Inversion by Giselle

Ezra accepted the two beers from Nathan with a gracious bow.

"Shoulda known better than to play Vin in darts," Nathan quipped.

Ezra paused, slightly bent at the waist, and peered up at his friend. "Might I remind you, Mr. Jackson, Vin did not best you alone."

Josiah laughed, putting an arm around Nathan's shoulder. "And Nate didn't lose alone. I owe you each a beer, too. Next time. Good game, guys." He gave Nathan a little squeeze and grabbed his jacket before turning toward the bar. "Gonna say my farewells to Chris and Buck. See you all Monday."

Vin waved then reached for the beer Ezra held out. He smiled at the southerner's perturbed expression, resisting the temptation to point out that his bull's eye had won it. Why start trouble? Vin took a swig and glanced at the bar.

Chris and Buck had been doing shots earlier. Now they were on to beer, and they had company. They turned away from the women who had joined them to say good-bye to Josiah. Nathan, apparently deciding to follow the big man out, was next up shaking hands. Over Nate's shoulder Chris saw Vin looking. He rolled his eyes.

"So when is Mr. Larabee going to make an honest man of you, Vin?" Ezra asked with some small sarcasm.

Vin watched as the raven-haired woman tried to recapture Chris's attention. "Could move in with Chris anytime I wanted," he said mildly.

Ezra arched his left brow. "You don't want to?"

Vin shrugged. "Hard enough to keep our relationship under wraps. Don't see how living together could help." From across the room, he admired Chris's subtlety as he deftly moved out of his beautiful admirer's grasp to lean playfully into Buck.

"He's an attractive man," Ezra said, himself taking in the action at the bar. "It would be unfortunate if any...thing came between the two of you."

Vin observed Chris shaking his head, pointing at Buck with an evil grin. It didn't take much to surmise what Chris was proposing. The sharpshooter smiled at his lover's wickedness. Buck would doubtlessly be all in favor. Would the dark-haired woman's friend? "I got nothing to worry about, Ezra." And he didn't. After the first time he'd slept with Chris, Vin had pretty much waited for the inevitable, I hope we can still be friends. It never came. Months had gone by before he even thought to ask Chris if it was coming at all. He'd just gone along with it. Happily, to say the least.

Ezra nodded slowly. "I admire your...confidence."

"Ain't confidence, Ez," Vin said, reaching over to jiggle Ezra's arm, "it's love." Vin was teasing mostly but he saw the cloud that passed over the southerner's face. So he did something Vin Tanner didn't usually do. He pried. "What about you, Ezra? Seeing anyone?"

"No." Quick, emphatic.

While Vin generally was a perceptive person it didn't take a psychic to see something was wrong. Ezra's face was practically contorted with something. Anger? Grief? "When's the last time--" Vin began.

"Oh my, look at the time," Ezra said, starting to rise.

But Vin, suspicious and concerned, still had his arm. "When's the last time you...had a date, Ez?"

Piercing green eyes met blue. "I really don't recall."

Vin tugged gently at the expensive fabric of Ezra's silk dress shirt. "Have you been with anyone since--"

"It really is late, Mr. Tanner. I must be going." Ezra had returned his attention to the bar, a flush riding high on his cheeks.

"Ez," Vin said quietly, almost too quietly in the noisy saloon, "that was over a year ago."

Ezra heard. "Was it? I hadn't realized. Time does fly when you're having fun." He hadn't meant to sound so bitter but there it was. He turned sharply to Vin, cut him off again, this time before he could say a single word. "Good night, Vin." He rose and grabbed his suit jacket from the back of his chair.

"Ezra..."

Ezra didn't respond, didn't look back. He disappeared out the door.

Chris forced himself to open his eyes. Well, one eye. Not bad considering how much he'd had to drink last night and given the fact that he was relatively sure it was early.

"It's after eight," Vin said, though Chris hadn't actually voiced the question. Vin held out two aspirins and a glass of water. Probably not the best idea to wake Chris at all, much less to wake him for what Vin was plotting. He was feeling uncharacteristically impatient. He ignored the little voice in his head that told him this would be easier if Chris was off his A game because that wouldn't be fair to Chris. If it were true. Which it wasn't. Vin watched Chris struggle with waking and chided himself for thinking so much. This wasn't about thinking. It was about knowing.

God, it was way too early. "If this is punishment for talking with that woman, I wasn't flirting," Chris said hoarsely, struggling to sit up. "Buck was."

Vin smiled, forced himself to relax. "It's punishment for puking last night."

Chris winced, the rawness in his throat explained. He raked a hand through his hair. "Did I make it to the toilet?"

"Yep," Vin said cheerfully. He couldn't believe he'd come up with his little brainstorm holding Chris's head as he vomited. Certainly not Larabee's finest hour. "Only reason I let ya sleep in the bed with me."

Chris downed the aspirin and polished off the glass of water. "You're showered," he observed.

Vin leaned in and kissed him. "Hurry up with yours. Bagels are still warm." Vin slipped off the bed and left Chris to his hangover.

He sat at the table in the sunny corner of his living room that doubled as his dining area, newspaper open, and sipped his coffee while he waited for Chris. Vin knew he'd have to approach what was on his mind delicately. Last night he'd basically said nothing could come between him and Chris. He still believed that but he knew he'd be pushing it. What if he pushed too far? Would he be able to get it back? Was it even worth the risk? Then Vin thought of Ezra's face, recalled the undisguised anguish he'd seen. He closed his eyes and prayed Chris would understand.

When he opened his eyes Chris was sliding carefully into the chair across the small round table. Vin usually preferred the chair with the sun on his back but thought Chris might appreciate the direct, warm sunshine this morning. Plus he thought it might be easier if he couldn't quite see Chris's face amidst the brightness. Jeez, how could he so bold and so cowardly at the same time?

