except me had already figured out.

You two were made for each other.  Vin, I know I don’t deserve it but please, I’m begging you, forgive me.”  Buck said as he got on his knees before the young man.

Vin had shifted in the lounger while Buck was talking giving himself a little room.  When Buck finished his speech on his knees in front of Vin he was suddenly knocked backwards by Vin’s fist.  The movement of the blow caused Vin some pain but he only thought of hurting Buck.

Chris rushed outside when he heard Buck hit the other chair and fall to the ground.  He immediately saw Vin in pain and went to him pushing him back in the lounger to ease his side.  Then he went over to Buck to make sure the big man was ok.  He helped Buck up and told him to leave as he walked into the house to get Vin his meds and some water.

“Buck I think you’d better leave now and don’t come back for the bbq later.  I don’t want you causing Vin any more pain then you already have.”  Chris said as he walked into the kitchen.

“NO!”  Vin yelled from were he was still lying back on the lounger.  “I wanna talk to him more, I just wanted to get that outta the way.  If I feel like I’m gonna hit him again I’ll call you out here first and let you hit him for me.  Vin said his face dead calm and strained from the pain he was feeling.  He was serious about letting Chris finish beating Buck if he needed it done.

Vin sat back and closed his eyes, he needed the pain to go away before he could see straight again.  He knew if he mentioned it to Chris he’d just make him take the pain meds and rest.  Vin didn’t want to rest he wanted the issue with Buck to go away.

Chris watched from the doorway not wanting to leave the two men alone again just in case Vin decided to hit Buck again.  He knew the younger man was hurting it was written all over his face but they had to resolve their issues one way or another so he just watched and left them alone.

“You still in love with him Buck?”  Vin asked in a tired voice looking into Buck’s eyes.

“I’ll always love him Vin, he’s been a huge part of my life for a long time now.”  Buck responded.

“Not what I asked.”  Vin said and sighed, still looking at Buck waiting for his response.

“No, No Vin, I’ll always care about what happens to him but he’s so in love with you and I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.  He’s never once looked at me the way he looks at you since day one.  You two loved each other long before you ever figured it out and acted on it.”  Buck said hoping Vin heard that he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

Vin sighed again and sat back and closed his eyes again.  He wasn’t sure how he felt about what Buck had said but he knew the man was sincere in what he said.  Chris did love him and he loved Chris and it seemed that they had loved each other their whole lives.

“Look, I don’t know how I feel right now, I can’t think.  I want you to stay today though, your still part of the team, part of the family but I just ain’t ready to forgive you yet.  I just need some time.”  Vin said and looked squarely into Bucks eyes.

“Thanks Vin, I know this must be hard for you.  I promise I’ll prove to you that I accept your relationship with Chris and I’ll be your biggest cheerleader rooting for the two of you.”  Buck said,  “You need anything?”

“Yeah, help me back in the wheelchair and get me inside before Larabee throws away my breakfast.”  Vin said with a crooked grin.

Chris who had been leaning against the door just nodded his head and helped Buck get the wheelchair back into the house and to the kitchen table where he had set out three plates knowing Buck would never refuse a free meal.

TBC