Vin let Chris enjoy a few sips of his steaming brew, let him chew on his plain bagel in peace. Then he took a deep breath, let it out slowly. "I love you, Chris."

Chris blinked rapidly. They were usually a lot more naked and sweaty when he heard those words. Not that he doubted their veracity, hearing them only in the throws of passion. He was just very surprised to hear them across the breakfast table. So surprised it took him a few minutes to respond. "Love you, too, Vin," he said finally.

Vin reached across the table to take Chris's hand. "Had a good time last night. Glad you kept yourself busy." Vin chuckled at Chris's smirk. "Gave me a chance to hang with Ezra."

Chris nodded, unsure if the wariness he was feeling was showing on his face.

"You know," Vin continued, his voice soft and low, "he ain't been with anybody since he was raped last year." He looked deeply into Chris's eyes.

"That's too bad. Guess he needs more time." Chris's wariness was turning into discomfort under the intensity of Vin's gaze. He knew Vin well enough to know when the wheels were turning. It usually meant trouble. Why did Chris have the feeling this time trouble wouldn't involve handcuffs or whipped cream or anything fun?

"I think he needs you," Vin said.

Chris was never so glad to not be ingesting liquid as he was at that moment. If he had been, he would have spewed it across the table as he choked violently, like you see at least once in the course of every other sitcom. He gave Vin the most demonstrative one word response he'd ever given, putting his whole body into it. Sure Vin didn't mean what Chris somehow knew he meant. "What?"

Vin swallowed. "I think you should make love to Ezra. Remind him how good it can be with the right person."

Chris was stunned. "You've got to be joking." He pulled his hand away. Saw Vin shaking his head. Christ, he wasn't joking. "Vin, I'm not the right person. Not for Ezra."

"You could be." Vin spoke quickly, all the carefully rehearsed phrases forgotten. "You were so good with him after it happened, before Nate and the paramedics got to him. Then later." Vin wasn't actually there but the one time Ezra had spoken of it, he told Vin of Chris's gentleness.

Chris remembered. He'd gotten a call from Ezra one morning last spring. The undercover agent had been contacted by a teenager named Jeff Jones, whom he and Josiah had interviewed after a recent school shooting. It was the second such shooting in the Denver area in less than a month, both students using the same make and model automatic weapon. The ATF was interested in finding the source of those guns. Ezra informed Chris the young man needed to speak with him privately and they'd agreed to meet in a coffee shop situated in a low-rent strip mall on the edge of town.

"Way out there?" Chris asked.

"Our potential informant claims he cannot risk being seen with me anywhere near his school," Ezra said.

Chris had to let his agent follow up so he bit back his irritation. Ezra should have been in already and Chris needed reports from him. He also didn't have anyone to spare to accompany Ezra, which would reassure Chris but did not especially concern Ezra.

"He's your typical morose teenager, Mr. Larabee. What's he going to do, depress me to death?" Ezra had asked flippantly. If only he'd known.

Still, Chris had a bad feeling and asked JD to put aside what he was doing and run a check on the kid, including a call to his school. Turned out, Jones had a record, sealed, but the principal told JD she believed it had something to do with him being a courier for a drug dealer. Chris put Josiah in charge, took Buck off paperwork detail, and headed out to back Ezra up.

Ezra's car was in the long narrow parking lot but there was no sign of Ezra. Chris told Buck to call the Team and the police while he trotted over to the no-tell motel at the end of the strip. The manager claimed to have no knowledge of Ezra or anything out of the ordinary. But a young woman caught Chris's eye and nodded her head toward the door. Chris met her around the corner from the entrance.

"A big guy and a kid hustled a good looking, well-dressed guy into number 12," she said. "He was dazed. Had a cut on his face. I think the big guy had a gun." Chris thanked her and asked her to stay put. She took off though, and the police never found her. Wherever she was, whoever she was, Chris never doubted that she'd saved Ezra's life.

Chris gave Buck the salient details when they caught up with each other by the manager's office. Both knew they couldn't wait for back up, silently fearing they were already too late. They busted into the dingy room, interrupting a light-skinned Hispanic man in the act of sexually assaulting Ezra. The big guy Chris had been expecting had his jeans around his ankles but still managed to pull his gun. Chris shot him squarely in the chest then trained his weapon on Jones, who wisely let what Chris realized was Ezra's gun fall from his hand. With Buck assisting, Chris had Jones and his scumbag boss face down on the ground outside within minutes. Chris didn't even let the asshole dress. Anxious to get back to Ezra, he left Buck to guard them and wait for the troops. Inside, Chris covered Ezra with a frayed blanket, tried to comfort him physically without putting pressure on any of the already visible bruises.

Chris realized he'd drifted, that Vin was still speaking. "Right?" Vin asked.

Chris closed his eyes. "Vin, my head is spinning."

"I know," Vin said, reaching for Chris's hand again. "I'm just saying that as much as Ezra let anyone in, he let us in. Not Josiah. Not even the rape counselor, I don't think."

Chris nodded, rubbing his eyes then his temple. "I'll give you that. We spent more time with him after he came back from Colorado Springs than the others did." He stood and went to the window, back to Vin. "Doesn't mean I should sleep with him." Ezra had taken a month off after the attack, spent most of it away from Denver. Chris and Vin checked in on him frequently when he returned, despite his protests that such visits were unnecessary. They would have ignored such complaints anyway but Chris was sure they were at least partly for show. Especially since Ezra always had food, drink, and information ready for them when they arrived. A leave of absence didn't mean he didn't still have his ear to the ground, he assured his boss. And although he said nothing to Chris about the incident the blond couldn't help but notice that Ezra relaxed visibly in his presence. Probably saw Chris in some weird way, as his rescuer or savior.

"He trusts you, Chris," Vin said.

"He trusts you, too. Why me?" Chris turned. "Why not you?" Chris could only barely believe they were even having this conversation.

Vin didn't say anything, which made Chris tense. "What?"

"Because I could handle it if you slept with him. Don't think you could do the same if the situation was reversed," Vin said softly.

Chris snorted. "So I'm the jealous type and you don't care if I sleep with another man?"

"Go pick up a guy in bar, Chris, and see how much I don't care if you sleep with someone else. And no, I don't think you're the jealous type."

Something beyond the obvious was nagging at Chris. "Why can you handle it with Ezra, Vin?"

Eyes downcast, Vin smiled sadly.

"Vin?"

Vin looked up. "Sarah."

Chris cocked his head. Vin seemed to be answering a different question than the one Chris had posed. "Sarah?"

Vin nodded. "The worst possible thing that could have ever happened to you is the reason I have the best possible thing that's ever happened to me," he said. "I know things would be very different if she'd lived." He shrugged, glanced at Chris's face then away. "So I don't think about it. I think about what we have, what you mean to me. If you did this for Ezra, I wouldn't think about that, either."

"I don't want to sleep with Ezra," Chris said quietly. Then he added, "Just because I loved Sarah with all my heart doesn't mean I don't love you."

"I know," Vin said. "That's why I'm asking. Because I know you love me." Vin stood but Chris ducked his touch. "If I thought for one minute you wanted to have sex with Ezra or anyone else I'd kick your ass."

"So why are we even discussing it?" Chris asked. His head was pounding and he was wondering if there was any possibility that this was all a bad dream.

"Because Ezra needs a friend right now. I think you can be that friend." Vin tried again, sighing when Chris moved toward the open area of the kitchen. "Didn't you ever do something for Sarah you didn't want to do? Did it because she asked?"

Chris leaned against the counter. "This isn't exactly buying tampons, Vin."

Vin chuckled. "You bought Sarah tampons?"

"Occasionally. Now can we just please go out to the ranch? I need to sleep for a week or so," Chris said tiredly.

Vin shook his head. "Gonna stay here. Give you some time to think about it."

"You're pissed?" Chris asked incredulously.

"No, not at all. Just want you to give it some serious consideration."

Chris moved back toward Vin, more ready to be affectionate. "'Can think with you around, Vin," he said seductively. He slipped his arms around Vin's narrow waist and kissed him softly.

"I know what you think about when I'm around," Vin teased.

Chris pulled back, taking the remark like a slap in the face. "It's not just about sex, damnit."

Vin tried to soothe. "I know that. Don't practically live with ya because I think it's only about sex."

"But you don't actually live with me," Chris said angrily.

Vin put his hands up. "I wasn't trying to start a fight a Chris. Things are good with us. We both like the way we've arranged our private life. We do, don't we?" He was relieved when Chris nodded, came back into his arms. His green eyes were calm. Still bloodshot, but calm. Vin kissed him. "Just promise me you'll think about it?"

"Vin..."

"How many times have we made love in the last year, Chris?" Vin asked rhetorically. "How many women has Buck slept with since last spring?"

That got a laugh out of Chris. "How many since last night?"

"Exactly. And Ezra's been alone all this time."

"His choice, really. There are men out there he'd be okay with," Chris said.

"He was set-up by a pimply-faced sixteen year old delinquent. He was brutalized by two assholes while the little moron watched. I bet Ezra doesn't trust himself to make any choices right now." Vin brushed his lips against Chris's. Lowered his voice, husky drawl just above a whisper. "Even if you were okay with me and Ez, I'd still want you to be the one. I know how gentle you can be, Chris. How tender and loving. You're what Ezra needs."

"How does Ezra feel about all this?" It had only just occurred to Chris to wonder.

"Don't rightly know. Wanted to run it by you first," Vin said.

"You mean..." Chris groaned. They were most likely arguing for nothing. Ezra would never go for this.

"Ezra would want this, Chris. Think about it, okay? For me?" Vin whispered.

Chris nodded, kissing Vin deeply. A nice kiss, a great one even, but not good enough to change Vin's mind. Chris left, tired, confused and still very much hung over.

Saturday and even Saturday night weren't so bad. Chris had a headache and queasy stomach to sleep off. But Sunday was tough. He missed Vin. They might not technically live together but they spent about ninety percent of their time in each other's company. Lonesome, he moped around the house. He didn't brood. There was a difference. Chris had worked hard on the brooding. But nothing said he couldn't mope some when his lover was away.

Buck and JD showed up unannounced, pretty normal for them. Though a small part of him still wanted to hold a pity-party, Chris was glad for the company. The questions were another matter.

"Where's Vin?" being the inevitable first of many.

"In town," Chris said casually.

Buck frowned. "Work or play?"

Chris shrugged. "Errands." He checked the fridge. "I've got cold cuts."

"That's fine. What errands couldn't wait until tomorrow?" Buck reached for the breadbox.

"Jesus, Buck," Chris snapped. "Vin's running errands. What's the big deal? We're not actually attached at the hip, you know."

Buck whistled. "Figured something was up. Didn't think it was so big. What'd you fight about?"

"We didn't fight," Chris said more evenly. "He's got some things to take care of. That's all."

"Right," Buck said, turning it into a three-syllable word.

Chris sighed. He went to check on JD, happily watching the game in the den. Told him they'd be in with sandwiches soon. In the kitchen, Buck had started on lunch. Chris decided the time was right to hit his oldest friend with a query.

"What if I told you Ezra hadn't been intimate with anyone since that day at the motel?"

Buck looked around and up, as if he was trying to figure out where the question had come from. "Are you telling me that? And if you are, why are you telling me that?"

"Would you sleep with him? Just once, to help him recover some sense of control, or faith in his judgement?" Chris thought he might be seeing a carbon copy of the expression he'd worn at Vin's yesterday morning. Buck unintentionally echoed his sentiments.

"You're joking?" Buck slapped Chris on the back, a smile replacing the look of utter shock on his handsome face. "For a minute there I thought you were serious."

"You wouldn't? Just once?" Chris wasn't sure why he was pressing. It really wasn't the same thing.

"Chris, I don't sleep with men. I know you didn't either before Vin. But not all of us are so open minded." Buck nudged Chris's shoulder and went back to slathering mustard on bread. "But," he leaned his hands against the counter, "if I was going to have sex with a guy," he said carefully, "it wouldn't be with someone who was a rape survivor going for his first time since the assault. I'd be too afraid of hurting him. Or messing everything up. Or something"

Chris smiled. Buck was sweet, in his way. "I wasn't asking you to do it. Just wondering how far you'd go for a friend."

Buck's eyes, serious and fierce, flicked to Chris's face. "Depends on the friend."

Chris gave in to the urge to hug his friend. Not the first time, by far. "Thanks, Buck," he said raggedly, his emotions churning.

Buck hugged him tightly. "Anytime. Not that I have any idea for what, of course."

Chris refused to look at the clock. It was late, he had work in the morning, he was wide-awake. What good would it serve to check the time? It would only piss him off.

But he must have dozed because he felt himself jerk, sensing a change in the atmosphere of his dark, quiet bedroom. He lay perfectly still and waited.

Vin slipped under the covers behind him and pressed up against his back. Chris relaxed. He shifted, trying to feel more of Vin, and clasped the hand that came to rest on his belly.

"Wanted to see how you were doing," Vin said softly against his ear.

"I'm okay. Can't sleep," Chris replied.

"I figured." Vin kissed Chris's shoulder. "I'm here now."

Chris rolled over. "I'll do it, Vin," he whispered. "For you. If Ezra wants it and if he understands that it's about him but for you."

Vin freed the arm that was pinned between him and Chris and leaned up on it. "Had lunch with him today. Told him what I was planning."

"How'd he react?" Chris asked.

Vin chuckled. "He called for the check and refused to speak to me. After he told me he didn't need our pity."

Chris was tempted to feel relieved but he knew that wasn't the end of the story. Not with Vin, who could be pretty determined when he set his mind to it. "And?"

"I told him it took a damn sight more than pity for me to ask you to bed another man."

"What did he say to that?"

Vin leaned down and kissed Chris's forehead. "Said he's free Saturday night. You should bring flowers and wear that gray cashmere sweater I gave you last Christmas."

Chris laughed, oddly enough feeling the relief that had swam up on him before when he thought he wasn't going to do this crazy thing. "He picked that out, didn't he?"

"Yep, and he's got excellent taste." Vin's fingertips skimmed lightly over Chris's stomach. "It looks great on you."

Chris started to roll back on his side when Vin caught his shoulder. "I ain't ever loved anyone the way I love you, Chris. And there ain't never been anyone who loved me like you do."

Chris reached up to stroke Vin's cheek. "Just so we're clear?" he asked, grinning foolishly.

Vin nodded. "Just so we're clear."

"Nervous, Mr. Larabee?" Ezra asked.

"You could say that," Chris responded. He hadn't brought flowers but he did select a nice Beaujolais, whose cork Ezra was considering popping.

"Shall we get drunk?" Ezra lips curled into a thin smile. He was doing okay in the nerves department himself.

Chris shook his head. "Don't need to. Besides, wine puts me to sleep. Would kind of defeat the purpose."

Ezra smiled wider, at once charming and devious. "I won't tell Vin if you won't."

"We don't have to do this, Ezra. Vin just convinced himself you need to get over a hurdle." Chris shrugged. "Convinced me, too. But if you don't..."

Chris held his tongue, watchful as Ezra crossed the room to stand in front of him. He shivered when the southerner caressed his cheek. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He tensed when Ezra kissed him. This definitely was not a good idea.

"I want it," Ezra breathed, "do you?"

Nodding, Chris put his arms around Ezra and kissed his ear. Ezra seemed to understand Chris's reluctance to kiss him on the mouth. Ridiculous, given that he was about to make love to the man. But he couldn't bring himself to share that particular intimacy just yet. Ezra didn't mind, kissing Chris's neck and sucking gently on his earlobe. Chris took a deep breath, thought of Vin. Vin was okay with this. It was Vin's idea. Still he felt unfaithful.

"Mr. Larabee," Ezra said, "I'm going to give you one last chance to rescind your generous offer."

Not only not unfaithful, what Vin wanted. "Let's do it," Chris said.

Silently, Ezra took Chris's hand and led him up the stairs. Chris had been in Ezra's bedroom before but the butterflies in his stomach when he entered it this time were new. He avoided looking at the queen size bed with its designer comforter and sheets.

Ezra turned on the table lamp and faced Chris. He held up one hand. "I believe we'll need this," he said showing Chris the condom before holding up the other hand with the lubricant. "And this. Unless it's done differently nowadays?"

Chris smiled at Ezra's attempt to lighten the mood. He didn't move, just waited Ezra out. Slowly, the southerner let down his guard. Shoulders settled, impenetrable mask lifted. It was okay, Chris had seen this face before, or a version of it. Vin hadn't ever been raped but he had been young and foolish once. Stayed too long with a lover who developed a tendency to get rough. That was how Vin saw it. Chris called it abusive. After an idyllic beginning and though Vin was always willing, his lover started taking what Vin offered forcefully. Cruelly. It took a straight out punch to the jaw for Vin to walk away. Chris knew those details, and some others, before they'd first made love. So he let Vin initiate. The first time, every time. In any other situation, Vin would have balked at being treated with kid gloves. But not with this. Naturally, things had gotten easy between them over the last year and a half. Sometimes all Vin had to do was look at him and Chris would call it initiation and pounce. No hurtful repercussions for his lover to ever make Chris think twice about doing it again.

Ezra put the necessities down and sauntered confidently toward Chris. He ran his hands along the smooth fabric of Chris's sweater feeling the hard muscle beneath. He arched one eyebrow, his mouth curving into an approving grin. Increasingly eager hands journeyed to Chris's ass and squeezed as soft lips caressed the blond's neck. "I suppose this would go more smoothly if we undressed," Ezra murmured. He pulled away, suddenly a little worried. He'd thought Vin at best insane and maybe patronizing when the sharpshooter had suggested this. Ezra had agreed rather quickly nonetheless, convinced it could be an almost mechanical exercise in recouping at least part of what he'd lost that abominable day. Now he wasn't so sure. Why hadn't it occurred to him that he might actually enjoy being with Chris? Simple. He was convinced he'd never enjoy sex again. Ezra shook his head. The persistent knot in his stomach tightened, Chris both turning him on and terrifying him. He wanted to continue but stood rooted to the floor.

"Ezra?" Chris asked, seeing the whirlwind brewing.

Now or never. It had always been easy to be aloof, even easier now to be completely alone. That habit needed breaking. "I'm fine, Mr. Larabee." To prove it, Ezra removed his jogging suit and after a moment's hesitation, his underwear. Trembling, Ezra reached deep inside for his lost bravado. "May we get this out of the way immediately?" he asked, turning slightly. "I carry only one physical reminder of my degradation, a bruise that apparently prefers to be a scar." His voice had that cocky, irritated lilt Chris so often associated with Ezra.

Chris glanced at the discoloration, arching like a rainbow just below Ezra's hipbone. Not a rainbow, though. More likely the calling card of the steel-tipped construction boots the heavy-set guy had been wearing. "Deep muscle bruise?" he asked, brushing his fingertips over it.

Ezra shuddered. Other than medical professionals, no one had touched his bare skin in a very long time. "Perhaps," he said shakily. "Doctor says it will eventually fade." Ezra felt tears stinging his eyes and tried to blink them away. He'd sleep with Chris but he had no intention of breaking down and blubbering like an idiot in front of him. He was sorely tempted to call the whole thing off and have himself a good, private cry. Ezra looked everywhere but at Chris, profoundly grateful that his friend was not rushing to console him. Ezra could not stand that much more humiliation.

But Chris's movements forced him to look. In deference to Ezra's fanaticism about his white carpets, Chris had removed his shoes at the door. Now he stripped off his socks, sweater, and jeans. Ezra watched, mesmerized. He'd caught glimpses of Chris naked, at the gym, even at the ranch. He'd never paid too much attention though it hadn't escaped his notice from the start that Chris Larabee was one good-looking man. Straight so no sense in getting crazy. Then there was Vin and well, there was Vin. Still no point in looking. Until now. Ezra liked what he saw. Very much. He briefly closed his eyes and reminded himself that the status quo, though put aside for a few hours, needed to be intact come tomorrow. Vin deserved at least that much.

After laying his clothes neatly on the chair, Chris took off his shorts. Ezra couldn't breathe. Not panic or maybe just a little. Desire, anticipation, some fear all combined to choke off his air.

Chris kneeled in front of him, placed his hands on Ezra's hips and looked up. "Can I touch you?" he asked, smoky green eyes darkening.

Ezra expelled a loud breath and almost collapsed on the spot. Whatever doubt and fear plaguing him vanished at the sight of Chris naked on his knees before him. "Please," Ezra whispered.

Chris kissed Ezra's belly, detecting a little more softness than on Vin. As his tongue traced and tickled the small navel Chris speculated on how many times he'd think of his lover during this, compare Ezra to Vin before this was over. To be expected, for sure. Not just because he was in love with Vin but the sharpshooter was his only point of reference for sex with other men. He stroked Ezra's cock before licking it. Thicker, not as long as Vin's but the reaction was pretty much the same. Ezra hardened, moaned. Rolled his hips a bit while gripping Chris's shoulders to steady himself. Chris opened his mouth wide and Ezra slid a good way in smoothly. Ezra, not Vin. Chris sucked him gently but insistently, one hand reaching between Ezra's legs to massage his balls.

Ezra moved his hands to Chris's neck. Flicked his earlobes with his thumbs. "Oh my, Mr. Larabee," he murmured. He felt the vibration as Chris chuckled around his cock. It was so good and he was so close he thrust into Chris's mouth utterly unable to stop himself. Chris went with it, pulling back and pushing forth in a steady motion. He pulled back and held as Ezra came, gasping and groaning continuously. As the last shudders coursed through him Ezra grabbed his own dick and pumped. Chris helped, feeling Ezra's weight against his shoulder's and chest, withering erection inches from his face.

Ezra felt warm lips on his own and opened his eyes, half expecting to see someone else kissing him. How Chris managed to stand so easily and quickly Ezra would never know. He let Chris guide him to the bed, swayed while Chris pulled the comforter back. Ezra settled against the pillows, eyes closed, unaware exactly where his companion was. He opened them only because he had to see and not just feel Chris gently wiping him down with a warm soft washcloth he'd retrieved from the bathroom.

Chris caught him watching and smiled up at him sweetly, making Ezra's heart flutter in his chest. He took a mental picture of Chris as he tended him, noting firm body and erect penis and storing it away in the recesses of his mind. Status quo but Ezra had carried so many chilling memories for so long he was undoubtedly entitled to one or two good ones.

Chris traded the washcloth for the other items on the nightstand. He leaned over Ezra, hands resting on either side of the smaller man. "Light on or off?"

"On," Ezra said, or tried to say. He cleared his throat. "On."

Chris nodded and lowered his head, dragging his tongue across Ezra's nipple. The hardened nub peaked a little more and Chris caught it in his teeth. He let the condom and the lube rest on the bedspread and began a gentle massage of Ezra's torso, tongue still teasing one small rosy nipple then the other.

Chris rubbed and kissed his way down to Ezra's groin. He pushed his companion's legs open wider and planted wet kisses on his inner thighs. He tried not to think of all the times he'd driven Vin crazy nibbling on the sensitive skin where leg and groin met. Chris pushed Vin from his mind, deciding the time for Ezra had come. He popped his head up and grinned. Ezra had anticipated it, holding the small tube Chris would need. He squeezed a generous amount on to Chris's fingers, letting Chris know he needed no further invitation. He sucked one of Ezra's balls into his mouth while he worked one finger carefully inside. He kept his mouth busy, back and forth between Ezra's balls, occasionally swiping his tongue across his cock, as he stretched and probed the southerner's hole.

Ezra played with himself lazily while Chris stretched him. He arched his back and groaned when Chris hit his prostate, speeding up the movement of his wrist. Chris pushed his hand away, long fingers slipping out of Ezra with a moist squishing sound. He reached for one of the other pillows, wanting to use it to prop Ezra's hips up a little. Ezra helped with the pillow and with the condom, rolling it onto Chris's dick before hoisting his legs up and around Chris's hips.

Chris laughed. "Are you trying to tell me something, Ez?"

"Indeed, Mr. Larabee," Ezra said shakily. He was ready. More than ready.

Chris took it slow, aware that time and memories were against him. He kept his eyes trained on Ezra's, perhaps the hardest part of this whole thing. When he'd looked into Sarah's eyes during lovemaking he wanted to see into her forever. Then he lost her but somehow found the will and the desire to see into someone else's soul. Vin's soul. Chris fought it, watching Ezra because Ezra was watching him and needed him to reciprocate. He saw the flash of pain, of abject terror.

"It's me, Ezra," he whispered, "and we can stop right now if you want." Chris trusted he could call up his iron control even at that adrenaline filled moment.

So did Ezra. But he shook his head. "Just, wait..." Maybe all he needed was Chris to acquiesce because nothing really changed in the moments of stillness before he signaled that it was okay for Chris to continue.

It hurt but Ezra wanted it, needed it more than he realized. Chris's cock filled him, aroused and placated him simultaneously. The pain subsided, morphed into something beyond pleasurable. Ezra went with it, clinging to Chris as the blond made love to him with expert care. His cock was trapped between their bodies, pressed against Chris's rock solid stomach, and he felt himself on the verge of his second release.

"Dear God," he moaned in his lover's ear. Ezra slid his hands down Chris's broad back to his ass. Chris understood, his long slow thrusts becoming shorter and faster. He came with his head nestled in the crook of Ezra's neck, Ezra's warm seed hitting his belly as his own filled the condom.

Chris picked his head up. He kissed Ezra, firm lips pressing for admittance. Not too deep or drawn out but right and perfect all the same.

Ezra wiped the sweat from Chris's face, tired smile not hiding the quivering of his reddened lips. Chris grabbed his hand and kissed the palm, his body shifting back. He let go of Ezra so he could hold the condom as he withdrew. Ezra sat up, taking the used prophylactic to the bathroom.

When he returned, he switched off the lamp. He lay on his back, next to Chris but not touching.

Chris was still breathing irregularly, willing to cuddle but glad Ezra wasn't pushing it. He'd always liked to cuddle with Sarah. Smiled politely when men joked about the ten mississippi counts they'd do before letting go of their wives to roll over and go to sleep. He didn't know what to expect after his first time with Vin. Once Vin got started, he fucked like a wild man. Barely gave Chris a chance to recover before he was pushing him off to clean them up. Being men, Chris figured they'd fall into solitary slumbers on their respective sides of the bed. But Vin had curled into him like a kitten, seeking contact that was the polar opposite of the acrobatic athleticism of just moments before.

A soft request broke through the night. "May I ask you something, Mr. Larabee?"

Chris's eyelids were drooping but they shot open. "Sure."

"Have you ever...been on the receiving end of Vin's charms?"

Chris turned in the darkness, saw Ezra's familiar cunning grin. "Are you asking me if I've ever bottomed, Ez?" He chuckled at the slight shrug. "Yeah, I have." Chris sat halfway up. "You're not asking--"

"No, I'm not," Ezra reassured humorously. "I know better than to be greedy. I was just curious. It's hard to picture you that way."

Chris settled again. "Please don't," he said a little abruptly. As if to make up for that he offered more details, exactly what he didn't want to do. "Took a while and it's not our usual way."

"A while? To want it?" Ezra's hands were folded over his chest. He looked and felt relaxed, weightless. Like he was free for the first time in a long time from an oppressive burden. He sincerely hoped he was.

"That, and for Vin to think I was ready. Had to start slow. You know, a finger while he..." Chris shook his head. "Shit, Ezra, this is almost more personal than the sex." Chris wasn't angry just uncomfortable.

"I know. I thought perhaps it would make it easier for us." They hadn't exactly had sex without intimacy. They were friends, cared for one another. But it went no further. Chris had a very good reason for not letting Ezra have too much and Ezra respected that. "Just one more question."

Chris looked up at the ceiling. "Pillow talk's for Vin, Ezra," he said slowly.

The southerner continued undeterred. "Do you want to go to him?"

Yes. Chris wouldn't lie but he wouldn't use a sledgehammer, either. "I'd like to but I'm here for the night, which is fine with me." They'd agreed to see each other in the morning. At Josiah's. Chris had nearly croaked when Vin told him he'd let Josiah in on the plan. His lover had decided that while he'd be fine and dandy home alone, he'd rather be fine and distracted with chess, conversation, and old movies at Josiah's. Chris didn't know why the thought of Josiah knowing he was about to sleep with Ezra was any weirder than the fact that he was about to sleep with Ezra but it was. But it was done and Vin wouldn't have done it if he hadn't needed to. "Unless you want me to go?"

Ezra didn't hesitate. "No, I don't want you to go." He turned on his side, back to Chris. "Good night, Mr. Larabee."

Chris chuckled softly. "Don't you think you should call me Chris?"

Ezra turned, said over his shoulder, "No, I do not."

Chris nodded, "Probably right." After everything that had happened, not just that night but since last Saturday, he thought he'd fall right to sleep. He didn't. "Ezra?" Low, tentative.

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?" Chris leaned up on his elbow. Ezra rolled to face him. "Did this help?"

Ezra answered directly, leading Chris to believe he'd been pondering it, too. "I think only time will tell. I can say this: that nagging little knot in my stomach is gone. For good?" he shrugged, "I can't say. But it has been with me for so long yet all I feel now is the memory of it."

Chris frowned, a horrible sadness creeping up on him that he'd never associated with Ezra even after finding him in that squalid motel. "You felt it earlier?"

Ezra nodded. "It was in high gear, as a matter of fact."

"I'm sorry, Ezra," Chris said softly.

"Don't be. I'm not. It happened, I survived, and who knows? I may actually get on with my life now." Ezra's face was serene, softer than Chris had seen it in ages.

He lay back, satisfied but not totally devoid of sorrow. "Night, Ez."

Ezra leaned into him, kissed him quickly. "Thank you, Mr. Larabee." He settled down. "You and I are lucky that you have a lover like Vin."

"I know," Chris whispered.

"And he is incredibly lucky to have you." Chris glanced at him and he winked. "You're one hell of a great fuck."

The tension broke and Chris laughed out loud, shaking his head before pulling up the covers and letting sleep claim him.

Josiah stuck his head out the sliding door. "Ready?"

Vin glanced up from the funny papers. He'd angled his chair to catch the sun's rays full on and had to twist to see his host. "I'm gonna wait for Chris." He saw the skeptical look on Josiah's face. "He'll come for me, 'Ziah, don't worry."

The big man shrugged. "Okay. Lock up when you go."

Buck had called earlier to say they were all meeting up at the diner for breakfast. Vin was surprised Buck was up so early but it turned out he hadn't gone to bed yet. It was JD's idea, Nate and Rain were on board and so was Ezra. Now that was a surprise. Buck had reached Chris on his cell and he'd said they'd be there. They. Josiah had assumed that he'd take Vin and meet up with Chris at the place. But Vin was adamant. Chris would not show up at the diner with Ezra or even just without Vin.

Vin smiled to himself when he heard Chris's truck in the driveway. He'd probably passed Josiah on the street. He set the paper down as Chris ascended the stairs to the deck.

Chris looked the same. A little tired, but not worn out. He smelled liked Ezra's sandalwood soap but tasted like toothpaste. Vin touched his cheek, forcing himself to stop cataloguing. He'd promised Chris, and himself, he wouldn't think about it.

"Morning glory," Chris said.

Vin snorted. Chris had adopted that greeting after Vin told him about his kindergarten teacher who began every day with it.

"Morning jerk," Vin responded, a big stupid grin on his face. "Everything go according to plan?"

Chris raised his eyebrows. "I don't kiss and tell."

"Oh yeah?" Vin caught his face and kissed him hard, Chris sinking to his knees between Vin's legs.

Chris broke the kiss to drop his head and nuzzle Vin's groin. "Let's skip breakfast. Go inside. Josiah won't mind if we mess up his sheets."

Vin carded his fingers through Chris's hair. "Don't expect he would. But I'm hungry. Got a hankerin' for blueberry pancakes."

"I'll make you pancakes after we make love," Chris said, the sound somewhat muffled by Vin's jeans.

Tempting. Chris made awesome pancakes. "Wanna wait, Chris. Make love at home, in our bed. Without Buck calling your cell phone every five seconds asking where we are."

Chris sat back on his haunches, laced the fingers of both hands with Vin's. "Yeah, guess you're right." He glanced down and silently wondered if Vin's cock thought it was such a great idea.

Vin's eyes lingered on his lover. The sun picked up the red and gold highlights in his hair, turned his cheeks just a little pink. "I love you, cowboy."

Chris looked up with his eyes only, bottom lip tucking under straight white teeth. That sweet, shy smile that had roped Vin's heart in so soon after they'd met. "I love you too, Vin. So freakin' much."

Vin watched out the window as the city gave way to more and more open space, his hand resting lightly on Chris's thigh. Breakfast had been a ribald affair, Buck elaborating way too much on his second encounter with the women from the bar.

Chris had pleaded for deliverance. "Buck, I'm eating," he kept saying.

But the others had loved it. Gone along with it. Even Rain had pulled out some blue material, embarrassing her husband more than a little.

Ezra and Vin chatted quietly at one end of the rowdy table. Neither referenced the night before, but it was there, not so remote but okay. Vin was pleased to see the tightness gone from Ezra's face. It had been there so long he'd almost forgotten it wasn't supposed to be. Ezra kept harping on what a beautiful morning it was, amusing Vin with his vow to turn over a new leaf and become an early riser.

The only acknowledgement from Ezra was a gentle squeeze of Vin's hand before the sharpshooter rose from the table, coupled with a look so appreciative it needed no words. Vin nodded, turning to get at least one dig in at Buck.

Once they hit the open road Chris's hand dropped from the wheel to cover Vin's. "You okay?"

Vin smiled. "Just because I don't want the," he almost said blow-by-blow, "play by play don't mean I'm bothered any." So maybe they couldn't walk away from it right away. "It was the right thing, Chris. I could see it in Ezra's face."

"It was one night, Vin," Chris said cautiously, aware that Vin knew there were no guarantees ever in life and certainly not with this. But he also knew how much Vin wanted it to work.

"A lot can change in one night," Vin said. "One night with you changed my life. Changed me."

Chris grinned. "For the better, I hope."

"Jury's still out on that, cowboy," Vin joked, let his shoulders down and he hadn't realized they were hunched. Already the air between them had cleared noticeably.

They rode the rest of the way in silence. A familiar and comfortable silence. Vin didn't waste any time at the house, unlocking the door quickly and leading the way in. Chris closed the front door and felt himself pushed against it, Vin's fervent kiss enough to make him hard.

Vin dragged his tongue along Chris's jaw, swirled it inside his ear. "Do me a favor, Chris," he whispered, the scent of Ezra's shampoo in his nostrils, "take a quick shower."

Chris's eyes were closed, his hands roaming idly along Vin's back. "Take it with me."

Vin pulled back. "Then it won't be quick."

Chris knit his brows. "Are we in a hurry?"

"Nope. Just wanna use the bed," Vin answered.

Chris did as Vin asked without further question or delay. Towel in hand and clad only in his boxers, Vin opened the shower door when the water stopped. He got Chris more or less dried off before hugging him and leading him to their bed.

Chris kissed him slowly at first, tenderly, gently easing them onto the foot of the bed. He was hard again, torn between devouring Vin whole and taking his time. Vin decided for him, deepening the kiss while tugging at his underwear. Chris broke the kiss to help, thrown off balance by Vin's hand on the back of his neck pulling him down. He landed awkwardly on his lover, who grunted but didn't slow the movement of his other hand as it zeroed in on Chris's cock.

Chris groaned into Vin's ear, groaned again when he felt long muscular legs wrap around him. His mouth sought Vin's and was rewarded with an eager, loving kiss. Chris put everything he had, everything he felt for Vin into that kiss. Vin let Chris's tongue lead, let it taunt and arouse him before claiming him completely. Practice for when he was claimed once more body and soul by Chris's overpowering lovemaking.

Vin still had Chris's cock, held it tightly. "Want this, Chris. Now," he rasped.

Chris reluctantly left his lover's fevered embrace to snatch what they'd need from the nightstand drawer. He smeared it on his cock and knelt back down between Vin's long legs. Gasping when they locked over his hips, Chris was afraid he'd come just from the pleasurable sensation of their dicks touching. But they both wanted more. Even with the curtains drawn there was more than enough daylight for them to see each other clearly, read each other, focus on each other with eyes wide open. Chris gazed into the depths of the beautiful blue eyes he knew so well, the eyes of his one and only love. Felt the universe shift back to where it was supposed to be.

Chris pushed into Vin carefully. Vin grunted but wanted more, wiggling his hips in an effort to bring more of Chris inside him. He slipped his arms under Chris's and grabbed his shoulders. With that bit of leverage he thrust against Chris, panted and thrashed as his lover hit his sweet spot over and over. Eyes initially alert struggled to maintain contact. Until neither one could stand it and they had to give in to their passion, closing their eyes but opening their hearts that much more.

Vin lowered his legs, hugged Chris to his chest to keep him near. They exchanged a few kisses before Chris eased out of and off of Vin. He grabbed the discarded boxers and wiped the semen from Vin's belly.

"Think I need a nap," Chris said eyeing the pillows.

Vin scooted over and pulled the covers down, lying on his side and patting the mattress. Chris lay down beside him, also on his side. He sighed when Vin spooned up closely. Vin's arm resting on his side was covered in goose bumps but he hadn't grabbed the blanket.

"Aren't you chilly," Chris asked.

"Uh-huh," Vin replied, skimming his lips over Chris's shoulders. He ran his hand along his lover's hip and nudged his leg in between Chris's.

Chris chuckled. "Guess we're not done playing."

Vin's hand roamed to the tender spot behind Chris's balls. He rubbed it with his knuckle a little before leaning up and across his lover. Chris had left the lube on the nightstand and Vin used it to coat his fingers generously. He resumed his exploration of Chris's most private area.

Vin worked his fingers in and out of Chris steadily, nipping his shoulders and neck as he loosened him up. When his own dick was set to burst, Vin reached for the lube again. He used his chest to urge Chris more onto his stomach. Chris rolled, bringing his knee in line with his belly. Vin was hard, pearly fluid leaking from his cock but he took his time, allowed Chris time to adjust to the invasion. Chris sought his hand and held tight, relaxing his grip some when he was ready for more.

Vin made love to Chris with long, languid thrusts. Fingers entwined, their hands pressed over Chris's heart as their hips moved in perfect rhythm. Chris relished the feel of Vin's hardness inside him, shuddered pleasurably at the loving words Vin whispered in his soft drawl against his throat and in his ear. Vin released his hand so he could slip his own under their bodies to stroke Chris. Sweat and residual come eased his movements. Chris sobbed his name hoarsely as he came, hand reaching back to grab Vin's head and seek his mouth.

Vin was amazed he'd outlasted Chris, whose body was almost unbearably hot and tight. He called out Chris's name against his lover's mouth when he climaxed, hips still rocking, Chris moving pliantly with him.

Vin stayed right where he was, recovering from his release and Chris's ravenous kiss. He gently caressed Chris's side, waited for Chris to relax.

Chris shifted under his weight. "Just so we're clear, Vin?"

Vin snuggled even closer to him, head resting on his shoulder. "Yeah. Just so we're clear."

THE END